Rihanna releases pop song to publicise her latest porn video

Funny story written by Roy Turse

Wednesday, 9 February 2011

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Raunchy Rihanna has released a song called 'S&M' which she hopes will help to catapult her video of the same name into the British porn charts. And she has criticised the BBC for 're-naming' the song 'Come on' rather than using the original title when playing an edited version of it during the day.

Rihanna said yesterday: "This is a blatant attempt by the BBC to suppress my film by disassociating it from the song. How dare they change the name of my song? How would they like it if I started referring to them as the CCB?"

She went on to say that although she was becoming well known for her singing, she was really an actress at heart. She welcomed the teen-female attention that her music attracted, but she hoped her videos would continue to appeal to her primary fan-base of teenage boys and middle-aged men.

"It's all about imagination," she said, "With my videos you don't need any."

We contacted the music press for their viewpoint on Rihanna's latest song.

Poptart magazine told us: "What's wrong with a song called Sadomasochism about whips and chains, aimed at a pre-teen pop audience? We can't protect them from deviant sexual behaviour for ever."

MNE said the only thing S&M about the song was its infuriating repetitive sound. "Musically, it's like a dumbed-down Willow Smith. We think it is fair to say Rihanna, her record company and the radio stations are the Ss and the public are the Ms."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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