"Atlas Shrugged: The John Galt Story" - a synopsis

Funny story: "Atlas Shrugged: The John Galt Story" - a synopsis

Either/Or Origin Born in rural Ohio, John Galt's father was a gas station attendent, his mother, not described, was no doubt some bar slut, as who else would screw a man held in such contempt by his own son? After all, not once did John ever call or write his parents, never mentioned them, and was upset when a buddy mentioned them one time. He apparently did not excell in school at all, drew...

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Nick Griffin and Bonnie Greer announce shock wedding

Funny story: Nick Griffin and Bonnie Greer announce shock wedding

In a surprise announcement, Nick Griffin leader of the British National Party, and Bonnie Greer, black historian, have set the date for their wedding. This follows a whirlwind romance which took place after Mr Griffin's appearance on Question Time...

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A tale of two cities, or a sale of two...?

Funny story: A tale of two cities, or a sale of two...?

San Francisco, California - It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, a time of high class charity balls and low class eight balls. For one woman, Charleeza Throne, it was the worst of times. Being an addict and a minority is not easy,...

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Brains Of Britain - Scots Stay Put!

Desperate to stem the tide of highly skilled and professional English emigration to foreign shores and halt the tide of highly motivated East European and Black African immigration benefit seekers the Parliament of England is to launch a £20 assisted...

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Jan Moir "Sorry I Bothered"

Funny story: Jan Moir "Sorry I Bothered"

Jan Moir today issued an apology regarding her article on the death of Stephen Gateley. Moir had been accused of homophobia and over 20 000 complaints were received by the press complaints commission. "I am so sorry.... that I bothered to make thi...

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Larry King Interviews Kanye West

Funny story: Larry King Interviews Kanye West

LOS ANGELES - After five weeks of trying, Larry King has finally gotten the hip-hop, rip-rap rapper Kanye West to agree to appear on his show Larry King Live. West found himself all over the airwaves, newspapers, and tabloids a little over a month ago due to him running up on stage at the MTV Video Music Awards and taking the microphone away from Taylor Swift during her acceptance speech for B...

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Question Time transcript

Funny story: Question Time transcript

'And on tonight's Question Time we have Minister for Something Jack Feeble, some American writer nobody has ever heard of, some Baroness with an Asian complexion, another Liberal nobody, and Adolf Hitler. Let's take our first question, which comes from Henry Himmler.' 'Can we devote an entire hour of this BBC programme to talking about Adolf Hitler?' 'Jack Feeble.' 'Well, we can, but let me jus...

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Obama's Enemies List: Former President Nixon's Advice

Funny story: Obama's Enemies List: Former President Nixon's Advice

When Obama railed against Fox News, former President Nixon felt obliged to return from the dead to give the current president some advice about creating an enemies list. Nixon, after all, was an expert at that. A Spoof reporter saw Nixon, hold...

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Moors murderer Ian Brady: the real Cherie's buried on Saddleworth Moor

Funny story: Moors murderer Ian Brady: the real Cherie's buried on Saddleworth Moor

HMP Broadmoor - (Rotters): "And that impostor slag wife of Blair's is BNP tosser Nick Griffin's sister!" Brady's latest deposition before a new Appeal Court parole hearing threatens to blow the lid off Griffin's sordid, corpulent arse. It names...

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Joe Wilson Exiles His Wife

(Washington, D.C.) Congressman Joe Wilson, who stepped into the national spotlight with his Tourette Syndrome like moment during President Barack Obama's speech, announced this week that his wife Roxanne has been diagnosed with swine flu. Congress...

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Dick Cheney keeps speaking

Funny story: Dick Cheney keeps speaking

(Washington, D.C.) Addressing a conservative gathering, former Vice President Dick Cheney targeted the Obama administration's handling of Iraq and Afghanistan from the 'dithering' to send more troops to halting the Bush administration's use of "enhan...

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Sarah Palin keeps blogging

Funny story: Sarah Palin keeps blogging

(New York-NY) Sarah Palin, viewed as a possible Republican 2012 White House hopeful, gave yet another unsolicited opinion, this time on the special election in New York's 23rd congressional district. Palin endorsed candidate Doug Hoffman over Rep...

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Plane Passenger Vigilance is Key

Funny story: Plane Passenger Vigilance is Key

(Washington, D.C.) A passenger flight overshot its destination airport by about 150 miles Wednesday. Federal investigators initially thought that the aircraft, which remained radio silent for 16 minutes, might have been taken over by terrorists.

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Darth Vader Told "Take Outfit Off If You Want To Attend College"

Funny story: Darth Vader Told "Take Outfit Off If You Want To Attend College"

Darth Vader has been turned away from Burnley Technical College for attending in his full outfit. Dressed from head to toe in black Vader certainly cuts an imposing figure. It was feared that he may intimidate other students and disrupt the learning...

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Labour "Recruiting Schoolchildren as Candidate MPs"

Funny story: Labour "Recruiting Schoolchildren as Candidate MPs"

There was shock yesterday as it was revealed that groups of Labour Party officials have been loitering near school entrances and accosting schoolchildren as young as 12 with a view to getting them hooked on left-wing politics. "This is perfectly n...

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The Classic English Roadster

Funny story: The Classic English Roadster

Ah yes, the classic English roadster, for American purposes, it was any of a number of minimalist automobiles of a sporting nature, designed and produced by various manufactures (some were little more than cottage industries) in Great Britain, between 1946 and 1965 (after '65 there weren't really any new designs, just tired variations of the "same 'ol, same 'ol"). The typical roadster was built...

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Naked woman holed up in bathroom - S.W.A.T. called

Funny story: Naked woman holed up in bathroom - S.W.A.T. called

DENVER, COLO - My source, Captain Doolittle of the DPD indicated that S.W.A.T was called yesterday to the scene of a woman who had locked herself in the bathroom after drinking aspartame laced beverages, where she had allegedly removed all of her clo...

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'Live from Studio Five' brings BNP closer to world domination

Funny story: 'Live from Studio Five' brings BNP closer to world domination

Hilarious UK Channel 5 comedy 'Live From Studio Five' today unwittingly advanced the cause of Nick Griffin's ultra right wing BNP by dint of it's presenter's stunning lack of wit, knowledge and articulation of wot is English language, innit. Tople...

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Ebay sells itself by mistake

Funny story: Ebay sells itself by mistake

Profits at online auction giant eBay have fallen by 99% as it continued to struggle amid the weak economy. It made $1 (£0.43) in the third quarter from $2 in the same period a year earlier as customers showed reluctance to spend. But the firm'...

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Microsoft to introduce new "Garage" operating system

Funny story: Microsoft to introduce new "Garage" operating system

Microsoft, according to my secret inside source, has said it is happy with the sales of its new Windows 7 operating system. However, these are tough times. Soon to be released, "Garage" operating system. In these difficult times, garage sales ar...

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'Intoxicated' pilots flail to land

Funny story: 'Intoxicated' pilots flail to land

Bratwurst Airlines, Airsled flight AA-151, was flying erratically today on the way from San Diego to Minneapolis. It missed the airport and started circling over an Indian reservation, where it was attacked with arrows. Contact with the Bratwurst...

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NASA credited with highest grossing film of the 20th century

Funny story: NASA credited with highest grossing film of the 20th century

Houston, Texas - Sorry James Cameron, but the figures are now all in for determining who had the highest grossing film of the 20th century, and it was not "Titanic". While "Titanic" with Leonardo DiCaprio did bring in $1.8 billion, it was "Moon La...

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The New iVibrator 7 Is Coming

Funny story: The New iVibrator 7 Is Coming

BEAVER, Pennsylvania - The Eager Beaver Adult Sexual Aid Company has just announced that they will soon be shipping their first shipment of the new, affordable, state-of-the-art iVibrator 7. Caitlan Rufflebock, president and CEO of Eager Beaver st...

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Ann Widdecombe condemns foul language on telly

Funny story: Ann Widdecombe condemns foul language on telly

Foul language is being used so frequently in everyday speech, that a third of us will hear a swear word every five minutes, claims childless, Roman Catholic spinster of this parish and sometime novelist The Rt. Hon. Ann Widdecombe. Ms Widdecombe...

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I'm A Holocaust Denying Neo Nazi Get Me Out Of Here

Funny story: I'm A Holocaust Denying Neo Nazi Get Me Out Of Here

The BBC today defended their new show, I'm A Holocaust Denying Nazi Get Me Out Of Here. There have been complaints that the show was cruel to dumb animals. The BBC insisted that no animals were hurt in the making of the program. Their have been furth...

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The Jay Leno Show Beaten In The Ratings By The Condiment Channel

Funny story: The Jay Leno Show Beaten In The Ratings By The Condiment Channel

LOS ANGELES - The Jay Leno Show has only been on the air for six weeks and it has already been beaten in the ratings by a Cable TV Network. The Condiment Channel knocked Leno's NBC show to fourth place behind ABC and CBS. When Leno was told abo...

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Oldest cat in America dies, shocking discovery made

Funny story: Oldest cat in America dies, shocking discovery made

Midlothian, Texas - Caterack the Cat, believed to have been one of the oldest cats on Earth, died yesteday at an age of in cat years, 210. Cats being cats, she is believed to have been survived by 12,773,523 descendants. But a shocking discovery...

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"Let Them Eat Pop Tarts" - New Battle Cry of The T-Baggers

Funny story: "Let Them Eat Pop Tarts" - New Battle Cry of The T-Baggers

In a slogan eerily similar to the statement of Marie Antoinette, wife of KIng Louis XV1 of France 1774-1791, when she said "Let them eat cake" the T-Baggers have announced a new campaign to target those that receive any form of government entitlement...

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Panic At TheSpoof.com As Dirty Words Are Banned

Funny story: Panic At TheSpoof.com As Dirty Words Are Banned

BALLS-UPON-TILLY, UK - Satirical website TheSpoof.com today announced that it no longer would accept submissions containing certain words, plunging the online satire sensation into anarchy. Managing editor Dark Lowdown identified the four main wor...

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Dick Cheney repents of torture

Funny story: Dick Cheney repents of torture

His Underground Lair, Remote Island - Dick Cheney, former Vice President of the U.S., director of Halliburton and advisor to Lucifer, has recently released a statement in which he expresses regret over Gitmo, and calls for it's closing. "I have ju...

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Giant cream pie crushes beloved comic

Funny story: Giant cream pie crushes beloved comic

Bronx, New York - Beloved comedian and television show host Soupy Sales died today, believed to have been crushed by a large cream pie that was thrown by his past friend Frank Sinatra. He was 83. Several sock puppets and the naked girl spoke at h...

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"Robin Hood" drug cartel busted, others okay

Funny story: "Robin Hood" drug cartel busted, others okay

Washington, D.C. - Proud officials from the DEA announced that in a massive sweep, they arrested over 300 suspected members of La Familia, believed to be a drug cartel. The other cartels are still fully operational. What is odd about this, and wh...

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New TV Panel Show Announced by BBC

Funny story: New TV Panel Show Announced by BBC

The BBC announced a new show to appear in their Spring Schedules. Entitled "Roasting Time", it will involve a panel of people in the news being questioned by an invited audience on current events. "The critical difference to other shows,", explai...

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Al Gore Demands "Pets Must Go" in New World Global Warming Order!

Funny story: Al Gore Demands "Pets Must Go" in New World Global Warming Order!

Al Gore, described as 'a Mountain of a Man' in Global Warming Circles, pronounced today that if the world is to be saved from itself, there is no place on earth for Pets, and their carbon emissions! The announcement would have raised alarms and P...

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Military bows to pressure from NOW

Funny story: Military bows to pressure from NOW

Ft. Benning, Georgia - For years, the National Organization of Women, has brought pressure to bear upon the United States Military to change their discriminatory stance against women. From outright exclusion, to forbidding them combat roles, NOW h...

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Nambla Airlines unveils its "don't ask, don't tell" policy

Funny story: Nambla Airlines unveils its "don't ask, don't tell" policy

The airline is a-buzz with the news that a Wednesday evening flight overshot it's destination when the two pilots became "distracted". Pilots Bruce Hardman and Dirk Hungston have insisted that they did not hear any radio or phone calls, as they we...

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Question Time Axed By BBC

Funny story: Question Time Axed By BBC

The BBC has announced that it is to axe the current affairs program Question Time. Director General Mark Tom Thumb said that the decision had been a difficult one. "The show has run for thirty years but I think that there is not much left for it...

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$200m cocaine sub bust scuppers Amazonbotch Ecuadorian campaign

Funny story: $200m cocaine sub bust scuppers Amazonbotch Ecuadorian campaign

Guatemala - (Red Oktober): An Amazonbotch campaign to embezzle $27 billion from oil supermajor Chevron has bombed. The organization's principal source of revenue has suffered a serious blow with today's busting of a $200 million cocaine-carrying C...

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Griffin denies farting during Question Time

Funny story: Griffin denies farting during Question Time

BNP leader Nick Griffin denied this morning that he had farted loudly during the recording of Question Time last night. Sound engineers were combing through the videotape to try and ascertain who had produced the loud rumbling bottom explosion ten...

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Light Relief

Tissue manufacturers are becoming increasingly concerned over the spread of a fungus apparently living off tissue paper which has been found in batches of tissues and toilet paper rolls across the globe. Once the fungus gets inside the pack of tissue it starts to make the tissue its home while travelling around the world for its customer. During this time it absorbs goodness in the tissue and i...

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Nick Griffin 'Jade Goody's natural Last Tango in Paris partner' say Strictly judges

Funny story: Nick Griffin 'Jade Goody's natural Last Tango in Paris partner' say Strictly judges

London - (Hokey-Cokey): Terminal illness alone prevented Jade Goody RIP from partnering Nick Griffin on Strictly Come Dancing a BBC TV audience heard last night. The BNP leader however withdrew prematurely from the contest last year following rumo...

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Clarkson to become a lesbian

Funny story: Clarkson to become a lesbian

Top Gear presenter and testosterone-fuelled TV hardman Jeremy Clarkson has revealed today that he is to become a lesbian. The shock announcement will stun his army of adoring female fans who hang on every macho word he utters on the eponymous TV p...

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UK economy is still in the cupboard

Funny story: UK economy is still in the cupboard

The UK economy unexpectedly hid behind the Christmas decorations for another month, according to some guy at a government office meaning the country is still in the cupboard. It is the first time UK gross Christmas decorations (GCD) has contracted...

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Georgetown 'fancy lad' misses mommy

Funny story: Georgetown 'fancy lad' misses mommy

Spoiled America - Charley is away from home for the first time, and for a young lad of rich parents, this can be daunting. As a big boy sophomore, he's expected to go to all his classes, work a hoighty-toighty finance job, and still manage to find t...

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BNTP attacks coffee on BBC show

Funny story: BNTP attacks coffee on BBC show

British National Tea Party leader Rick Muffin has used his Question Time appearance to criticise Starbucks and defend a past head of afternoon tea campaign. He also told a large hostile audience that Granma Smith from Skegness would be a BNTP supp...

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'Down With Fascism' To End Campaign

Funny story: 'Down With Fascism' To End Campaign

Pressure group Down With Fascism, who have been instrumental in organising angry protests against the British National Party, have today announced that they are ceasing operations with immediate effect. The surprise announcement comes in the wake...

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Robbie Williams To Be Honoured At Spoof Awards

Funny story: Robbie Williams To Be Honoured At Spoof Awards

Robbie Williams is to be given the special Outstanding Lifetime Achievement To Spoof Writers Award at a special ceremony at the Wellingborough Parish Hall. The award caps a triumphant return to public life for the singer. From his days as the fat...

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Tight Security at BBC Following Angry Protests

Funny story: Tight Security at BBC Following Angry Protests

BC Broadcasting House remains under tight security today following a series of scuffles between protesters and police outside the gates yesterday. Around 200 angry protesters surrounded the BBC's main gates in Wood Lane, with their numbers increas...

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World's Dumbest Terrorist Arrested - He Was Planning On Blowing Up The Atlantic Ocean

Funny story: World's Dumbest Terrorist Arrested - He Was Planning On Blowing Up The Atlantic Ocean

PORTLAND, Maine - Authorities in Portland have arrested Mustifini Allahfut, a known Iraqi terrorist. Allahfut, who is 42, and speaks broken English as well as broken Iraqi was charged with planning to blow up the Atlantic Ocean. Detective Murra...

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Madame Bitters Is Ready to Give You Advice!

Funny story: Madame Bitters Is Ready to Give You Advice!

Hello, all: If you've been paying attention, you may have noticed that I've been absent from my advice column for well over 6 months. What can I say? I've been exploring other projects and growing as a writer. What, did you thing I was going to say I was sorry? Do you even know me? If you do know me (and if you don't, you really should) then you'd know that I never use the 's-word'...

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Rosie and Kelli can NOT get divorced

Funny story: Rosie and Kelli can NOT get divorced

Nyack, New York - Rosie O'Donald and Kelli Carpenter were married in San Francisco back in 2004 and are possibly contemplating a divorce. But could they even if they wanted to? The Supreme Court is already clearing their docket. You see, while g...

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The Streets of Bordello Falls (Chapter Five)

Funny story: The Streets of Bordello Falls (Chapter Five)

The Streets of Bordello Falls Chapter 5 Love and Whiskey Make the World Go 'Round! Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four Madame Bitters cracked the heavy velvet cutains that framed her office window in response to the gunshot she'd just heard. She was just in time to see the Deputy falls to the dusty street. It seemed Deputy Slim Pickens was the latest law enforceme...

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