Jackson Hewitt Sues H&R Block, Calls Ads 'False,' 'Unimaginative.'

Written by anthonyrosania

Saturday, 12 February 2011


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Jackson Hewitt Sues H&R Block, Calls Ads 'False,' 'Unimaginative.'

Jackson Hewitt Tax Service --the guys who actually have Refund Anticipation Loans, and do not use homeless men dressed up as the Statue of Liberty in their marketing campaign-- has sued soon-to-be-bankrupt H&R Block to stop a new advertising campaign that it said misleads customers about tax refund loans, using stuffed animals to demolish buildings, and disparages Jackson Hewitt's competence.

The suit comes during what H&R Block calls First-Peak --the period from late January to mid-February where most of Block's clients choose not to pay $550.00 for a 1040A, and take their tax documents to their competitors-- a crucial period for the largest U.S. tax preparation companies because the February-to-April quarter accounts for roughly three-fifths of annual revenue and much of their profit.

An H&R Block spokeswoman said: "This lawsuit was filed without any requests for substantiation. H&R Block stands behind our advertisements and will vigorously defend our claims, unless it'll cost money. Because *opens corporate checkbook* this f--ker is almost empty."

Jackson Hewitt's lawsuit relates to "refund anticipation loans" -- usury-rate short-term loans secured by taxpayers' expected tax refunds. Such loans carry ridiculously high fees, are popular among lower-income taxpayers, and H&R Block ain't got 'em. (Jackson Hewitt reminds everyone that, unlike Block, it offers taxpayers access to as much as $1,500 within one day.)

According to the complaint filed in Manhattan federal court, H&R Block falsely claimed that its "Second Look / Can We Charge You For Someone Else's Work Review" program, which reviews past tax returns prepared by rivals, found that two-thirds of returns prepared by Jackson Hewitt contained mistakes.

"H&R Block's 2 out of 3 claim necessarily implies the false claim that two out of three Jackson Hewitt customers who are entitled to refunds have been short-changed due to Jackson Hewitt errors or incompetence," the complaint said.

Jackson Hewitt also said H&R Block gives its agents a script designed to deceive them about its loan service.*

Saying the campaign is causing "irreparable harm," Jackson Hewitt is seeking to halt the alleged improper advertising. It is also seeking compensatory and punitive damages.

"Bullsh-t," said H&R Block CEO Alan Bennett, who's sent in a record 13,454 applications for next season's The Apprentice, stating it is because he's 'sure (he) won't have a job by then.'

"Second Looks give us the opportunity to charge new clients $39.00 to take a look at someone else's work," Bennett said. "Bring in your tax form, we look at it, say, 'yup, that's a tax return,' and, POW, your hard-earned 40 bucks gets deposited in the Alan Bennett Severance Fund."

"Mazel tov, middle-class taxpayers!"

"And if we lose the suit," concluded Bennett, "we'll pay him in H&R Block stock options. HA! Those are nearly worthless."

*This is absolutely true.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more