There were 1,322 spoof news stories published in March 2011. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Manchester United's Nani Invents Leg Injury To Save Getting Shouted At During Half Time
Manchester United's Nani was taken off just before half time during the drubbing they were getting from arch-rivals Liverpool. In a fantastic display that the Oscar judges would have been proud of, Nani dropped to the floor after a soft challenge...Read full story
Alex Pettyfer Explains Why He Will Not Remove His Ex-Girlfriend Emma Robert's Tattoo From His Right Wrist
UPPER TOOTING, England - Alex Pettyfer, a young English actor who first gained world wide acclaim when he appeared in the spy thriller Stormbreaker, was seen visiting one of his high school chums Harold Blenkinsopp who resides in Upper Tooting. Alex was spotted by a reporter for The Bees Knees News Agency Birmingham Cribworthy and asked about his relationship with American actress Dianna Agron.Read full story
Selena Gomez Denies That She And Justin Bieber Are Secretly Married
SAN FRANCISCO - Selena Gomez and her 'official' boyfriend Justin Bieber were in the city that is home to the World Champion baseball San Francisco Giants. They were seen having a garden variety pizza on Fisherman's Wharf. A reporter for Tittle Tat...Read full story
Alice Roberts Naked In Evolution Documentary?
Hopes are running high that top thinking-man's totty Alice Roberts will finally get her kit off on TV tonight. In her latest documentary, BBC2's Horizon: Are We Still Evolving? the anatomist, author and broadcaster asks if the human body has finis...Read full story
Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez To Appear In An Episode of The Vampire Diaries Entitled "The Attack of The Vampire Sock Puppets"
HOLLYWOOD - After spending three months at The Henry and Betty Ford Rehab Clinic Demi Lovato let her business manager know that she was ready to get back into the swing of things. The talented singer has stated in the past that she would like to a...Read full story
Lindsay Lohan Wishes She Had Her Virginity Back
NEW YORK, NY - In a tearful, candid moment with Barbara Walters last evening, Lindsay Lohan revealed to her and to the world that she has come to regret losing her virginity so early in life. "I believe my life would be much different now had I no...Read full story
HAARP caused Japan earthquake and now Moon to be closer than ever
Government sources have acknowledged that the HAARP project, based in Alaska, was the source behind Japan's deadly earthquake which triggered a tsunami. But that is not the only thing that's worrying Japan right now. As it seems, tonight the Moon wil...Read full story
Mom Sues Preschool for Hindering Kid's Ivy League Chances; Others Follow Suit
That's suit as in lawsuit. And attorneys couldn't be happier. When a NY mom determined that her daughter's preschool was not providing the proper foundation for an Ivy League education, she decided to sue the preschool. The floodgates opened.Read full story
Alex Pettyfer: Taylor Lautner Did Not Steal Dianna Agron From Me
British actor Alex Pettyfer says that he is not concerned with actor Taylor Lautner stealing his girlfriend. This was after Lautner and Dianna Agron were seen at a restaurant together in Pittsburgh. Lautner was there several months ago to work on...Read full story
American Idol's Lauren Alaina, 16, Does Not Appreciate The Comment That She's A Cross Between Carrie Underwood and Kelly Clarkson
HOLLYWOOD - One of the youngest performers to ever appear on American Idol has a fairly good chance of making it into the finals. Rossville, Georgia native Lauren Alaina, who just recently turned 16, is being touted as one of the ones to beat. She...Read full story
"Twilight" Stars Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart's Horrible Experience Down In Tijuana, Mexico
TIJUANA, Mexico - The stars of the Twilight series Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were spotted by members of Mexico's paparazzi playing video games at The Chips & Queso Video Arcade in downtown Tijuana. The two American celebrities had gone down to Mexico to do a little shopping and to relax. They hired two off-duty members of the Tijuana Police Department to act as their bodyguards.Read full story
Bollywood's Aishwarya Rai Outraged At Madonna's Arrogant Remarks About India
BOMBAY - One of Bollywood's most respected actresses, Aishwarya Rai, has stated that she does not appreciate the recent remarks that the former singer known as Madonna made about her home country of India. Madonna, told the supermarket tabloid, Ju...Read full story
Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart Horrified As Emma Watson And Taylor Lautner Almost Accidentally Kill Miley Cyrus's Pet Goldfish In Potentially Horrendous Deckchair Mishap
The latest development in a sensational type Daily Male news non-story has Twilight stars and alleged sweethearts Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart looking on in horror as a skylarking Harry Potter star, Emma Watson, and Twilight werewolf Taylor L...Read full story
Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder's Titillating Tryst In Tarzana Is Exposed
TARZANA, California - Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder, the stars of The Vampire Diaries, are fast becoming the most popular couple since Heather Locklear and Richie Sambora, up until Sambora started acting like he was the illegitimate son of Mick Jag...Read full story
The Reason Derek Hough and Julianne Hough Are Not Participating In This Year's "Dancing With The Stars"
HOLLYWOOD - The twelfth season of Dancing With The Stars has kicked off and all the front line regulars are back. Tom "The Quick Wit" Bergeron is back as is his co-host Brooke "You All Know I'm Sexy" Burke. And sitting at the judges table are...Read full story
Ten Commandments have at last been updated
The town of Devil's Advocate in Cornwall was the venue for the log-awaited re-launch of the Ten Commandments. At the press reception held in the Heaven and Hell Bar to make the announcement, the Permanent Secretary of CUC (Commandments Updating Committee), Mr G. Odd, set out the government's timetable for the proposed changeover in all houses of worship throughout the land. Launching the upd...Read full story
Inquiry; Lady Gaga replied she's going to run for President
I got some emails from whom I believe is either Lady Gaga or her producers encouraging the idea that she is going to announce her candidacy for President on 11/11/11. I can't prove that's who the emails are from but whoever sent them is relating information about her new video Born This Way that it would seem only her inner circle would know about. My impression is that they want to build this int...Read full story
Kate Middleton Says The "Nude" Photos of Her Are Not Really Her - Prince William Agrees
LONDON - A group of photos which have been making the rounds lately proporting to be of Kate Middleton are fake according to the woman who should know, Kate Middleton. Middleton said that she first learned of the photos when she received a text message from her future grandmother-in-law Elizabeth. Kate was so shocked to see the word "Nude" on her cell phone screen that she dropped the phone...Read full story
Kate Middleton Feud With Princess Anne
Kate Middleton has found that she will be marrying into the family from hell. Her prospective aunt-in-law Princess Anne has given Kate the cold shoulder and has refused to meet her. Blue blood Princess Anne does not consider Kate Middleton suitable for marrying into 'the firm'. She has looked down her snooty nose at Kate and does not see what William sees in her. Aunt Anne has painstakingl...Read full story
Brian Cox And 'The Wonders Of The Universe:' Too Loud Man?
BBC bosses will be on tenterhooks tonight, waiting for the public's reaction to their re-edited version of Prof Brian Cox's Wonders of the Universe. They have adjusted the show to tone down the sound after complaints from viewers said the music an...Read full story
Jennifer Aniston on Why She Hates Angelina Jolie
LOS ANGELES CALIFORNIA - Although the former F.R.I.E.N.D.S actor doesn't like to come to terms with her loss of super star hunk Brad Pitt, she's finally decided to let the cat out of the bag and responded to my request for a phone interview Saturday morning. Jennifer claims that the reason Brad dumped her for Angelina was because Angelina like Brad is a devil worshipper and while that's complet...Read full story
Jon Cryer Moves in with Charlie Sheen
Newly divorced and jobless, Jon Cryer has rented a U-Haul and begun the process of moving in with Charlie Sheen and the goddesses. Asked if he wasn't happily married just last week when we interviewed him, Cryer replied, "Well, yeah, yeah I guess...Read full story
Michael Jackson's Three Kids, Paris, Prince, and Blanket Star In Glove and Sock Commercials
HOLLYWOOD - Janet Jackson has announced that her niece Paris, and her two nephews Prince and Blanket have just finished shooting commercials for Handy Gloves and Rock Socks. The children of Michael Jackson are all very talented and will soon be ap...Read full story
Revealed: What McCoist said to Lennon
The whole shocking truth about what Coisty said to Lennon has been revealed by a totally neutral fan who was standing close by. The fan revealed that Coisty shook Lennon's hand and then whispered in his ear. "We know about the Giant Penguin."...Read full story
Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato Both Agree On Who American Idol's "Top Three" Will Be
HOLLWOOD - Many television critics are saying that this season of American Idol has far more than the usual share of fairly good, talented performers. The national publication USA Sunup has stated that they feel that Casey Abrams, the singer with...Read full story
Kate Gosselin Agrees To Appear On "The Vampire Diaries"
READING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin who is still depressed after her personal bodyguard Steve "The Gray Fox" Nield quit has said that she has been approached to appear on the hit cable show The Vampire Diaries. Gosselin, who stars in Kate Plus 8...Read full story
Charlie Sheen and Goddesses Mud Wrestling Video Breaks YouTube Record
Charlie Sheen is out to show CBS and anyone else who may have doubted his ability to make money that he is closest to becoming God than anyone on earth, even while his life seems to be falling to pieces. In case no one has yet noticed, Sheen is t...Read full story
Woman Fails Driving Theory Test 90 Times
A South London woman has failed her driving theory test 90 times at a cost of £2,790. Now, even if she manages to pass the test, no examiner can be found to take her for her practical. The Driving Standards Agency disclosed details of the 26-ye...Read full story
Manchester United's Nani 'Delighted' With Liverpool Assist
Manchester United's winger, Nani, has broken Sir Alex Ferguson's media gag, and spoken of his delight with the assist he made on Liverpool's second goal, during their 3-1 defeat against the Merseyside warriors. Nani, who spoke to us through the gr...Read full story
Manchester United's Chicharito Goes Fishing Up In Wales and Returns With A 70-Pound Goldfish
MANCHESTER - It has not been a good week for the Red Devils of Manchester United as Sir Alex Ferguson's team lost to rivals Chelsea and Liverpool. The team from Manchester managed to score only one goal in each of the two games. One of the sta...Read full story
Frank Lampard to have a sex change operation
Chelsea midfielder, Frank Lampard has admitted that he is nearing the end of his career in the beautiful game. Unfortunately, being the dullest object on the planet, so dull he occasionally vanishes during matches, he would only be eligible for a Mat...Read full story
Manchester United's Chicharito Says His Stick Figure Drawings of Prince William and Kate Middleton Are Selling Like Crazy
MANCHESTER - One thing that even the most die-hard fans of Chicharito did not know until only recently is that the Manchester United star, from Mexico is a fantastic stick-figure artist. Javier Hernandez Balcazar's mom stated to Mexico's Las Mara...Read full story
Brad Pitt Makes An Astounding Revelation and Says That His Gifts From Wife Angelina Jolie Have All Been Homemade
NEW ORLEANS - Brad Pitt is in the city they call the "Big Easy" working on the latest installment of the Indiana Jones series of motion pictures entitled Indiana Jones - The Search For The Alternative Lifestyle. The film is based on the book of th...Read full story
Spielberg & Lucas Team Up for Star Wars VII
Putting more than five years of rumors and speculation to rest, George Lucas and Steven Spielberg announced yesterday that production of the seventh part of the Star Wars series had already begun filming at a secret location in the Swiss Alps. Tenta...Read full story
Kim Kardashian Caught "Sexting" Her New Boyfriend New Jersey Nets Kris Humphries
NEW YORK CITY - Well it did not take Kim Kardashian very long to get over her body guard/boyfriend Shengo who had to dash back to his native Australia due to his visa expiring. An unnamed source said that as Shengo left the hotel where he and Kim...Read full story
American Idol's Haley "Lipstick Girl" Reinhart May Be Doing A Lipstick Commercial
HOLLYWOOD - No matter how far Haley Reinhart goes or does not go on this years edition of American Idol, she will now forever be remembered as "Lipstick Girl." During Reinhart's AI performance she choose a song by Whitney "Hmmm" Houston tilted "I'...Read full story
Simon Cowell May Be Replacing X-Factor Judge Dannii Minogue With His Fiancee Mezhgan Hussainy
LONDON - Since the departure of X-Factor judge Cheryl Cole to America to be with her boyfriend Derek Hough, aka "The Dancing Dude" Simon Cowell has been trying to figure out who to replace Chezza with. And although he has not yet made his final de...Read full story
Elizabeth Taylor to be buried at Glendale 'next to Michael Jackson and Jane Fonda'
Los Angeles - In a plot reserved many years ago Oscar winning diva Ms Taylor will be sandwiched at Glendale Cemetery in between Jackson and the 'because I'm worth it' face cream promoting Ms Fonda. Taylor died early this morning at the Seedy-Sinai...Read full story
Pamela Anderson Explains Why She Is Moving From 'Hard Core Porn Movies' To 'Soft Core Porn Movies'
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Pamela Anderson who has appeared in Playboy Magazine more than any other woman recently sat down with Left Coast Mirror Magazine's Tequila Tallyho and cleared up some things she felt needed clearing up. Pam pointed out that she was born in Canada and not in Laos like so many supermarket tabloids have erroneously reported. She also wanted to set the record straight by saying...Read full story
Bollywood's Aishwarya Rai To Star In The X-Rated Movie, "The X-Rated Life Of Marilyn Monroe"
HOLLYWOOD - One of Bollywood's most famous actresses Aishwarya Rai has agreed to star in Tico Scallavini's film The X-Rated Life of Marilyn Monroe. Rai, who was voted Miss World in 1994, last year appeared with Angelina Jolie in the motion picture...Read full story
Justin Bieber Wants To Buy The Eiffel Tower
MOBILE, Alabama - Justin Bieber performed before his 197th straight sell-out crowd in the Southern Gulf of Mexico port city of Mobile. The standing room only crowd at The Land of Cotton Convention Center broke the official concert decibel record...Read full story
Fern Cotton Famous For Being A Hot DJ
Fern Cotton is currently on the Chris Moyles marathon Comic Relief vigil. She looks really glamorous with her golden tresses. Chris Moyles is starting to look a bit ragged around the edges after broadcasting live for the previous twenty eight hours. Poor Chirs looks like he could do with a wash and brush up. He is sorely in need of a shave and a change of clothes. Fern Cotton is said to have...Read full story
American Idol's Scotty McCreery Addresses The Rumor That He Is The "Love Child" of President George W. Bush
LOS ANGELES - One of the American Idol final eleven contestants has finally decided to come forward and address some rumors that have been floating around for a few weeks now. Scotty McCreery, 17, recently called a press conference and told the me...Read full story
Liam Keeps Beady Eye On Album Sales
Shy and retiring Ex-Oasis singer Liam Gallagher told fans to be patient this week as his new band 'Beady Eye' released their debut album 'Different Gear,Still Speeding' this week. 'The Music Press made a big deal of our first single bombing but what the F**k Do They Know?' said Liam. ' They're a set of W*****s the F*****g lot of 'em. The B*****d B***bags haven't got a clue. I'm the best F*****g...Read full story
Louise Minchin's Hair Stylist Believes She Has A Big "Red Devil" Crush On Manchester United's Chicharito
LONDON - Well it appears that the cat may be out of the bag according to noted London hair stylist Reginald "Frisky" Friskingham. The hairdresser who has done the hair of some of the most famous people in England including Simon Cowell, Prince Har...Read full story
Taylor Lautner: Doing It Wolf Style!
Is the wolf man on the prowl? Twilight Movie star Taylor Lautner has been pulling reporters legs and playing jokes on his friends for as long as he can remember. "You never know what the guy is going to do next or to whom", stated one member of th...Read full story
Heidi Montag And The "Bachelor" Brad Womack Caught "Tongue Fu Diving" At Rob Pattinson's "Twilight" Party
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - The star of the Twilight movies Rob Pattinson recently threw a "Twilight" party for several dozen of his best friends and one of those friends was Heidi Montag. Montag has recently taken somewhat of a bad rap on account of the fa...Read full story
Messenger sends back first Mercury photos
NASA's Mercury Messenger Probe has finally achieved insertion around the planet Mercury, one of the most hostile environments in the solar system. Messenger is one of NASA's usual attempts at an acronym: MErcury Surface, Space ENvironment, GEoche...Read full story
Sendai UFO 'tried to warn Japanese Emperor' about upcoming nuke disaster
Japan - Skywatch websites are citing an official Chinese news agency report that a breakaway craft from a Mount Fuji UFO fleet was prevented from contacting Emperor Akihit-ho last week. Flypast witnesses described the entity as entirely benign ami...Read full story
Coalition to appoint a new Minister for Chaff
The government announced today that a new cabinet post was to be created. They have decided that the creation and promotion of Chaff is a full time role. Chaff is the material that is ejected by military aircraft as a countermeasure when they are...Read full story
Demi Lovato and Wilmer Valderrama Finally Admit That They Have Been Secretly Dating
HOLLYWOOD - Demi Lovato, who spent three months in a rehab clinic, has admitted that the rumor about her and Wilmer Valderrama dating is in fact true. Lovato said that she wanted to hide the fact from her ex-boyfriend Joe Jonas because she was so...Read full story
"You Tube" Parody Song "Winning" Is A Hit For Charlie Sheen
Charlie Sheen fans can see a re-mix of his sound-bites set to a catchy hip hop beat on "You Tube" which has become an overnight sensation. In the spoof song the sound-bites of Sheen are set to the hip-hop tune "Winning" and clips of his interview...Read full story
Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, and Taylor Swift Have Just Completed Filming On Sand Castle Pictures' "Sock Party"
BURBANK - Castle Rock Pictures based in Burbank, California has announced that they have just finished production on the new Durango Grundyweather motion picture set in 1950s Santa Monica titled Sock Party. The film deals with teen girl parties of...Read full story
Elvis Presley Sex Doll Makers Leave Off Penis!
Of all the stupid things that an employee can do...that several former employees can do, to leave the penis off a sex doll is the worst, the boss at Xanadong told his reporters yesterday afternoon according to a still-working employee. Apparently...Read full story
OMG! Elizabeth Taylor's secret illegitimate daughter to contest £750million Will
London - Attorneys acting for Dame Elizabeth's four American children are having none of it, of course. But one of Hollywood's best kept Cold War secrets is likely to out this week about the existence of a suspected older sibling living close to T...Read full story
Victoria Beckham planning to outshine Kate at Royal Wedding
It has been brought to our notice that Victoria Beckham is planning to 'outshine' the bride herself at the upcoming Royal Wedding. Although she has vehemently denied this when asked directly, a reporter of The Spoof was standing behind Victoria as...Read full story
Local Man Distraught Over Yet Another Liverpool Drubbing
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was today reported to be "distraught and humiliated" this afternoon - a full 24 hours after Liverpool drubbed his beloved Man United 3-1 at Anfield. Shuttlecock has been sighted skulking around, trying to kick the cat...Read full story
At last - An Irish Sex Manual!
The first Irish sex instructional manual written by an Irishman has just been launched in Dublin and looks set to be a best seller. Actress Helen Mirren said she was sure it was what the country needed even though she had not yet had a chance to read it. But, she said, "Irish men are the best lovers in the world. They may not say much but they sure as hell know what they want." Written by an e...Read full story
The Lady Gaga-Beyonce Feud Has Erupted Like A Hormone-Crazed Volcano
WEST HOLLYWOOD - The latest feud to come on the scene involves two very popular songstresses. The two women involved include Lady Gaga and Beyonce. And by all accounts it appears that 29-year-old Beyonce fired off the first salvo when she told USA...Read full story
Gaddafi fires 'camel-toed' Amazonian Guards
Benghazi Kazi - A sordid uniform spat saw Muammar Gaddafi fire thirty of his elite virgin female bodyguards today. Their tight-fitting westernised uniforms were driving the Colonel nuts and wreaking havoc with Mrs Gaddafi (Mk#2). In their defen...Read full story
"The View's" Barbara Walters Says Her Dislike of Whoopi Goldberg Is Not Personal - It's Her Hair!
LOS ANGELES - Barbara Walters who is the host and executive producer of the television talk show The View has finally spoken out about her ongoing dislike for fellow panel member Whoopi "The Cushion" Goldberg. Walters said that she has received li...Read full story
Galliano Is Still Making Kate's Dress
John Galliano is still going to make Kate Middleton's Wedding dress. Or at least, that's what she keeps saying. But insiders at Buckingham Palace have admitted that something is seriously wrong with this statement. The statement appears to be...Read full story
Snake bites boob and dies of silicone poisoning!
A lusty snake (RIP), who shall remain nameless, has died after fancying a bit of tit. Unfortunately the tit was not a natural one, it was pumped full of silicone and after attempting to save its life through mouth to mouth, veterinarian surgeons pron...Read full story
Full Outrageous Details of Wayne Rooney Contract Revealed
Wayne Rooney's contract details have been released by a secret source at Manchester United, and they are indeed outrageous. Wayne Rooney has demanded that he be paid One million pounds a game, and he wants to be paid in Italian Lira because Coll...Read full story
Chelsea Clinton-Mezvinsky Warns That Monica Lewinsky Better Stay Away From Her Daddy (President Bill Clinton)
NEW YORK CITY - Chelsea Clinton-Mezvinsky, who is still shaken up by the fact that she has been dumped by her husband Marc Mezvinsky, is extremely upset that Monica Lewinsky is trying to waltz her way back into her father's life. Chelsea told The...Read full story
Charlie Sheen's "Goddesses" Blow Breast Implants During Sex Act
According to an entertainment insider, porn star Rachel Oberlin and model Natalie Kenly simultaneously blew their breast implants while performing a sex act on Charlie Sheen at his Beverly Hills mansion Tuesday. The insider, a friend of Charlie's...Read full story
Chicharito Upset That "Promiscuously Suggestive" Photos of Girlfriend Shakira Have Shown Up On The Internet
MANCHESTER, England - The star footballer with the Manchester United Red Devils, Chicharito is reportedly upset that photos of his girlfriend Shakira dressed in a swimsuit made out of dental floss have appeared on several sites on the Internet. Ch...Read full story
Kristen Stewart & Robert Pattinson to do New Version of "Bonnie & Clyde"!
Hang on Twilight lovers, the last Twilight may finally be played out but it's two co-stars, Kristen Stewart & Robert Pattinson, are said to be looking over the roles of Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow, the 1930 bank robbers made famous in the earl...Read full story
Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, and Demi Lovato Invited To The White House For A St. Patrick's Day Barbecue
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama has personally invited three of the most popular young performers in America to attend a St. Patrick's Day Barbecue to take place on the White House lawn. The president said that he was thrilled and honored to be paying tribute to the fine people of Irish descent by inviting Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, and Demi Lovato to the White House. When the president...Read full story
Oprah Winfrey's Unbelievably Amazing Offer To Queen Elizabeth!
LONDON - Oprah Winfrey the richest woman in the United States was recently invited by Queen Elizabeth to attend a dinner at Buckingham Palace in honor of legendary rhythm and blues artist Smokey Robinson, lead singer with one of Motown's greatest groups Smokey Robinson and The Miracles. The music legend who was born William Robinson, Jr., in Detroit has been performing for 55 years. And in that...Read full story
Simon Cowell Is Touting Chelsea Footballer Ashley Cole To Replace His Ex-Wife Cheryl Cole As A Judge On "X-Factor"
LONDON - Simon Cowell, who Queen Elizabeth II herself has remarked will soon become the richest man in The United Kingdom, has stated who he would like to see replace Cheryl Cole as judge on his highly rated reality show X-Factor. Cowell, the man...Read full story
Too much FIFA can cause severe skin and hair damage!
Sources have recently confirmed that playing too much FIFA can cause long-term facial damage. The game has been proven to cause a disease to form in the skin cells, causing constant dryness and itchiness, in more severe cases- hair and eyebrows have...Read full story
Music World Bombshell - Taylor Swift and Kanye West Write A Song For "Lovebirds" Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez
LOS ANGELES - In a songwriting move that even surprised one of the top songwriting teams in the country Kara DioGuardi and Neil Sedaka, Taylor Swift and Kanye West have collaborated on a song. And according to Bedroom Pillow Talk the song is not just your average run-of-the-mill song it is a song that both Swift and West are dedicating to the newest, happiest, most popular couple in Tinsel Town...Read full story
Hugh Laurie plays Charlie Sheen In Two and a Half Men
Hugh Laurie has played Charlie Parker in an episode of "Two and a Half Men". He tells a police officer that his niece won't be 'caught' shop-lifting again and that she is his favourite tax "write-off". Sheen has made an 'epic' deal and has organi...Read full story
Secret Of Kate Middleton's Royal Wedding Shoes Revealed
Kate Middleton, next in line to be Queen of Hearts, has been causing quite a stir of late with talk of her proposed marriage to Prince William. Rumours abound as to who is designing parts of her planned wedding attire. And fans and pundits alike,...Read full story
Selena Gomez's Boyfriend Justin Bieber Thinking About Changing His Last Name To "Beaver" In Order To Get A Lot More Internet 'Hits'
TARZANA, California - Singing sensation Justin Bieber made a special promotional appearance at The Tarzan and Jane Petting Zoo in Tarzana. He was asked how his relationship with fellow singing sensation and girlfriend Selena Gomez was going. Justin did not miss a beat between signing his first name and last as he gave the reporter for iGossip a quick thumbs up. Taffeta Kixx with iGossip f...Read full story
Never Mind Another Potential War - Demi Lovato Buys A Pork Pie Hat
As Great Britain prepares for military intervention in the Libya crisis, apparently about to send troops and ordnance into the North African state in order to reestablish harmony and stability - PM David "Do Nothing Dave" Cameron has attempted to all...Read full story
In A Shocking Development Heidi Montag's Wax Museum Figure Is Found To Be 80 Percent Plastic!
LONDON - The curator for London's premier Wax Museum has just issued a press release regarding their latest wax figure. Tickety Boo News has reported the shocking story that the wax figure of American reality show participant Heidi Montag, unlike...Read full story
"The Bachelor" Brad Womack And Christina Aguilera Caught 'Tongue Wrestling' In Tarzana
TARZANA, California - Brad Womack the man on this season's edition of The Bachelor, was embarrassed before a viewing audience of 30 million when the woman he picked to propose to ended up telling him on live television that although she kind of liked...Read full story
Christina Aguilera Coy About Nude Photos
Pop diva Christina Aguilera has been coy when asked about what was on her 'memory card' which she left in a Paris hotel room. Apparently the feisty beauty had taken some candid camera shots of her and her man getting frisky. The pair frolicked an...Read full story
Charlie Sheen Agrees To Star In A New Reality Show Titled, "Help I'm A Bi-Polar Celebrity...Get Me and Me Out Of Here!"
SHERMAN OAKS - Charlie Sheen had just finished shooting his latest edition of his Internet show titled Sheen's Korner when he took time out to speak with a reporter for The Tinsel Town Times Tribune. Sheen asked Cashew Vixenheimer if she wanted a glass of Tiger Blood. She respectfully informed him that she had just had a 16 ounce bottle of Diet Pepsi on the way to his mansion. Cashew asked S...Read full story
Miley Cyrus is taken from behind
The singer Miley Cyrus, best know for her song "Billy Ray is my dad", was today humiliated in public on a visit to London when a man in a suit unashamedly took her from behind as she waited in a long queue outside the Nintendo shop. The man, dress...Read full story
Cheryl Cole Is Very Angry At Her Ex-Husband Ashley Cole's "Air Gun" Incident
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Cheryl Cole spoke with a reporter for USA DAYBREAK from the swimming pool of her boyfriend Derek Hough's Hollywood Hills mansion, Casa Cha Cha Cha. She remarked that she is quite upset at the recent incident that her ex-husband...Read full story
David Beckham's Glory tattoo
David Beckham has revealed a heavenly new tattoo - an image of himself portrayed as Jesus. The 35-year-old footballer has deified himself in ink, surrounded by three cherubs that represent his own sons Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz. Beckham unveiled t...Read full story
Charlie Sheen Has Agreed To Appear On "The Vampire Diaries"
LOS ANGELES - Charlie Sheen, aka "The Man Without A Show" has just agreed to appear on an upcoming episode of the very popular TV series The Vampire Diaries. The shows producer Manolo Middlezuck confirmed that he met with Sheen at a Tacos, Tacos,...Read full story
Medical Marijuana Dispensaries Swamped as California Prepares for Tsunami!
Lines formed around the block in San Francisco at the city's marijuana distribution points as citizens prepared for emergency conditions following an 8.9 earthquake in Japan and a Tsunami warning extending from the California coast up to Washington...Read full story
Kelly Clarkson Says That American Idol's Lauren "Peaches" Alaina Needs To Stop Dressing Like A Backwoods Hillbilly
HOLLYWOOD - The very first winner of American Idol, Kelly Clarkson has told AI host Ryan Seacrest that he needs to tell his fellow Georgia peach that she needs to stop dressing like a backwoods hillbilly. Clarkson said that she came very close to...Read full story
Justin Bieber 'Cleaners' Security Alert 'Not Unusual'
When two girls tricked their way into Justin Bieber's Liverpool hotel suite on Friday, it was just the latest gaffe by the teen heart-throb's security team. The girls dressed as cleaners to get into the suite. After half-heartedly dusting surfaces...Read full story
Michael Nesmith Explains Why He Won't Be Accompanying The Monkees On Their Concert Tour of England
LOS ANGELES - The second oldest member of the Monkees has explained why he will not be accompanying his fellow band mates on their concert tour of England. Michael "Wool Hat" Nesmith, 68, said that he just flat out does not like the other three members of the Monkees band. He said that Mickey (Dolenz), 65; Davy (Jones), 65; and Peter (Tork), 69; never liked the fact that he was the only true mu...Read full story
Prince Philip caught trying on Kate Middleton's wedding dress
Greek xenophobe Phil "Duke of Edinburgh" Windsor has been caught trying on Kate Middleton's wedding dress by a maid at Windsor Castle. Tillie Mint entered the private chambers of the Queen and Prince yesterday to find Prince Philip parading around...Read full story
Tabak Fears Attack In Jail
Vincent Tabak is in fear for his life in HMP Belmarsh after turning supergrass to prison governor.Tabak has 'dobbed' on the Cockney gang boss Archie Lamb who has been ruling over lags in the jail. The Dutch man who is in prison after being charged...Read full story
Harry Redknapp In Schedule Blooper
In breaking sports headlines, it has just been announced that Tottenham Hotspur manager Harry Redknapp will not be making a media appearance of any kind this coming Tuesday. Harry, 39, from Bristol, has made either a radio or television interview...Read full story
Demi Lovato Explains The Truth Behind Her Two Brand New Wrist Tattoos
VENICE BEACH - Demi Lovato, the Disney darling showed off her latest ink art as she sunbathed by herself at Venice Beach. Lovato showed reporters for Tittle Tattle Tonight and Bedroom Pillow Talk that she had two brand new tattoos on each of her w...Read full story
Balotelli In Training Ground Incident
Troubled Man City star Mario Balotelli has been involved in another incident with the club. Its emerged that, only days after being sent off in the Champions League tie against Dynamo Kiev, the striker is alleged to have thrown a dart at a youth p...Read full story
Queen Elizabeth to visit Stephen Ireland
The Queen is to pay a state visit to Stephen Ireland - the first official visit to a footballers house by a British monarch. Buckingham Palace said in a statement: "The Queen has been pleased to accept an invitation from Newcastle United manager A...Read full story
Michaele Salahi Snorts Heroin to Get Back on Celebrity Rehab
Michaele Salahi was recently kicked off the reality show Celebrity Rehab due to the fact that she couldn't produce a discernable addiction. Now, her husband Tareq has threatened to sue if they don't take her back. The Salahis claim that Michaele...Read full story
Selena Gomez Gives Justin Bieber A "Passionate Birthday Kiss" He Will Never Forget
DANA POINT, California - It is finally officially official Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are in fact a couple. After much speculation that the two were merely friends, young Bieber who was celebrating his 17th birthday, did state for the record that...Read full story
Borat-style mankini streaker heads for Everton v Birmingham clash!
Dorset - Fresh from a Dorchester Town pitch drubbing Alan Young's gnatspiss-green thong may get a second airing at Goodison Park tonight. The Havant & Waterlooville fan's Borat-style mankini premiered at Monday's Blue Square Bet South clash.Read full story
Great White Sharks Ride Tsunami Up Colorado River; Eat 14 Illegals Outside of Yuma!
The Tsunami that hit California brought with it several unintended consequences as Marine Border Patrol reports are coming in of Great White Sharks having surfed their way up the Colorado River snacking on several illegal immigrants attempting to flo...Read full story
Celtic's Lennon Facing 3 Year Ban
Glasgow Celtic's manager Neil Lennon is facing a 146 game ban under a controversial new disciplinary procedure introduced by the SFA. The Irishman has just reluctantly accepted a revised 4 game ban for an offence committed earlier on this season,...Read full story
Aston Villa's Ashley Young Gladly Accepts Queen Elizabeth's Invitation To Attend Prince William and Kate Middleton's Wedding
BIRMINGHAM, England - Twenty-five-year-old football star Ashley Young has just received the thrill of his young life. He recently received a personal invitation from Queen Elizabeth II, to attend her grandson Prince William's wedding to Kate Middl...Read full story