Harry Maguire's Mam To Meet Her Majesty The Queen
There was rejoicing in South Yorkshire this afternoon, when the new Manchester United signing, Harry Maguire, broke the news to his dear old mam, that she had been invited to tea with Her Majesty the Queen. Maguire completed his move from Leiceste...
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Scottish Fire Brigade Warns Balmoral Castle ‘A Fire Trap’ Like Norte Damn
Abderdeenshire, Scotland - “She could go up in a puff of smoke,” a Royal Deeside fire chief said today amid news that Queen Elizardbirth has been told to pack in her nocturnal fags while vacationing at Balmoral Castle. The ageing Victorian Scottis...
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Letters to the Editor about Donald Trump
Dear Spoufe, I think it is terrible the way that people are calling Donald Trump a racist, and a bigot, and having a go at Nigel Farage. Let's face it, at least these gentlemen have the balls to say what we all think. And what's wrong with...
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Queen's portrait torched in Tehran siege
Tehran - Iranian government rent-a-mob heavies have stormed the British embassy and desecrated the Queen's portrait before setting it alight. Witnesses have described how bodliy functions were used to make a statement in broad daylight about the Q...
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Queen Plans Tour of Iran for Diamond Jubilee
Due to an administrative error the Queen has been booked for a tour of Iran to celebrate her sixty years sitting on her throne. The mistake was caused by a clerical officer misreading her direction to book the Queen for a journey on a train. His eyes...
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Queen Elizabeth offers Wayne Rooney a knighthood!
Enter Sir Wayne Rooney, the Queen has decided to give him a knighthood for his devoted services to Queen and country! Elizabeth, now entering a slightly demented phase in her life followed England's misfortunes on the telly against the old enemies...
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Obamas in London - Michelle wows the media with her fashion sense. Prince Philip asks Prez: "Wherever did you get those gleaming white teeth?"
Britain is like Narnia 'always Winter but never Christmas' says Palace astrologer
Queen's Christmas Speech To Have Subtitles For The First Time
Pope to meet the Queen and try and convert her
Queen Elizabeth Is Not Pleased With Kate's Baby Name Choices
Queen throws lavish homecoming bash for England football team
Jimmy Savile - Case Closed!
The Queen Feeling 'Unwell'
007 Interrupts Fole-De-Role about Bloody Polo Match on Radio Ga Ga FM to Explain the Naval Situation in the Pacific
Queen Elizabeth Explodes When She Hears That Prince William Will Be Filming Kate Middleton Giving Birth
Leaked Report Claims Windsor Family Served with Unexplained Wealth Order
Selena Gomez Filled With Gloom
Donald Trump State Dinner Gave Queen Heartburn
London, UK - (Rioters): “We feared Trump slipped her some sort of mickey finn,” a Palace surgeon said as flunkies reported seeing a suspicious fiery Mexican chilli floating in HM’s glass of champagne. Elizabeth looked visibly sickened following th...
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Prince Harry defends right to hang Rupert Murdoch
Bonny Prince Harry, currently standing in as Caretaker King due to family illnesses and honeymoons, today defended the controversial decision to order the hanging of newspaper publisher Rupert Murdoch. Harry took the keys to Buckingham Palace whil...
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Sarah Ferguson, "The Duchess of York" Confesses That She Now Regrets Not Having Worn Socks During Her 1992 Tryst With John Bryan
LONDON - Sarah Margaret Ferguson recently stated to a reporter for The Tickety Boo News that in her 51 years she has probably had more ups and downs that the American stock market. The Marylebone, London native spoke candidly with Neville Twickenb...
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Oprah Winfrey's Unbelievably Amazing Offer To Queen Elizabeth!
LONDON - Oprah Winfrey the richest woman in the United States was recently invited by Queen Elizabeth to attend a dinner at Buckingham Palace in honor of legendary rhythm and blues artist Smokey Robinson, lead singer with one of Motown's greatest groups Smokey Robinson and The Miracles. The music legend who was born William Robinson, Jr., in Detroit has been performing for 55 years. And in that...
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Susan Boyle has offered Queen Elizabeth a special gown for the wedding
Susan Boyle has offered Queen Elizabeth a special gown to wear at Wills's and Kate's April wedding. Susan has kindly offered the Queen the gold dress SHE wore at her April '09 BGT audition. She said that it brought her luck and thinks it would be ideal for Queen Elizabeth and, more importantly, it will save the country a few quid. Naturally the famous dress has been dry-cleaned and is hangi...
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Queen summons army to quell rebellious Scots
Her Majesty the Queen was at the head of a five thousand-strong army marching to the Scottish border last night. The Queen has grown weary of Scottish dissent and repeated calls for independence from the United Kingdom, and will attempt to quell t...
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Sovereign debt crisis: the Queen's horse racing losses revealed
London - Queens called 'Elizabeth' have a tragic track record of running up huge horse racing debts Parliament was told today. But Government 'shorthand' for the country's economic mess may be hiding the true extent of Queen Elizabeth II's gamblin...
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New Blockbuster Bond Movie Set to Break Records
A new James Bond film is set to break all box office records. Called "Never Live Again Unless Once More Over The Eight" it sets out to give Bond a human face: Explained producer Erin Broccoli with his writer-director son Benjamin; "Well, we figured i...
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Donald Trump Swallowed Up By Hole In The Ground
There were scenes of utter and outright pandemonium outside Buckingham Palace this afternoon, as US President, Donald Trump, in the UK on a three-day state visit, and on his way to meet the Queen and the rest of the royal family, was literally swallo...
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Queen Elizabeth II Now Carries iPad in her Hat
Her hats have always been striking. Especially lately, when she's had her hats refashioned to include a slot for her iPad. Palace insiders say that the Queen has been quite impressed with the interest generated by granddaughter Princess Beatric...
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Duke of Cambridge's elevation sparks Fenland conflagration
Prince William's appointment as Duke if Cambridge has pushed East Anglia to the brink of civil war, as the Windsor dynasty's expansion re-ignites ancient feudal rivalries. With Lord Browne of Madingley encamped on the city's west, Baroness Trumpingto...
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Russell Brand and Katy Perry Deny That There Is Trouble In "Hairadise"
LONDON - Mr. and Mrs. Russell Brand have just celebrated their five month marriage and some individuals who are close to the two stars say that to use an old Cleveland cliché, 'the honeymoon is over.' One unnamed friend of the couple, who spoke on...
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'Too many Nazis in Royal Enclosure': Ascot racecourse chief quits
Ascot, Berks - (Associated Mess): Douglas Erskine Crumbs-of-Comfort, head of Royal Ascot racecourse redevelopment, has suddenly quit his job following thousands of complaints that this year's June meeting was beset with hordes of riff-raff and &q...
Read full storyFunny Queen Elizabeth II Headlines
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US Photographer Shames Queen, Crown
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Being Vladimir Putin's assistant not a proper job Queen tells Kate Middleton
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Old Queen's 'Nice Little Earner' This Summer!
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The Queen Set To Be A Judge On 'The HRH Factor'
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"F**k The Diamond Jubilee!" campaign set to make a killing
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Kate and William look-a-likes stood in for them at the Jubilee Concert
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Queen - McGuinness Handshake Rehearsal Fiasco
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Queen's horror as 'virtually extinct' flesh-eating spiders introduced into Sandringham bogs
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Queen sends back Dubya's portrait of favorite corgi after spotting penis in painting
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Her Majesty Mistakenly Locked in Men's Wimbledon Locker Room
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The Queen Was Nearly Toppled By Fanny Craddock Shock
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Queen sends a Buckingham Palace Diary to Hillary Clinton
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New Year's Honours to be Decided by X-Factor style Public Vote
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Queen could die from solar eclipse-related sunstroke say Palace quacks
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Irish Say Enough Already; Have Had It with Famous Visitors
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Wednesday's State Opening of Parliament will be the Queen's last
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Queen's Diamond Jubilee Celebrations: Man admits 'I'm going slightly mad'
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Helen Mirren To Replace The Queen For This Year's Televised Christmas Day Speech!
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Queen's speech in summary
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The Queen to have Trump's anchor baby!
