Spoof Writers Wife Appointed Czar For Decency
Mrs Skoob, wife of TheSpoof.com contributor Skoob1999 has been summoned by the Obama administration to be Czar for decency. When we asked her about this, she told us: "Fuck it." When we told her that this was an important role in internation...
Read full storyBonkettes Blow The Pope In Rome.
La Bella Roma, The Eternal City, The Colosseum. That 2000 year old Roman amphitheatre, model for every modern stadium we see today. And The Bonkettes. In the most amazing concert ever witnessed, the lights went down, and then from beneath the aren...
Read full storyEmma Watson vies for the coveted Milano
Hollywood, California - Emma Watson is making a serious bid for the much sought Milano award this year. The Milano is given out each year to the television star that is regarded as most able to inspire masturbation in males of all ages. Past winn...
Read full storyCameron Announces All-Muslim Short Lists
Conservative Party leader David Cameron has announced that at the next General Election all Conservative candidates will be Muslims. Speaking at a press conference Cameron, sporting a beard and dressed like Lawrence of Arabia, said "If we really are...
Read full storyGod's Banker still haunts the Queen's vagina
London - (Ass Mess): "So deep and cavernous that Lord Lucan and Shergar both got sucked in, vanishing without a trace," royal biographer Sir Archie Gusset said at a public inquiry into 'The Disappeared' today. Earlier the panel had heard how an 18...
Read full storyMore Hot Air for Broadway
NEW YORK, NY - In a master-stroke of predatory marketing, Broadway's Nederlander Organization today announced that Colorado's Balloon Boy, Falcon Heene, and Donald, the Bubble Boy from "Seinfeld," will join forces and star in a new musical, "Le Camp...
Read full storyBenitez Sacked By Liverpool, Beach Ball To Take Coaching Position
Rafa Benitez has been sacked as manager of Liverpool FC following yet another defeat. The board took their decision immediately after the defeat by Lyon in the Champions League. Sammy Lee, Benitez's assistant is to take charge of first team affairs w...
Read full storyLiverpool Mauled By Lyon
Liverpool 1 Lyon 2: Mauled by a Lyon - It's probably fair to say that Liverpool underestimated their opponents tonight, succumbing to a stoppage time goal. Rafa Benitez looked nervous from the start, heightening speculation that he's on his way ou...
Read full storyBNP to Hold Multiculturalism Conference
The British National Party are to hold an open conference to discuss race and immigration in modern Britain, it was announced today. The conference, titled 'A Final Solution to Multiculturalism' aims to investigate the truth behind immigration sta...
Read full storyPublic incensed by unfair voting on TV quiz, QI
Fiendishly funny television quiz show QI's dyed in the wool luvie presenter, Stephen Fry, and the programmes production company ,Talkback Thames, have been accused of manipulating the show's scores to suit its own humerous ends. Viewers have been...
Read full storyNatives of Niger Upset at "N-Word" Mis-spellings
Niger is a landlocked country in Northern Africa that has been independent from the French since 1960. The country is not Nigeria and the natives are not referred to as Nigerians. As such, they are called Nigers and are upset that they are being com...
Read full storyUnderwater Stonehenge found by Pavlopetri oceanographers
Southern Peloponnese - (Fishy Tales): A vast submerged circular marble megaron resembling the Stonehenge sarsen stone formation has been discovered at the bottom of the sea near Elafonissos Island. Oceanograhers say it looks like a 10,000 year-old...
Read full storyStephen Gately Death - Not Normal
Reports are coming in that Boyzone singer Stephen Gately's death was 'not normal.' Emerging news reveals that a Bulgarian student, Georgi Dochev, 25, who was at the star's house the night he died, has fled to the mountains rather than face questio...
Read full storyOntario ends the world
For hundreds of years prophets have predicted the end of the world sometime after 1994. In recent years this has been expected to occur more accurately around 2150 due to the latest translations of ancient scriptures and that we're still here in 2009...
Read full storyAC/DC frontman Brian Johnson to join Boyzone
Rumour has it that boyband 'Boyzone' are to approach flat cap obsessive AC/DC singer Brian Johnson with a view to him replacing recently deceased singer Stephen Gately in the band's line-up. A spokesman for Boyzone said that 62 year old rocker, Jo...
Read full storyBNP reintroduces Spitfires to shoot down their opponents, only problem is there are no pilots left to fly them!
"We at the BNP will use all possible methods to win the election even if it means reintroducing the Spitfires" screamed Nick Griffin in good old Jackboot style and was promptly marched off of the stage at a recent BNP party conference! Members of...
Read full storyDavros To Replace Stephen Hawking.
Cambridge University has announced the name of the man who is going to replace Stephen Hawking. Professor Hawking has just retired as Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at Cambridge University. The post was once held by Isaac Newton. Now the post h...
Read full storyJim Zorn Gives Washinton Redskin Play Calling Duties to Sherman Lewis
Two weeks ago, Sherman Lewis was enjoying his retirement and playing bingo at a senior citizen's center. Next Sunday, he'll call the plays for the Washington Redskins. Head Coach Jim Zorn announced that "Mr. Snyder, our owner, feels that someone el...
Read full storyJamie Carragher Axed By Benitez
Jamie Carragher has been dropped from the Liverpool first team squad. This follows his total failure to mark a big red beech ball out of the game on Saturday. Benitez said "He's a fucking useless bastard. All he had to do was take up a position ne...
Read full storyLiverpool FC Facing Nightmare Scenario
Perhaps Liverpool Football Club's woes have been a little exaggerated of late, with the Hicks/Gillet saga and speculation over Rafa Benitez's tenure at the club rife. But Liverpool face a potentially traumatic, make or break week. Tonight they fac...
Read full storyBeach Ball Found Living In Ipswich
The Stadium of Light Beach Ball has been traced to an address in Ipswich. Peter Lardybutt was unrepentant today when we called at his house. "Yes, I'm a great big fat fuck, but I don't care. For years I've been shut indoors, too big to get out the do...
Read full storyRepublicans to Build Wailing Wall on DC Mall
In a joint news conference today, Senator Mitch McConnell, Congressman John Boehner, and RNC Chairman Michael Steele announced that they were petitioning Congress to build a Wailing Wall on the DC Mall. "It is time for REAL Americans to have a plac...
Read full storyJenson Button Chomping At The Bit For A Spot Of Nooky
Formula One World Champion, Jenson Button, from Frome in Somerset, is ecstatic at being crowned world champion driver, but he's also gutted because his girlfriend, lingerie model Jessica Michibata is working in Japan. Which means that horny Jenson...
Read full storyKelly Osbourne Rushed To Hospital After Shoe Buckle Breaks
Kelly Osbourne has been rushed to hospital after a buckle fell off her shoe. The Ozzy MkII danced herself right into the emergency room after Monday night's Dancing With the Stars. But her wardrobe malfunction left her so distraught she was sen...
Read full storyCameron Rejects Populist Vote
Mr Cameron was today faced with growing furor within his party over whether a future Conservative Government would offer the British people a vote on the Lisbon Treaty. The subject has been widely publicized since Boris Johnson's performance at t...
Read full storyCheryl Cole DID Mime And You Read It Here First
We revealed exclusively on this website that Cheryl Cole was miming at key points during her 'performance' of her debut single, 'Fight For This Love' on the X-Factor, Sunday. Cole herself has since admitted that the performance wasn't entirely kos...
Read full storyGreta Van Susteren Is Fit To Be Tied!
NEW YORK CITY - The host of the Fox Network show Off The Record says that she is tired of people saying that Fox News is not really news. The 55-year-old Van Susteren, who amazingly enough became famous while covering the O.J. Simpson trail, said...
Read full storyWorld's Most Boring Man Takes Up Post As Human Anaesthetic
A man who is thought by many in his local pub to be the most boring man on Earth has taken up a post of Human Anaesthetic at Bradford Royal Infirmary. The man, Adrian Lipstick, about 45, regularly bores the arse off drinkers at the Horse and Cobbl...
Read full storyDo us all a favour, Gok - just do Wan
Spoks Gran will be starring in a new fashion show on Channel 4, due to air in January. The celebrity status of her grandson is due to catapault her into the A grade celebrity category within days of her first show. The synopsys for the show will...
Read full storyNena announces world wide tour of Sunderland
80s German pop sex kitten, Nena 49, has just announced a massive comeback tour after her classic single '99 Luftballons' has enjoyed unprecedented sales in the Sunderland and Manchester areas recently. The tour starts in March 2010 and will take i...
Read full storyAmy Winehouse is clean, she can prove it and God has welcomed her back!
Famous for her binge drinking, drugs abuse, rehab visits and being a part-time singer, Amy, has now been clean for a year she claims! Proof of this spectacular outing is, she has managed to string two gigs together without having to "REHAB" it!...
Read full storyDancing With The Stars: The Flu Hits, Maksim Stumbles, and Michael Irvin's Nickel
HOLLYWOOD - The flu bug has hit the dancers on Dancing With The Stars, or at least the professional dancers. Derek Hough who is partnered with Joanna Krupa and Mark Ballas who is partnered with Melissa Joan Hart both got the F bug. Ballas was stil...
Read full storyGeriatrics go on rampage as rumours of flu vaccine shortage grip the country
Winter is almost upon us, and the customary stampede to receive annual influenza vaccinations has taken an alarming turn. Doctors across the whole of the country are reporting greater than expected incidents of violent behaviour amongst the elder...
Read full storyHamid Karzai agrees to take part in Afghan presidential run-off
ESPN have lined up Karzi to take on Usain Bolt amongst others in a series of heats leading up to the latest election. Karzi requested Ben Johnson and Carl Lewis are to take part so he wouldn't be the only one accused of cheating. Karzis security...
Read full storyThe State of Colorado Plans To Move The Balloon Family Up To Wyoming
COLORADO SPRINGS - The Colorado Pike's Peaker is reporting that the Colorado State Department of Tourism is formulating plans to move the Balloon family aka, the Richie Heehaw family up to Wyoming. Covington Drinkwater director of the CSDT stated...
Read full storyIrish Artist Claims He Found Long Lost Bob Ross Masterpiece Behind Leonardo Da Vinci Battle Tableau!
The art world has been shocked today as local artist and tenured art Professor Sir Fergus McCarthy announced he has uncovered a long lost masterpiece from TV Master Painter Bob Ross. McCarthy said he has been a life long devotee of Ross, who forge...
Read full storyMs. Mannerisms
Ms. Mannerisms answers millions of people around the world with questions about their sexuality, relationships and etiquette in general. Letters may be sent to her in care of her manager and boytoy here, Alexandria177. If it's funny, or allows her to demonstrate your inferiority, she may answer it. She is better than all of you, as she can speak of herself in the third person. Dear Ms. Mann...
Read full story'The Sound of My Silence' by The Four Obamas tops the charts
After his surprise winning of the Nobel Peace Prize last week, Barack Obama next surprised the music world today when his band The Four Obamas shot straight to number one on both sides of the Atlantic with 'The Sound of My Silence'. And here are the song's lyrics: 'Hello Israel, my old friend I've come to sell you arms again While Palestinian children are sleeping To them the IDF now creepin...
Read full storyBrown 'To Send 500 X-Factor Contestants to Afghanistan'
It was announced that the 500 British Army reinforcements to be sent to Afghanistan will be made up entirely of X-Factor Contestants, but they won't be required to perform their act in the middle of actual combat situations, a government spokesperson...
Read full storyAdmiral Haftel arrested
San Francisco, Earth - Admiral Anthony Haftel was arrested yesterday, upon his return from a visit to the U.S.S. Enterprise, the flagship of our Star Fleet. The charges are serious, and involve attempted kidnapping, violation of the Prime Directive...
Read full storyNASA spy Stewart David Nozette grasses up Stephen Hawking as Pentagon hacker McKinnon's father
Washington - (Dark Side of the Moonies): Latest FBI espionage scalp Stewart David Nozette is to enter a plea bargain naming fellow conspirator Gary McKinnon as Stephen Hawking's firstborn bastard son. The Pentagon hacker's DNA was discovered on an...
Read full storySafe Carrier Bags
The long awaited solution to the global problem of recycling carrier bags has finally been found. A new polymer, Methyl-di-butanoazate, added to the pre mix granules for the production of polythene will allow all polythene carrier bags to be reused f...
Read full storyA vagina is a terrible thing to waste
Stovington, Vermont - The Vagina Appreciation Guild In North America (VAGINA) has released a study in which they claim that America's vaginas are grossly underused. Indeed, their interviews of 1,000 vaginal life support systems (women) showed disa...
Read full storyGreens Call for Pet Deaths to Save Planet
Climate change campaigners have called for all household pets to be drowned in a new campaign designed to reduce global carbon emissions. The Government-supported campaign, which includes press and television adverts, is sponsored by the Carbon Us...
Read full storyAdam West proclaimed King of Has-Beens
Century City, California - Adam West is now King West, courtesy of the unanimous vote of all the other has-been action heroes throughout television history. He is the first to have the title. It started as a routine meeting of some of Hollywood's...
Read full storyRichard Henne soldiers on.
Though sobering consequences from the alleged Balloon-boy hoax loom, sources say Richard Henne refuses to be deterred in the least from his ultimate goal: Starring in a reality T.V. show. "Richard's looking to capitalize on his biggest success in...
Read full storyBNP Membership List
The BNP membership list can be revealed here. Nick Griffin Nick Griffin's mum Nick Griffin's mum's cat Adolf Hitler General Franco Benito Mussolini Juan Peron PC Gary Wogbasher Mr Tickler (geography master at Fagbashers school) Reverend Henry Bigot my next door neighbor Sir Julian Lardy-Fatgit (Tory MP for Tonbridge) Dim Javidson (cockney comedian) David Wowie (70s pop star) Nick...
Read full storyASBO For Saying Lord's Prayer
An Anti Social Behavioral Order (ASBO) has been issued to a man following numerous complaints. It is said that the man, thought to be in his early 30s, continually recited a prayer loudly. He is also thought to have broken bread and given it to his n...
Read full storyStatistically six out of seven Dwarfs are not Happy
Studies have shown that six out of seven dwarfs are not Happy. Literary experts announced their findings after three years painstaking analysis of children's classic; Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Master Antonio Cherry, who led the research, sa...
Read full storyGovernment To Ban School Foreign Exchange Trips
Ed Balls Up, Secretary of State for Education, Education, Education today announced tough new measures which may put an end to foreign exchange trips. The fear of paedophiles under (or in) the bed has reached epic proportions. Now parents who agre...
Read full storyChurch Of England Ordains Lemon
The Church of England has ordained a lemon in a bid to make officiating at funerals easier. Whilst the move is unusual, the lemon is not thought to be the first fruit to be ordained by the church. Bishop Ray Kiddiefiddler said "These days funerals...
Read full storyThe Latest Internet Tool for Criminals
After the big news that Google are starting to show images of which houses have satellite dishes and no alarms through their street mapping software, criminals will soon have another weapon in their arsenal to aid and abet them in their nefarious act...
Read full storyDaily Mail writer Jan Moir has affair with cream cake
Obese and cretinous Daily Mail writer Jan Moir has been exposed as having a secret affair with a cream cake. It's been revealed that Mrs Moir has been cheating on her husband with the fattening pastry for the entire duration of their marriage. It'...
Read full storyNew spokesperson for the Taliban?
Berlin, Germany - German and American intelligence outfits have detected a large upswing of recruits by Al-Qaeda and Taliban terror training camps. And these recruits are Western, and at least one seems to be American. An examination of the recru...
Read full storyThe Colorado Balloon Family Places Their Silver Hot Air Balloon on eBay
FORT COLLINS, Colorado - The Richie Heehaw family, aka The Balloon family has just placed what is probably the most famous hot air balloon in history on eBay. "Balloon Papa" told a reporter for The Fort Collins Morning Mountaineer that he and his...
Read full storyRush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck Want Meghan McCain To Resign From The GOP Now!
NEW YORK CITY - F Network GOPolitical pundits Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck have said that they both want for Meghan McCain to resign from the GOP immediately. Glenn Beck said that the photos of Meghan McCain showing an expanse of cleavage is not t...
Read full storyCongress To Vet New Cookie Czar
In an effort to reach across the isle to the GOP, Obama today agreed to let a congressional committee vet his new Cookie Czar appointee. Today Obama submitted three names for consideration and recommendation, the Keebler Elf, Cookie Monster, and the...
Read full story"You can U-Green If You Want To" (Margaret Thatcher)
In the Obama administration "ultra-green" is the new manna from heaven, the new mantra, the replacement of "ultra-violet". But there's no room for Fox (or friends), no first amendment, no second amendment and gosh darn it, no such thing as US ci...
Read full storyTerrorists enjoying paradise
Bermuda - Recently the Red Cross went down to Bermuda to check on the status of the Gitmo Uighurs that President Obama sent down there for life. They felt it was important to make sure that no human rights abuses were occurring. They discussed th...
Read full story"Yes Men" spokesperson confesses, "We're losers"
New York City, New York - At a press conference held today, spokesperson Andy Bitchbum of the activist group Yes Men, admitted that they are a group of losers. "Basically we're spoiled children", he said. "From upper middle class and upper class...
Read full storyNHS Approves Midwifery for Constipation
London - Already the third largest employer in the entire world, the National Health Service plans on stretching the limits of taxpayers further by implementing a new midwifery program for constipated patients staffed with maternity room nurses. T...
Read full storyAntiques Road Show Uncovers Antique Bureau Worth 3.5M Spoof Points!
A dowdy London retiree, saying he 'really didn't need it anymore', lugged an antique Victorian Bureau in for appraisal on the Antique Road Show, and found after an appraisal it was worth over 3.5M Spoof Points! Mortimer Fartwaithe, a retired post...
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