A Very Sexy Transgender Hooters Girl Says That Marjorie Taylor Greene Texts Her At Least a Dozen Times a Day
SAN FRANCISCO - (Satire News) - An attractive Hooters girl, who was born a boy, has informed Bedroom Pillow Talk, that Marjorie Taylor Greene has become obsessed and infatuated with her since seeing her on the "Tonight Show." Cordelia Figgatini, 2…
Read full storyMatt Hancock's Charisma
An updated version of Han's Christian Anderson's fable, The Emporer's New Clothes is to be updated for a new show at this year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival - Matt Hancock's Charisma. Students Felicity Finknottle and her boyfriend Oliver Tallbloke h…
Read full storyCraig David fan realises that none of his weeks will ever be like the one in the song
Back in the day, Harry Brassingthwaite was a fan of Craig David, but at the age of 53 knows that none of his weeks will ever be like the one that Craig David sang about. 'Yes, it seems a bit sad' said Harry who spent most of his Friday night regro…
Read full storyAlabama Tells Atheists To Leave The State Immediately Or Else...
MONTGOMERY, Alabama - (Satire News) - The state of Alabama which prides itself in three things (1) Being known as "The Land of Cotton," (2) Being an extremely religious state, with churches on every street corner, and (3) Being the state that positiv…
Read full storyA Toilet Manufacturer Is Recalling 16 Million Toilets
CESSPOOL CREEK, Mississippi - (Satire News) - The I Wish I Was In Dixie Commode Company has just announced a major toilet recall. Company spokespeson, Scarlett "Dumpy" Biggerstaff, 48, said that the reason for the recall is due to the fact that se…
Read full storyTrump Is Such a Stupid Jerk That He Doesn't Realize That Republicans Do Not Want Him To Be Their Presidential Candidate
DUCK DUNG, Alabama - (Satire News) - It is no secret that the state that voted the most for ToxicTrump in 2020, was the cotton pickin' state of Alabama, where cotton is king, and the people revere the money-making commodity. The highly reputable Q…
Read full storyBritain to Send Illegal Boat Immigrants to Vacation in Beautiful Rwanda
Prime minister Rishi - whose parents were immigrants - doesn't have any sympathy for more immigrants coming to England from France. (Immigrants boating from France to England has become a major industry - 28,000 last year alone.) Using a Liz…
Read full storyCharles Wants Sun Tan Lotion for his Coronation Ceremony - (the Royal Anointing)
Part of the coronation ceremony is an anointing with oils on hands and face. Charles being a thoroughly modern monarch has asked for suntan lotion for the royal anointing. Also, he hates the thought of olive oil and cinnamon on his skin.
Read full storyThe Detroit Police Department Has Just Hired The Nation's First F-9 Feline Cat
DETROIT, Michigan - (US Satire) - The Detroit Police Department has just hired what is believed to be the first F-9 feline cat in the entire United States. MoTown police chief Roscoe F. Guthrie, informed the news media that a 7-year-old calico cat…
Read full storyNew TV Entertainment Program the 'Masked Royals' will probably be Fun to Watch
TV producers think that most of the public would like to see some royals come out sing, dance or tell jokes (and make a general fool out of themselves.) (In addition to the current royals doing it for free). But - in developing the show - the…
Read full storyNo Child Left Alone to Enjoy their American Childhoods
Coming soon in America … Every child MUST own at least one gun. (Ask Santa for an AR-15, kids – they’re the best!) Every child MUST watch at least one cool and awesome TV show that features drug usage, violence, blood and guts, lots of Christi…
Read full storyMetallica Sings Mother Goose
James Hetfield, leader singer of Metallica, has announced that the band will release a new album this summer. “Metallica Sings Mother Goose!” That’s right, Metallica will be doing all-heavy metal versions of your favourite nursery rhymes. “H…
Read full storyWhite Man Has TV Trial – With Great Ratings!
A white man named Murdaugh, who was a lawyer – one of the 1%, for Christ’s sake – has finished his trail that made the news and received great ratings! Another white person in court! When will the madness end? The GOP are blaming the Dems, who ar…
Read full storyPope Under Arrest for Crimes Against 2000 Years of Humanity
The Pope was arrested late last night and quickly flown to The Hague, where his trial was ready and raring to go. What’s the charge? Crimes against humanity … for the past 2000 years! Holy fuck! The Pontiff has plead not guilty by reason of…
Read full storyEvery American Woman is a Whore, and Their Babies Are Jesus
Women in the USA who dare to have abortions could get the death penalty, proving once again, that babies are gods and their mothers are fallen hookers … just like in the Bible! “Killing the baby by the mother is bad, but killing the mother by the…
Read full storyPope Caught With Holy Crucifix Vibrator
Pope Francis was caught yesterday afternoon by a gaggle of his best nuns using a crucifix-shaped vibrating dildo … but no one will say where on his body, and they have been sworn to secrecy. As the Pope stuttered out a reply, someone said that he…
Read full storyJ Lo Forgot Her Name-O
Jennifer Lopez, also known as J Lo, recently forgot how to spell her name. She called Ben Affleck, also known as Ben Aff, or B to the Aff, or J-Lo’s Benny Aflack, etc etc … but old Ben also didn’t know. “Did you try it with a B, like what my na…
Read full storyLady Gaga Sharted – Fans Go Wild and Shit Themselves in Support
Miami Beach, Botswana, Lady Gaga had a sold out concert last night, and this reporter had a blast to see history in the making … but it’s not why you think! As Gaga was singing “Po-po-po-po-pokerface …” she sharted. (A combo between a fart and…
Read full storyAlex Murdaugh is innocent
News of the World - All the evidence gathered shows that Alex Murdaugh is innocent. It's a puzzle that anyone can unravel. You gather all the evidence online then you look for inconsistencies. Alex Murdaugh is portrayed as a liar and a cheat, but…
Read full storyMufasa Returns From The Afterlife To Sue The NBA Sacramento Kings
Sacramento, CA – In federal court this afternoon, an obviously distraught, distressed and straight up dead Mufasa served legal paperwork regarding an NIL (Name Image & Likeness) issue he has with Slamson the Lion, the official mascot of the Sacra…
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