My husband's Jewish - but not so orthodox that we have hole-in-the-sheet sex says Sally Bercow

Written by queen mudder

Saturday, 5 February 2011

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Next week the paper's running a Ku Klux Klan version of the same story.....(not really!)

London - (Reuterus): That notorious bedsheet caper may come to haunt the Speaker Bercows amid reports a 'large aperture' was airbrushed from newspaper pics.

"The mere idea of slashed-sheet intercourse is itself a gross phallacy," an irate Golders Green rabbi said, defending the couple.

"Probably dreamt up by nutters after those 1960s turf wars in the split-crotch panty manufacturing industry!"

London photographic studio staff said today the Sally Bercow's Bedroom Secrets photo shoot used only responsibly sourced/fair trade/organic/kosher 600-thread cotton sheeting.

"Actually, we begged Sally to drape herself in something altogether more diaphanous," the head of studio airbrushing explained to reporters.

"But with three kids and all those stretchmarks can you really blame her?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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