There were 1,589 spoof news stories published in February 2011. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Vacationing Down In The 'Big Easy' Deny Those Pesky Pregnant Rumors
NEW ORLEANS - The Vampire Dairies duo of Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev flew down to New Orleans, aka The Big Easy, and checked into the highly exquisite Hotel Ooh La La. Somerhalder has stayed there on several occasions whereas this was Dobrev's...
Read full storyChristina Aguilera Leads Fight to Change America's National Anthem
Christina Aguilera has had enough of the criticism for her flubbing the Star-Spangled Banner during this year's Super Bowl. She claims that only a handful of Americans actually know all the words to the 'incredibly difficult and outdated' song and be...
Read full storyDolly Parton Finally Admits That She Did Indeed Have Breast Reduction Surgery But Only On One Breast
GREEN BAY, Wisconsin - Country music twin icon Dolly Parton performed before a sell-out crowd in Green Bay, who bravely braved the minus 17 degree weather to attend the concert at The Box of Snowballs Auditorium . Parton who one could clearly see...
Read full storyFruit and Vegetable sex toys
A recent survey carried out by Girl Play magazine has revealed a liking of fruit and vegetables as sex toys among sexually active and adventurous women. "The most popular vegetable was the carrot," said magazine editor, Andrea Fuller. "Women repor...
Read full storySarah Ferguson, "The Duchess of York" Confesses That She Now Regrets Not Having Worn Socks During Her 1992 Tryst With John Bryan
LONDON - Sarah Margaret Ferguson recently stated to a reporter for The Tickety Boo News that in her 51 years she has probably had more ups and downs that the American stock market. The Marylebone, London native spoke candidly with Neville Twickenb…
Read full storyKristen Stewart's Left Nipple Slips Out During Her Interview With Piers Morgan
NEW YORK CITY - Kristen Stewart who is best noted for her role as Bella Swan in The Twilight Saga vampire movies appeared on Piers Morgan Tonight to talk about her upcoming movie with Vanessa Hudgens titled The Twillington Twins Traipse All Over Toky...
Read full storyLatest Apple iPad Is Just for Babies: It's the bPad!
Does your baby scream like a banshee when you're on the computer trying to get some work done? A nap, bottle, or diaper change may not satisfy little Jack or Janie. What the baby may want is his or her own computer. Sharing isn't all it's crac...
Read full storyIBM Computer Watson Turns into a Bully after "Jeopardy" Win
Watson may be a genius, but even geniuses don't always know how to behave. Reports are that Watson, after besting two champions on the game show "Jeopardy," turned out to be an obnoxious bully at the celebratory party after the match. Not...
Read full storyCity Legend Mike Summerbee In Sky Sports Meltdown
Former Manchester City star Mike 'Tra-la-la-la' Summerbee had a Keeganesque few minutes today in the Sky Sports studio at Old Trafford following today's Manchester derby. Clearly disappointed, and exuding bitterness, the former City winger finally...
Read full storyArchive: Martha Washington Gives Abigail Adams Some Racy Relationship Advice
(Originally published in the Feb 1797 issue of the The Satirist) A letter from Martha Washington to Abigail Adams was recently attained and transcribed by our District of Columbia chief muckraker, Richard N. Bullocks. The letter was written shortly after the election of John Adams as the second President of the United States of America. Dearest Abigail, How art thou? Congratulations...
Read full storyAndy Caroll joins Liverpool, told to get a hair cut
Andy Carroll, the hero of Tyneside is set to become the hero of Merseyside, but only if he gets a hair cut. "It was bad enough that Torres used to wear a headband," said lifelong Liverpool fan and Newcastle boss, Alan Pardew. "But Andy wears a scr...
Read full storySarah Palin to Campaign for President While Wearing Thong
Sarah Palin's new campaign manager has decided that there is more to what the male voters see than what they hear, or fail to hear, during a presidential campaign. Therefore, Hosni Eastwood has decided that Sarah Palin should run for President of the...
Read full storyDisney Sues Over Porno Film 'Chitty-Chitty Gang Bang'
SoCal - Today the Disney Corporation has announced they will be suing over the title of a recently released pornographic film, "Chitty-Chitty Gang Bang". The title of the porno is a play on words of 1960's Disney film "Chitty-Chitty, Bang Bang," whic...
Read full storyAdam Lambert Penis Mishap on Stage Blamed on Wardrobe
Adam Lambert has sent out word this morning that last night's incident while he was performing before a live audience in New Jersey was a complete fluke. According to a spokesman, the sudden flip-out of the glitter rock artist's penis during the f...
Read full storyAn Egyptian Pyramid and Sphinx Have Been Unearthed In Mississippi
NATCHEZ, Mississippi - Scientists are mystified at the discovery of an Egyptian pyramid and sphinx which were recently uncovered by a highway construction crew seven miles outside of the Mississippi town of Natchez. USA Sunup interviewed Sherman R...
Read full storyNASA Astronaut: "Hey Obama: Call Me When You Want Your Shuttle Back!"
Protests have sprung up all over the world to voice opposition to everything from human rights violations to public union's ability to collectively bargain. The protests for all intents and purposes have been a success: Power grabs by dictators in Eg...
Read full storyTaylor Lautner Claims Rob Pattinson Sniffs Kristen Stewart's Panties
As Robert Pattinson was talking with a group of Twilight fans at a staged event where the actors from the Twilight movies travel and promote the show, Taylor Lautner was beside him when he heard Pattinson joke about Lautner falling asleep once and be...
Read full storyRichard Simmons' Tweet Causes Massive Crimewave
Richard Simmons singlehandedly caused a spike in vending machine theft when he tweeted a Wall Street Journal article about recession-fueled vandalism. The article focused on hi-tech crime prevention techniques, but may end up causing more thefts...
Read full storyNina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder of "The Vampire Dairies" Spotted Nuzzling Below The Santa Monica Pier
SANTA MONICA - Two of the stars of The Vampire Dairies took advantage of the beautiful February springtime weather and visited the Santa Monica Pier. Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder spent the afternoon enjoying themselves after having spent seven...
Read full storyVictoria's Secret: Models Wear Crotchless Panties Because There's No There There
At long last the secret that has been hidden from true believers has been revealed; the nymphet models for this provocative display of flesh have legs so long that they are virtual infinitesimal parallelograms. That being so, the fact that they...
Read full storyKate Middleton inflatable sex doll bombs
London - (Barefaced Cheek): Sales of Kate Middleton blow-up sex dolls have dived following customer dissatisfaction with the toy's much-hyped lubricants. The $5,000 latex plaything is billed as coming with a state-of-the-art body-temperature gel d...
Read full storyKristen Stewart Says That is Not Her in XXX Amateur Blue Movie
A very upset Kristen Stewart tweeted her fans today that that is definitely NOT her in the amateur blue movie that is going round. "Someone is making some money here and I have turned a copy I bought over to the authorities. You can tell that it w...
Read full storyThorpe Park ghost train ride moved amid paranoia over poltergeist activitiy
Surrey - (Hexoplasm): The classic cliche of a headless monk was blamed today as workmen downed tools in an amusement park makeover. Management at Thorpe Park even brought in self-styled 'ghostbusters' to exorcise a new ride following reports that...
Read full storyPooner - The True Origin Of The Word Finally Unearthed
The modern urban dictionary defines a "pooner" in a number of different ways, but a lexicographer who frequently makes use of the Bodelian Library in Oxford has turned the closeted world of lexicography completely on its head. Clem Baker, of Abing...
Read full storyKristen Stewart Nude Pole Dancing Shock
Sultry Twilight star Kristen Stewart flew back to Vancouver this morning, after enjoying a pre-Oscars party get-together with co-star Robert Pattinson. The pair were spotted smooching at the celeb-riddled bash at the fabulous Chateau Marmont hotel...
Read full storySemi-Nude Italian Women Protest Sexy Hot Berlusconi Bunga Bunga Parties
Italian women turned out in droves across the country yesterday to protest Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi's overtly sexist Bunga Bunga parties where he is accused of having open sexual relations with numerous young female starlets and models. In...
Read full storyAngelina Jolie Demands That George Clooney Apologize For Calling Her Kids, "A Pack of Brats"
LAKE CHARLES, Louisiana - Brad Pitt is currently in New Orleans filming the latest in the Indian Jones adventure series of films entitled, Indiana Jones - The Search For The Alternative Life Style. The film also stars Harrison Ford, Neil Patrick H...
Read full storyBoxer Amir Khan admits 'I was handbag-wielding SuperGranny in foiled robbery'
The story of the old lady that 'clobbered' robbers with her handbag took a strange twist today when WBA champion boxer Amir Khan claimed it was him. Video of the raid on a jeweller's in Northampton shows what appears to be an elderly woman in a red...
Read full storyCalendar Girls Style Nude Calendar to be Released by MP's wives - Thank you Sally Bercow!
It appears Sally Bercow has a lot to answer for! Her risque photos in front of Big Ben have inspired other MP's wives and partners to get in on the act! A 'Calendar Girls' style calendar to be released as part of this year's Comic Relief celebrati...
Read full storyPolice to be Issued with Handbags
Following in the footsteps of Hero Granny, Ann Timpson, 71 the Police are being issued with red handbags with which to deal with criminals. Ann took on four sledgehammer wielding jewel thieves in Northampton with shouts of 'Stop It!' and landed se...
Read full storyStorm in a Bedsheet - Mr Bercow Will Go Potty
"'I look a complete idiot': Sally Bercow reacts to the furore over the 'storm in a bedsheet' photoshoot in front of Parliament Sally Bercow, wife of the House of Commons Speaker, today admitted she had been "stitched up like a kipper" and had made...
Read full storyMrs Gaddafi blames husband's voluptuous blond Ukranian wet nurse Galyna Kolotnytska
Bab al-Azizia, Libya - Mrs Fatima Cheryl Cole Gaddafi has vented her fury at the decrepit old bastard who's fired rockets at the Libyan people. "He's not the Leader of the Revolution, he's a very naughty senile old fart!" Mrs Gaddafi said today.
Read full storyChelsea Clinton Denies She Wants Annulment After Hubby Caught Doing 'Bunny Hop' At Ski Bar!
Looking wan, drawn out, sickly and quite unappealing, actually a lot like her famous mother, Chelsea Clinton emerged from a NYC fitness (sic) center yesterday telling gathered press that her dysfunctional marriage "was stronger than ever" and expecte...
Read full storyBikini Pics of Nina Dobrev Reveal Possible Bulimia
Weighing just over one-hundred pounds, Vampire Diaries star, Nina Dobrev looks pretty slim in some recently released bikini shots. "We do worry about Dobrev", stated program manager, Mario Ginsberg. "She claims that this has been her normal weigh...
Read full storyGood News: President Obama Has Quit Smoking - Bad News: He's Taken Up Chewing Tobacco
WASHINGTON, D.C. - White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax has told the White House Press Corps that President Obama, after months and months of trying has finally kicked the cigarette habit. The members of the media erupted in a thunderous applaus...
Read full storyOscar Winner Colin Firth's Hotel Room Tagged By Banksy
It was all good a couple of hours ago for Brit actor Colin Firth, as he collected the Oscar for Best Actor in The King's Speech and went on to a proper Hollywood knees up with Billy Crystal and a holographic projection of the late and greatly lamente...
Read full storyNina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Visit The Alamo and Get The Indecent Exposure Charges Dropped
SAN ANTONIO - The stars of The Vampire Dairies, Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder visited San Antonio after spending a few days in New Orleans. The couple walked hand-in-hand down the famed River Walk where Nina could be seen feeding Cheetos dipped...
Read full storyDome of the Rock UFO traced to Krak des Chevaliers hangar in Syria
Tel Aviv - (Pie-In-The-Sky): Erected in 1031 on a massive meteorite outcrop the ancient Crusader fortress forms the capstone of an alien civilization's subterranean silo. Last week a mystery UFO above Israel's Dome of the Rock was traced to a hang...
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens Spotted Leaving Robert Pattinson's Malibu Beach House At 3 A.M.
MALIBU BEACH - It appears that Robert Pattinson's recent relationship with Mexico's Azteca TV sports reporter Ines Sainz has certainly not gone into overtime. Bedroom Pillow Talk reported that Pattinson had a hard time dealing with the fact that e...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Denies The Scandalous Cory Monteith Rumor
HOLLYWOOD - Taylor Swift was asked by Bedroom Pillow Talk if it was true that she had in fact written three songs about her relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal. Swift admitted that she had. She noted that each time she has broken up with a boyfriend...
Read full storyVisual World To Revert To Black-and-White
Scientists have warned that our visual world will almost certainly revert to monochrome, or black-and-white, within the next five to ten years. Those who have viewed photographs, films or television recordings made during the early or mid 20th cen...
Read full storyJustin Bieber, Selena Gomez, and Demi Lovato Ride The Fastest Roller Coaster In The World Hitting Speeds of Up To 285 MPH!
LAKE CHARLES, Louisiana - Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, and Demi Lovato, who was just recently released from a rehab clinic after a three month stay, were invited by the CEO of the South's newest and biggest amusement theme park to attend the opening...
Read full storyChicharito's Girlfriend Shakira Bares It All As A Goodwill Gesture of Peace And Harmony Between Colombia and England
MANCHESTER - The Colombian belly dancing firecracker Shakira and the Mexican Manchester United footballer Chicharito are celebrating their first month anniversary. Shakira, whose hips have been clocked at 124 miles per hour, told a reporter for Ta...
Read full storyAguilera Double Whammy
Christina Aguilera broke two records earlier today at the Superbowl final between Oxford and Cambridge at The J.R. Ewing Arena,Texas.Not only was her version of 'Star Spangled Banner' the worst version of the famous ballad ever,complete with wrong wo...
Read full storyAerosmith's Steven Tyler and The Rolling Stones' Mick Jagger Argue About Which One Has 'Bedded' The Most Women
HOLLYWOOD - The lead singer for Aerosmith Steven Tyler told reporters that he is loving every single minute of being the new judge on the American Idol panel. Steven, known as "Lips" Tyler because of his Mick Jaggeresque trout snout says that he c...
Read full storySelena Gomez And Emma Watson Latch On To Socks Craze
Seems like it's official - everybody's going mad for socks. Nobody seems to know why, but socks appear to be the latest craze. It seems like every celebrity or sports star on the planet has been out shopping and buying socks this last weekend.
Read full storyColin Firth "Rootless" Complaint Upsets Chiswick Neighbours
As he waves at the world's cameras from the BAFTA red carpet tonight, Colin Firth's Chiswick neighbours will be experiencing mixed emotions. On one hand, of course, they want their local film star to win the best actor award for his portrayal of K...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart Disappear
It has been exclusively revealed to us here at Tripe News International that Twilight toothsome twosome and bloodsucking bosom buddies and blood transfusing Transylvanian top totty superstars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have disappeared.
Read full storyPattinson poisoned by Kristen's Valentine Dinner
Water for Elephants and Twilight star, Robert Pattinson, was today admitted to hospital with debilitating stomach cramps and vomiting attacks earlier today. Pattinson was said to have started feeling ill, shortly after eating alleged girlfriend,...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Responds To Recent Nude Photos By Saying That They Were Outsourced To Pakistan
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Miley Cyrus had flown down to sunny Mexico to get away from the hustle and bustle of the Land of "Quiet on the set." She checked into the Pancho Villa Resort Villa for two days of chillaxing and relaxing in the hot Baja Ca...
Read full storyRevealed: Nina Dobrev Caught Skinny-Dipping With Friend Last Year
When a reporter heard Nina Dobrev and some of her friends giggling just after a session in which the crew of "The Vampire Diaries" answered some questions about the television program and if there will be a movie soon, he cornered the group of four l...
Read full storyAshley Tisdale and Brenda Song Deny That They Went Camping In The Buff At Yosemite National Park
HOLLYWOOD - Two of the Disney Channels most popular stars Ashley Tisdale and Brenda Song are both staying busy pouring over movie scripts from many of Tinsel Town's motion picture companies. Tisdale became famous by portraying Naddie Fitzpatrick,...
Read full storyChelsea Clinton Marriage on "Slippery Slope" as Husband Quits Arranged Marriage to Go Skiing!
Chelsea Clinton is reportedly 'devastated' as news leaked that her husband, hedge fund guru, Marc Mezvinsky, has quit his job, quit his 5th Avenue Apartment, and quit her, fleeing to an upscale western skiing resort known for snow bunny 'Bunga-Bung...
Read full storyKristen Stewart Signs Line of Panties Contract With Haralds of Hollywood
A spokesman for actress Kristen Stewart has announced that the young actress from the Twilight movies has signed a business contract with Haralds of Hollywood for them to do a line of panties that will be out during the coming summer. "We are very...
Read full storyWaiting for the bath water to cool down - A 'new' experience
Yes, I am waiting for my bathwater to cool down. This is definitely a NEW experience for me. My two daughters, in their teens and early 20's, took so many showers that there was NEVER enough hot water for me to have 'a good soak' so I started taking 'showers'. This was 'alien' to me because I was born 3 yrs. after WWII and lived for my first seven years in as terraced house without an indoo...
Read full storyTurin Shroud Alternative Available
Each year, millions of people -- including Pope Benedict XVI -- view the Turin shroud while it's on view at various locations in Europe. The reason for its popularity stems from the fact that it appears to bear the image of Jesus' face. But identi...
Read full storyTaylor Lautner Complains That Kristen Stewart Sniffs Robert Pattinson's Socks
This news item is totally uncorroborated and based purely on statements made by certain individuals whose veracity cannot be certified by Skoob Entertainment News. An unidentified source today released a statement, scrawled on a school exercise bo...
Read full storySecret Saudi 'Area 51' shielding Libya UFO
Saudi Arabia - Draconian censorship shields the Jabal Al-Lawz alien structure believed by Biblical scholars to be Mount Sinai. Last week smuggled Saudi video footage confirmed an egg-shaped UFO rising from the Jordanian/Saudi border peak ahead of...
Read full storySubo Attacked By Man With Foot Fetish!
Singer Susan Boyle told police in London that she had been attacked by a man with a foot fetish backstage after a recent performance there. "I was going to my dressing room and it was late because of several encores so there weren't as many people...
Read full storyGay Men Detest Pink Socks
A gay man almost lost his temper this morning on Channel Six breakfast TV show 'Bacon And Eggs With Pauline McGlynn' when the Irish star of Father Ted asked him if he ever wears pink socks. Algernon Farquarse almost exploded as the former Mrs Doyl...
Read full storyLady Gaga cross-breeds chicken with peacock to form human-life sized egg
Backstage at Lady Gaga's interview with Jay Leno on Valentine's Day there was some undiscovered footage of their conversation behind the scenes. Although he had questioned her publicly about her outfits and get-up at the Grammy's one day prior to the...
Read full storyEasyjet Takeover RAF
In a bold move by the UK government Easyjet owner Stelios announced today that he would soon be taking control of the RAF. Stelios said 'Cutbacks in UK spending power meant I was able to purchase the RAF at very reasonable price.' Some of the m...
Read full storyAshley Cole now less popular than the Ebola virus survey says
A recent survey by pollsters YouGov has revealed that Ashley Cole is now less popular than the Ebola virus. This has come on the back of recent allegations made by the News of the World involving the troubled footballer's antics with an air-gun, that...
Read full storyAnimal Cruelty
Cinderella is now 95 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship. One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother. Cinderella said, 'Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years'? The fairy godmother repl...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Rekindles Her Feud With Taylor Momsen
EL PASO, Texas - La Chupacabra Convention Center in El Paso was completely sold out as the 30,000 fans eagerly awaited the star of the evening's show Miley Cyrus. Zydeco Dupree, a comedian from Louisiana had opened the show. And now a local Native...
Read full storyRihanna releases pop song to publicise her latest porn video
Raunchy Rihanna has released a song called 'S&M' which she hopes will help to catapult her video of the same name into the British porn charts. And she has criticised the BBC for 're-naming' the song 'Come on' rather than using the original titl...
Read full storyHow Justin Bieber Helped the Revolution in Egypt
Now that there has been an overthrow of the government of Egypt by the people there, many of the protesters are claiming that singer Justin Bieber spurred them on with his encouraging music. "It is now being heard in Iran, Saudi Arabia, Jordan and...
Read full storyThe Reason Why Teen Idols Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, and Demi Lovato Refused To Appear In The Movie "The Little Fockers"
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Demi Lovato was being interviewed about her recent three month stay at The Henry and Betty Ford Rehab Clinic when she revealed to Bedroom Pillow Talks Summersetter Faxx that she had been offered the role of Gaylord "Greg" Focker's y...
Read full storyMy husband's Jewish - but not so orthodox that we have hole-in-the-sheet sex says Sally Bercow
London - (Reuterus): That notorious bedsheet caper may come to haunt the Speaker Bercows amid reports a 'large aperture' was airbrushed from newspaper pics. "The mere idea of slashed-sheet intercourse is itself a gross phallacy," an irate Golders...
Read full storyUp The Buses! - Part Three
Act 2 Scene 1 Interior - Blakey's office. Inspector Blake is sitting at his desk reading from a sheaf of paperwork. His expression is one of incredulity. He is talking to himself as he reads... BLAKEY - Hurrrr! Hurrrrr! They've gotta be 'avin' a larf innit? Sick? Sick? Eighteen staff I've got off on the sick right now. Not one of 'em's genuine. I'll 'ave em. I'll 'ave the bleedin' lot of 'em...
Read full storyChristina Aguilera Sends David Archuleta A 'Sexually Explicit' Text Message After His Record Company Drops Him
BEVERLY HILLS - Stating that she herself has been there before, singing sensation Christina Aguilera has reached out to American Idol alumni David Archuleta after his record label Hand Jive Records dropped him. Aguilera was at the Haven of Hair Sa...
Read full storyRooney Elbow Incident - Trial By BBC?
If the pundits on BBC television's Match Of The Day are to be believed, Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney has already (or shortly will be) tried and convicted by the FA for an elbow incident, early on in Saturday's Premier League clash at Wigan Athletic. In a reasonably entertaining game - which United won by a comfortable four goal margin with a brace from Chicharito, a strike by Rooney,...
Read full storyRed tops drag Little Maddie into Joanna Yeates funeral
Bristol - (R.I.Pizza): Morning headlines in today's Daily Smearer have confirmed the nation's worst fears. News of 'Our Jo's' parents' alignment with Kate and Gerry McCann has startled many, including lawyers for Vincent Tabak. Readers are gobs...
Read full storySelena Gomez and Demi Lovato Buy Justin Bieber A Shetland Pony For His Birthday
LOS ANGELES - Two of America's favorite young female singers have just bought one of America's favorite male singers a very special birthday gift. Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato went on eBay and purchased a Shetland pony to give to their fellow sing...
Read full storyMurder Suspect Tabak Should Be - Presumed INNOCENT Until Proved Guilty
An innocent young girl has been murdered but will an innocent man by found guilty of her murder? The speed with which Vincent Tabak was charged with the murder of Joanna Yeates without firm evidence has provoked more questions than answers. As Joanna's parents prepare to bury their beautiful daughter on Friday, the family of Vincent Tabak are experiencing a living nightmare that shows no sig...
Read full storyEarly to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise
Carlton Hennings of the Psychological Institute of Swindon, Sussex heard the phrase "Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise" when he was very young. Being a keen analytical thinker, he decided that he would try and determine whether there was any truth in this Old Wives Tale. "From the age of nine I have followed a strict regime," said Hennings, now fifty-eight...
Read full storyThin Lizzie guitarist found dead in hotel room; Fat Lizzie in Buck House is next say seers!
Estepona - (RIP News): No word yet whether drugs, drink or some other rockstar-ish shenanigans were involved in Gary Moore's death. The 58 year-old Irishman was found in his luxury suite at the Kempinski Resort Hotel in Estepona, some 25 years aft...
Read full storySally 'Sex Bomb' Bercow: bedsheet made me look a t***! (£50K modelling fee soon softened the blow)
London - (Dildo Baggins News): The 'Poison Dwarf' Speaker's wife is said to be fool (sic) of shame - as a reported £50,000 modelling cheque snuggles down comfily in her bank account. Some tacky bedsheet-draped semi-nude newspaper pics were meant...
Read full storyStill No Conspiracy Theory in Singer's Death
This April will mark the ninth anniversary of the death of Alice in Chains singer Layne Staley. Yet, almost a decade after the sad event, no conspiracy theory has been put forth to explain the vocalist's demise. According to Kyle Starbuck, a mus...
Read full storyMichael Jackson Captured on Google Earth Street View in Los Angeles
For those who believe that Michael Jackson is still alive, there may be some validation in that belief courtesy of a Google Earth street view image that purports to be none other than the King of Pop walking across Ventura Boulevard in Los Angeles.
Read full storyBanksy To Show Up At The Oscars In A Burkha!
Skoob Entertainment News supremo Buffty Ginslinger has just emailed a sensational breaking news story, describing how Oscar nominee and enigmatic street artist, Banksy, is to show up at the Oscars wearing a burkha. Banksy, a Bristolian by nature,...
Read full storyCeltic F.C To Tie Up With Greens?
A sensational story is breaking involving the once mighty Celtic FC. Sources close to Parkhead have revealed that the biscuit tinted club directors - concerned about the humiliating early exit from European competition - have been leaving no stone...
Read full storyJackson Hewitt Sues H&R Block, Calls Ads 'False,' 'Unimaginative.'
Jackson Hewitt Tax Service --the guys who actually have Refund Anticipation Loans, and do not use homeless men dressed up as the Statue of Liberty in their marketing campaign-- has sued soon-to-be-bankrupt H&R Block to stop a new advertising camp...
Read full storyAngelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Say That George Clooney Has Finally Apologized For Calling Their Kids "A Pack of Brats"
NEW ORLEANS - Well it appears that the Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt vs. George Clooney Feud has finally been resolved. George Clooney had referred to the Jolie-Pitt children as a "Pact of Brats" after they had done some damage to his mansion Villa...
Read full storyKate Gosselin Dismisses The Lesbian Rumors As A Plot By Sarah Palin's Tea Bag Party To Discredit Her
READING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin the star of Kate Plus 8 sat in her kitchen and talked with a reporter for Tittle Tattle Tonight. KatGo, as her kids call her, said that ever since she first appeared on television with her Korean ex-husband on...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus To 'Bare It All' In An Upcoming Episode of "Glee"
HOLLYWOOD - Teen queen Miley Cyrus, of Hannah Montana fame, has decided to follow in the footsteps of Britney Spears, Ke$ha, and Gwyneth Paltrow and appear on the popular prime time 'dramedy' Glee. Cyrus has stated that she is a big fan of the sho...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Steals Christina Aguilera's Super Bowl Anthem Lyrics
This year's X Factor semifinals featured Britney Spears vs. Christina Aguilera and Lindsay Lohan vs. Hillary Duff. Christina Aguilera defeated Britney Spears handily when she tricked Britney into shaving her head while drinking and driving holdin...
Read full story'Post-coital heart attack suspected' sobs Gary Moore girlfriend
Estepona, Spain - (Big Bang Theories): A lovely blond, suntanned young lady is in shock today amid fears a heady cocktail of champagne and love-making did it for Thin Lizzy guitarist Gary Moore. The couple had been enjoying a winter break in South...
Read full storyTaylor Lautner Caught Ogling Lady Gaga's Crotch Region
GREEN RIVER, Wyoming - Lady Gaga performed to her 97th straight sold-out crowd. This time she was at The Cowboy Britches Auditorium in the state of Wyoming home of free roaming buffaloes, dysfunctional black bears, and confused flamingos. The Gree...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Angrily Denies That Her and Boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal Were Out Shopping For A Baby Stroller
NASHVILLE - The roller coaster romance between the "Sweetheart of Country Music" Taylor Swift and the man who starred in Brokeback Mountain Jake Gyllenhaal seems to be rolling right along. The two have certainly had their ups and downs but nothing...
Read full storyWoman Plumber in Market for New Low Riders
Apprentice plumber Brianna Chidders of Dexter Plumbing & Heating in Des Moines has outgrown her well-worn work jeans and is now in the market for a new pair. "I've been wearing the same pair for more than a year and It's getting to where I just c...
Read full storyKate Gosselin and Billy Ray Cyrus Caught In A Scandalous Snuggle At A Barbecue Bar & Grill In Shreveport
SHREVEPORT, Louisiana - One of the most famous mothers in The Land of The Free and The Home of The Brave, Kate Gosselin and Billy Ray Cyrus the father of one of the most famous teenagers in the history of teenagers, (Miley Cyrus) were recently spotte...
Read full storyChelsea Party Spoiled by Liverpool - Hilarious Says Expert
On the day when Chelsea looked to rub Liverpool's nose in it, the Merseysiders grabbed all three points in West London. Having nabbed the Scousers' star striker Fernando Torres as the January transfer window closed last week, the West London blues...
Read full storyO'Reilly and Obama Agree that Glenn Beck is Nuts
President Obama sat down with Fox News Show host Bill O'Reilly in a rare and candid interview that touched on everything from the unrest in Egypt and how it should be handled, the economy and how to achieve a more stable union, and Obama's thoughts o...
Read full storyKate Gosselin Suing Sarah Palin Claiming Her Recent Alaskan Camping Trip Left Her Extremely Traumatized
READING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin star of Kate Plus 8, and formerly of Jon and Kate Plus 8 has confided to Tittle Tattle Tonight that because of her horrible Alaskan camping trip experience she finds that she has become extremely traumatized.
Read full storyMegan Fox in Thong May Save the U.S. Dollar!
News out of Hollywood and Washington is that a new dollar bill that will feature sexy actress Megan Fox will replace the one with George Washington until the United States debt can be paid. "With the US dollar getting lower by the day and the US g...
Read full storyMan Commits Suicide After Watching Dakota Fanning - Kristen Stewart Bomb
A New Jersey may was found hung in his home this evening, and police say it might have been caused by a huge wave of depression caused by the Dakota Fanning / Krtistin Stewart cinematic emetic "The Runaways." "The deceased was found dead of asphyxiation," said Keyport, NJ Police Chief George Casaletto. "It also appears that he poked his own eyes out sometime before his death." While the dece...
Read full storyStedman Graham Breaks Up With Oprah Winfrey Shocking The Talk Show Queen And Her BFF Gayle King
CHICAGO - Stedman Graham and Oprah Winfrey have been together for over twenty years. The public relations executive first proposed to Winfrey back in 1992, 18 years ago. Since then he has been asked roughly 5,000 times when he and Miss O are going...
Read full storyMedical Marijuana to be Grown in White House Garden this Year
It is the first week of February, and for Michelle Obama, this means it is time to start planning the White House organic garden. While the garden will again contain a variety of fruits and vegetables as well as a few ornamental flowers, a new additi...
Read full storyCosmetic Surgery: Not always a pretty fact to face!
The order made by Libya's Colonel Muammar Al-Gaddafi - to cut off all electricity power to the major cities - has failed to stem the anger of the people. Though the action has removed their access to the internet it was nevertheless taken too lat...
Read full storyInternet gaming replaces HIV as No. 1 killer of young males!
After the recent death of a Chinese man who had "gamed" himself to death after a three day session without food or drink it seems that internet gaming has replaced HIV as the world's most upcoming serious serial killer of young males, especially in A...
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