Jaycee Lee Dugard - Abductor Calls In Hope Of Selling Story Exclusive

Funny story: Jaycee Lee Dugard - Abductor Calls In Hope Of Selling Story Exclusive

Reporters over here in my London office were dumbfounded when the office received a call from none other than Phillip Garrido, the weirdo freak pervert who kidnapped Jaycee Lee Dugard 18 years ago when she was just 11 years old. Before his arrest,...

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China invents new method of capital punishment

Funny story: China invents new method of capital punishment

Beijing, China - Apart from the usual communistic practices, China has invented a new method of capital punishment. A pool is filled with saltwater and the condemned are placed in the pool. This is done on a day in which storms are expected.

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Mel Gibson Kicks Smoking Habit With Alcohol!

Funny story: Mel Gibson Kicks Smoking Habit With Alcohol!

"The cigarettes were killing me, I could already feel my chest growing brittle, the old lungs turning brown. That was when I became determined to kick that awful habit through the drinking of alcohol." Gibson told our reporter for the Inquisitor t...

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Former Bank of England governor distances himself from fat paedo perv

Funny story: Former Bank of England governor distances himself from fat paedo perv

London - (Landslide!): "That filthy fat slag's no relative of mine!" an outraged former Bank of England governor Eddie George RIP fumed today. George's disgust was being channelled via London College of Psychic Studies ectoplasm specialists follow...

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Latest Hominid Discovery PreDates 'Ardi' By 1m Years, 'Lucy' By 2m Years

Funny story: Latest Hominid Discovery PreDates 'Ardi' By 1m Years, 'Lucy' By 2m Years

Scientists from all over the world flocked into Denton, a drab suburb of east Manchester, UK, to witness the unveiling of 'Sandra' - reported to predate recent archeological discoveries, such as Ardi, the hominid discovered and unveiled recently, and...

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Madonna and Jesus Praia da Luz in $25 million 'Halo' magazine wedding pics deal

Funny story: Madonna and Jesus Praia da Luz in $25 million 'Halo' magazine wedding pics deal

New York - (Pre-Nup): The nuptials between the blonde surgically enhanced singer and her dusky 29 year-old - famous for modelling brazilians - will be blessed by the exclusive multi-million dollar deal. No draughty, hideously be-tartaned Scottish...

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Is Erin Andrews Another Miley Or Kristen? Brit Press Asks.

Funny story: Is Erin Andrews Another Miley Or Kristen? Brit Press Asks.

Who is Erin Andrews? This is the question currently reverberating around the United Kingdom, and the British press have made it patently obvious that they're not about to have the wool pulled over their eyes yet again. Jetty Morgan, one time edito...

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Saturn's Last Call - a Tit-Top Hybrid

In a bold swansong move, the Saturn Corporation - who yesterday confirmed plans to shut down its auto production - today announced it will produce one last model, a hybrid called the Saturn Bressa. The Bressa will be the world's first breast-power...

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Chip On Shoulder Reminds Elderly, "Time For Sex"

Funny story: Chip On Shoulder Reminds Elderly, "Time For Sex"

A Swiss pharmaceutical group called Nervotis has developed an electronic pill and chip that it hopes will reduce the number of patients who have to be supervised taking their medicine. Severine Baerrtschi, head of pharmaceuticals at Nevortis, said...

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Empire State Building Lit For China, Protested

Funny story: Empire State Building Lit For China, Protested

The red and yellow lights shone from the top of the Empire State Building beginning at 8PM on Wednesday is supposed to be a tribute to communist China's 60th anniversary, but "Friends of Tibet" protesters labeled it "blatant approval" of totalitarian...

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Human-like fossil "Ardi" proves that Wayne Rooney is a human being

Funny story: Human-like fossil "Ardi" proves that Wayne Rooney is a human being

A human-like fossil found in Ethiopia, which was traced back 4 million years has now been linked to Wayne Rooney. Scientists have been tracing the fossil from way back when up till today and are convinced the "missing link" has been found between...

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Volunteer Breast-Exam Brigade - New Peak in US Health Care

In an effort to make manual breast exams more accessible to American women, the Obama administration today announced a new addition to the Democrats' proposed national health care plan - the Breast Offensive National Exam Resource, or BONER. As...

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Wacko Jacko was declared perfectly healthy before he "Topped It"

Funny story: Wacko Jacko was declared perfectly healthy before he "Topped It"

An amazing report confirming the perfect health of "Wacko Jacko" has emerged and now the world is wondering was their really foul play causing Michael's death. "He was a totally healthy 50 year old," announced Michael's personal specialist, Doktor...

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Artist Damian Hirst shocks the world by starting his new career as an artist!

Funny story: Artist Damian Hirst shocks the world by starting his new career as an artist!

World famous con-man, better known as the artist Damian Hirst is starting a brand new career. . .as an artist! This announcement has shocked the world because everybody was conned into thinking that's what Damian had been doing all the time.

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Britney Spears Furious At The "So You Think You Can Dance" Vagina Girl

Funny story: Britney Spears Furious At The "So You Think You Can Dance" Vagina Girl

MALIBU BEACH - Britney Spears, well-known singer, dancer, actress, and infamous "VVF"* is reportedly highly upset that someone has stolen her Tuna Town thunder. Spears who is almost as famous for her well-manicured hoo-ha as she is for her well-tu...

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Fart Causes Skid Mark, Divorce

Funny story: Fart Causes Skid Mark, Divorce

A fart can be more trouble than it's worth sometimes, especially when it's a wet fart, and so it was when unemployed car worker, Tabib Dipthong of Dudley, dropped his guts after a tasty curry last Thursday. Poor Tabib, 34, had taken his lovely wif...

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Spoof Writer's Wife Develops New Marital Aid-Sells Out Immediately

Funny story: Spoof Writer's Wife Develops New Marital Aid-Sells Out Immediately

LONDON (ABSNN) - The wife of the popular Spoof writer Skoob1999 has developed and marketed a new marital aid, "Pretends" Natural Male Enhancement for the Penile Challenged. The capsules, taken thirty-minutes prior to intercourse, have sold o...

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Turn in concealed weapons, get Cod Piece: New governmeant gun control program

With the motto...."Let them really know, you carry concealed" the government today announced a new program to reduce the number of concealed weapons currently flooding our nations streets and rural areas. With slogans like......"Feel good about yo...

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"So You Think You Can Dance" Ratings Sizzle Thanks To The Dancing Beaver

Funny story: "So You Think You Can Dance" Ratings Sizzle Thanks To The Dancing Beaver

LOS ANGELES - Apparently the producers of the reality dancing show So You Think You Can Dance know how to get their ratings to shoot through the roof. One of the contestants, who shall go nameless, so that her phone does not ring off the wall, was...

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Obama to Critics:"I'll Bite You!"

Funny story: Obama to Critics:"I'll Bite You!"

Washington, D.C.-President Obama has enjoyed extraordinary popularity, he has both houses of congress and the support of nearly every union and yet his accomplishments can be counted on the fingers of one hand. Desperate to make his mark, Mr. Obama h...

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Dallas Cowboys Quarterback Tony Romo Buys Ex-Girlfriend Jessica Simpson Another Dog

Funny story: Dallas Cowboys Quarterback Tony Romo Buys Ex-Girlfriend Jessica Simpson Another Dog

DALLAS - Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo has just given his ex-girlfriend Jessica Simpson a brand new dog which looks exactly like her ex-dog Daisy. Romo said that he felt real bad for Jessica when he heard that little Daisy had been dognapped by a...

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Marfa, Texas Lays Off It's Entire Police Force

Funny story: Marfa, Texas Lays Off It's Entire Police Force

MARFA, Texas - The little West Texas town of Marfa, which is situated 162 miles southeast of El Paso, has found a way to deal with the nation's economic crisis - simply lay off the entire police department. Marfa Mayor Rojo "Red" Carabina said tha...

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Vanessa George Bush pleads guilty

Funny story: Vanessa George Bush pleads guilty

Plymouth - (Rotters): Little Ted Kennedy nursery worker Vanessa George Bush and two accomplices have pleaded guilty. The moron trio was caught after astonished undercover sting op officers homed in on their foul activities. "Blatant? We were...

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Sharon Tate Murder File To Be Reopened After Roman Polanski Arrested

Funny story: Sharon Tate Murder File To Be Reopened After Roman Polanski Arrested

Disturbing new evidence has come to light that "totally changes" the way police are thinking about the 1969 murder of Sharon Tate, it can be revealed. Tate's husband at the time of her murder, writer and weirdo Roman Polanski, was arrested by poli...

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Friction Free Biscuit's now in Development

Funny story: Friction Free Biscuit's now in Development

A biscuit has been developed by government scientists that is entirely friction free. The implications of this new biscuit will reach far and wide in offices and work places the world over, wherever people enjoy a coffee/tea and biscuit break. Peo...

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BT Knows The Numbers

Funny story: BT Knows The Numbers

BT is introducing guidelines for phone users to know the difference between their area code and their phone number. Some people quote a shortened version of the code and stick the remainder of the code onto the start of the number. So, for example...

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San Andreas Fault To Be Repaired In 2010

Funny story: San Andreas Fault To Be Repaired In 2010

The San Andreas Fault, the continental transform fault that runs roughly 800 miles through California in the United States, and which forms the tectonic boundary between the Pacific Plate and the North American Plate, is to be mended next year. Th...

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UK Broadband: back on the street if he doesn't shape up!

Funny story: UK Broadband: back on the street if he doesn't shape up!

Recent graphic pictures of UK "The Hoover" Broadband snorting cocaine have sparked outrage from the Internet community and a recent report has shown that he'll not be able to service the UK for much longer. Partying every night is taking its toll...

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China defaults on all financial instruments and deeds, restoring communism

BEJING China - An anonymous message was delivered to the US embassy giving 30 days for Americans to vacate. The message seems to be in reponse to these events, previously reported: ...Bernanke now claims all the tea in China, as well as all t...

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Political Measurement Units List Released

Funny story: Political Measurement Units List Released

Secaucus NJ: The Hoboken Institute of Standards Technology (HIST) has released the latest political and pop culture measurement units. HIST updates this list every 10 years to keep up with the happenings in Washington DC and Hollywood. For those readers not familiar with such a list here is an example; 1 Hitler is the absolute measurement of evil in the world, thus a number of milli or micro Hi...

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Gordon Brown conference speech interrupted by Kanye West

Funny story: Gordon Brown conference speech interrupted by Kanye West

Brighton, UK Prime minister Gordon Brown's keynote speech at the Labour Party conference was interrupted today when pop star Kanye West stormed the stage. Brown was listing the achievements of the Labour Party since 1997, including disability legi...

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Jade Goody Man Arrested For Graverobbing

Funny story: Jade Goody Man Arrested For Graverobbing

Jack Tweed-Tweedy, the husband of Jade Goody, who died in such tragic circumstances on Mothers Day this year, has been interviewed by police in connection with an incident at a cemetery in Thurrock where the former media star is buried. Local resi...

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Kayne West tells Jenny Slate she should get a job flipping burgers

Funny story: Kayne West tells Jenny Slate she should get a job flipping burgers

HOLYWOOD CA - According to my source, Robin Aygey, Kayne West called Jenny Slate to complain about the "blue" language used on SNL Saturday night. Always knowing just what to say, Kayne went on to tell her she ought to quit SNL and get a job flipp...

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Angry Man Builds House From Bricks He Shit

Funny story: Angry Man Builds House From Bricks He Shit

Roscoe Hereford, a local man most famous for his continual anger and temper tantrums, has built a new house using all natural materials. The "green" house was composed of compost...that is, natural bricks. Home builder and owner Hereford said "my...

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Apparently, Yankees-Red Sox are on ESPN tonight

In what many are already calling an instant baseball classic, the New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox will be shown tonight at 7 pm ET on ESPN. Said ESPN vice president of marketing John Kimble: "It's extremely rare when major-market teams with sw...

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Did "So You Think You Can Dance" Contestant Outdo Janet Jackson's Super Bowl Performance?

Funny story: Did "So You Think You Can Dance" Contestant Outdo Janet Jackson's Super Bowl Performance?

A contestant on Tuesday's episode of 'So You Think You Can Dance' apparently revealed too much when she dropped to the floor to celebrate her advance to the next round, or was that the plan? After all, the show needs some ratings help. Some peo...

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Infection that Possibly Killed Dinosaur Sue Spreads to Spoof Forum

Funny story: Infection that Possibly Killed Dinosaur Sue Spreads to Spoof Forum

An intrepid Spoof reporter had just returned yesterday from a Chicago Museum where scientists had found some evidence that Sue, the Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton, may have died eons ago of a throat infection. The industrious reporter, who loves d...

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