Aguilera Double Whammy

Christina Aguilera broke two records earlier today at the Superbowl final between Oxford and Cambridge at The J.R. Ewing Arena,Texas.Not only was her version of 'Star Spangled Banner' the worst version of the famous ballad ever,complete with wrong words as well, it was also the longest version ever, clocking in at 17 minutes and 32 seconds.The start of Superbowl was delayed by over twenty minutes as she warbled on.
Even Stephen Hawking,who has a very distinctive singing voice can sing that song in under five minutes.Not only that, some of the notes she hit during her rendition were that high and out of tune that over a hundred people called the network to complain their dog had fainted under the strain.
All in all,it wasn't a good day for the so-called Superstar Christina who also broke two nails,laddered her tights and lost her mobile phone cover.
Speaking to a sea of reporters pitchside,the singer of such hits as 'Pappa Don't Preach' and 'Holiday' said ' I've had better days.'