Cameron Announces All-Muslim Short Lists

Funny story written by Bunsen Burner

Tuesday, 20 October 2009

image for Cameron Announces All-Muslim Short Lists
"Hello, I am your new Conservative candidate for Parliament..."

Conservative Party leader David Cameron has announced that at the next General Election all Conservative candidates will be Muslims. Speaking at a press conference Cameron, sporting a beard and dressed like Lawrence of Arabia, said "If we really are serious about making the House of Commons more like the society it represents then we have got to increase the representation of Muslims."

He also announced that he no longer wished to be called David Cameron. "Please call me Mohammad Islam, or Mo for short, ya?"

Not all Conservatives were pleased by this sudden announcement. Mayor of London, Boris johnson said "Crikey! Gaddzooks! Golly! Gosh!" but other Tories managed to be more intelligible. William Hague said "I refuse to become Javed Iqbal. If you think I'm giving up 14 pints of Yorkshire bitter and a bit of how's your father on a Friday night, think again!"

The Conservatives are seeking to outmaneuver the Government on race and gender issues. However, Gordon Brown announced that Labour had adopted all-transvestite short lists. "Call me Morag" said the Prime Minister, dressed in a little Versace number. Sadly the Liberal Democrats have announced all-Liberal Democrat short lists and are just too boring to speak to.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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