Admiral Haftel arrested

Funny story written by Alexandria177

Tuesday, 20 October 2009

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StarFleet Justice Department

San Francisco, Earth - Admiral Anthony Haftel was arrested yesterday, upon his return from a visit to the U.S.S. Enterprise, the flagship of our Star Fleet. The charges are serious, and involve attempted kidnapping, violation of the Prime Directive and manslaughter.

Two weeks ago the Admiral took it upon himself to personally visit the Enterprise for the purpose of examining the daughter of Lt. Commander Data, a Star Fleet officer of stellar reputation. This was against the advice of Captain Jean Luc Picard, who maintained it was not needful.

It happens though that even then, Admiral Haftel had plans to kidnap the girl, named Lal, for purposes of scientific investigation. He claims that this violates no rules as she was "just" a machine, forgetting that Captain Picard himself participated in the landmark case acknowledging the rights of Soonian type androids.

Undeterred by the pleas of Lt. Commander Data, Captain Picard, and Lal herself, he pursued his bizarre course of action until frightening the child into a mental/emotional breakdown that directly led to her untimely death.

Defense attorneys are expected to argue that Lal was too valuable to stay on the ship, where she may have been exposed to danger. A Star Fleet insider, speaking on conditions of anonymity, dismisses this as laughable. "Oh, let's see, we can have human children on board, but not Lal, for her being to precious? But she's not so precious as to not have the rights of the human children? He'll have to do better than that!"

A possible mitigating factor would seem to be his attempt to save her at the end, but most point out that this was more to still be able to kidnap her, and perhaps to cover himself for his misconduct. And while Lt. Commander Data himself seems forgiving, Star Fleet has no intention of letting such rogue officers run roughshod over the rights of it's citizens.

In related news, Lt. Commander Data is suing Lt. Reginald Barclay for causing mental distress. This is due to Lt. Commander Data going to the holodeck shortly after Lal's death, and finding Lt. Barclay already in there making out with a holographic representation of her.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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