La Bella Roma, The Eternal City, The Colosseum. That 2000 year old Roman amphitheatre, model for every modern stadium we see today. And The Bonkettes.
In the most amazing concert ever witnessed, the lights went down, and then from beneath the arena, two dozen lions and tigers emerged, reminiscent of the film 'Gladiator' with Russell Crowe, but more spectacular.
Lion and tiger tamer Petr Shaggitov showed a masterful degree of control over his animals as he tried to dissuade them from biting him to death.
Then centre stage came up.
With the Bonkettes, singing 'Gay Stripper' with twin sisters BJ Spit and BJ Swallow leading the vocals.
Even Pope Benedict XIV leapt from his seat applauding enthusiastically, tossing a pair of underpants stage wise.
Having seemingly sorted out their differences, Kathy Legover nee Trembler and drummer Fanny Tickler worked surprisingly well together as the band wowed the crowd in the Italian capital city.
Spit and Swallow belted out 'Porno Book Writer' before the band dimmed the tempo with an inspired version of 'Pissed Today'
The crowd went wild as the Bonkettes launched into 70's disco classic 'Barely Alive' followed by a cover of the Heebeejeebies classic 'Night Beaver.'
As the show went on, lion tamer Petr Shaggitov struggled to contain the wild animals, suffering lacerations to the buttocks as he tried to run away from them.
The band wrapped up the evening by performing 'Arrivederci Middlesbrough', Madonna's 'Poppa Don't Preach' especially for the Pope, and the blockbuster finale, 'Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life' which the pope joined in enthusiastically with.
After the show, Bonkettes front lady BJ Swallow told us as she sensuously sipped axle grease through a straw:
"This is it! But not in a Michael Jackson way. Obviously."
More as we get it.
