When Donald Trump learned that Queen Elizabeth invited the Bidens for a sleepover at Windsor, he exploded. He never had such an invite.
He tried to telephone the Queen and ask why he had never been invited for a sleepover, but the Palace telephone operator would not put him through. He persisted, arguing that he would have his Justice Department do a background check on her and report her to MI5 or 6, whichever would be appropriate.
Adding to his consternation, the operator tersely replied, “Go right ahead.”
He then telephoned his old good friend British Prime Minister Boris Johnson and demanded to know why Boris had never arranged for a sleepover at Windsor Castle for the Trumps? And how did he ever get such a Russian-sounding Communist first name like Boris?
“Invites to Windsor? Not my cup of tea. Boris? It was really Morris which was boring. Almost as bad as Donald, which is the first name for a duck. I can arrange for you to be put up at a First Western Motel with a W in its name. But you have to drive up in a car."
Super upset, he next telephoned his really, really, (Sally Field, are you listening) good friend Vladimir Putin and asked for a quick invite for an overnight stay in the Kremlin.
"It's yours, Donny. Just bring your PJs. We'll supply the telephones, cameras, and breakfast. And how about a few more nights at the Moscow Ritz-Carlton in the Presidential Suite?"
"So there! I'm still relevant. Really, really relevant."
Note from Sally Field: Just quit it.
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