Bab al-Azizia, Libya - Mrs Fatima Cheryl Cole Gaddafi has vented her fury at the decrepit old bastard who's fired rockets at the Libyan people.
"He's not the Leader of the Revolution, he's a very naughty senile old fart!" Mrs Gaddafi said today.
"As for his colostomy bag-toting KGB floozy, she can damn well go irrigate some other bastard's Suez Canal."
Colonic irrigation may well be part of the plot that sees Mrs G's wrath aimed at Galyna Kolotnytska.
The 38-24-34 Kiev-born ex-stripper turned psychic consultant - er...state registered nurse - ministers to every one of the Colonel's needs.
Her actual job specification is to administer precise daily doses of a snake venom that is curing the Glorious Leader's wee little problem.
"Hah! Delivered not by injection but by bloody Russian whore's nipple, forgodssakes," Mrs G screamed.
Ms Kolotnytska rejects all impropriety and vehemently denies frying Old Muammar's brain.
As for those accusations of oxygen deprivation Galyna says no man ever got lost in between a woman's (massive) breasts unless he really, truly wanted to.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is 104.
