X Factor star in donkey molesting scandal
Rising star Charlene Uddermilk, of X Factor fame, has been arrested for allegedly molesting a donkey. Charlene has reached the final 12 in the overhyped singing contest, and revealed exclusively to "The Moon" newspaper this morning that she had a pas...Read full story
South Carolina Battens Down Hatches On Rumours Skoob & The Bonkettes Scheduled to "Blow into Town"
Rumours, lies, and palatable fear circulate about this economically distressed beach town, residents paranoid that the first real Hurricane of the Season may soon hit the shore in the form of the outrageous female Rock Group, The Bonkettes. De...Read full story
Gordon Brown to repay expenses
Following the recent expenses scandal, one-eyed Scot Gordon Brown has been forced to reach his tight-fisted hand into his stingy pocket to repay the expenses he has claimed as an MP. With a constituency home in Fife, he is entitled to claim for tr...Read full story
UK Faces Food Crisis - Cameron Demands Action
Leader of the Opposition, David Cameron tonight demanded urgent government action on the UK food crisis, declaring the situation a national outrage and demanding that Gordon Brown take immediate action, or call an immediate general election. Immed...Read full story
Texas Bans Handgun Phones
Houston - Texas has passed legislation outlawing handgun shaped cell phones. The hand gun shaped cell phones took off here when first introduced here by Smith and Wesson as they came complete with a holster in keeping with Texas's Wild West past...Read full story
ESPN's New Soccer Co Anchor Erin Andrews Says She Can't Get Enough of "The Big Red One!"
Erin Andrews, ESPN's hot new soccer co- anchor, along with popular local commentator, Skoob, the Mope from Manchester, says her latest assignment has been the most 'exciting of my career', and despite being required to be impartial, she can't help ge...Read full story
"FARC off!" Unionists tell Vince Foster's widow
Shergar, Co Louse - (Bloody Sundae): Ulster Unionists were having none of it as Secretary of State Hillary Clinton "ducked bullets and mortar fire" to grandstand in front of the IRA at Stormont today. The former Little Rock bagwoman for Fuerzas Ar...Read full story
Scriptwriter's Strike Halts Jordan
Sub-porn star Jordan, aka Katie Price, faces disaster as her script writer quit, it was reported yesterday. Speaking with the aid of a piece of paper with double-spaced typing in a large sans-serif font on it the silicone-based life-form elaborated...Read full story
Obama Completes Clean Sweep of Nobels
With Monday's prize in economics, all the 2009 Nobel Prizes have been announced. Barack Obama has completed a rare clean sweep of all the Nobels. The Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to Barack Obama for bridging racial divides by calling Kanye West a...Read full story
Search for Suicide Bomber Intensifies
Washington, D.C. - Homeland secretary Napolitano and U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) Assistant Secretary John Morton today announced new initiatives to track down and apprehend notorious Al Qaeda suicide bomber Faleek Mustobar. Must...Read full story
Pope Benedict XVI Denies Sainthood for Obama, Frank & Pelosi: Rectal Bleeding Doesn't Qualify as Stigmata!
Rome, Italy/ Bloody Ass Religious Mess - The world's religious leaders are humming today with the news that President Obama, amongst others of his anointed minions, won't be granted Saint Hood by the Pope. The President's Religious Czar, Reverend...Read full story
Freakish increase in paranormal activity at Seizures Palace
London - (Heeby-Jeebies): A large, purple knob of ectoplasm was seen snaking its way out of the Queen's knickers this afternoon during a seance attended by the Bank of England erectile dysfunction, er...hardship! committee. Governor Mervyn King ve...Read full story
Roman Polansky Admits To Abuse!
Roman Polansky finally broke down in his cell this morning and admitted to a lifetime of abuse! "It's even worse in here in the prison", Polansky was reported saying. "I got nothing else to do so I abuse myself two or three times a day." Appare...Read full story
UK Prime minister caught "with his red hands in the till" fiddling his expenses!
The Rt.Hon. UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown is a "fiddler" and now it's official! After being caught with his red hands in the Government till he has been forced to repay the fiddled amount (tax payers money BTW). Before losing face over the aff...Read full story
Professor Warned School About Student But He Looked Too Silly To Be Taken Seriously
A former professor said he told university administrators six months ago of his concerns about the mental health of a student now accused of stabbing a fellow student right in the chemistry class. She is now recovering from the unexplained attack.Read full story
Heather finally gives EastEnders birth. But who is the father? Ah, yes, meet John Prescott!
Heather, an Eastenders character, most well known for not telling us she is fat or that John Prescott IS the father of her oversized kid, is finally due to give birth next Tuesday, 20 October 2009. Apparently, she will give away that Patrick, the...Read full story
Amy Winehouse Gets New Boob Job!
Amy Winehouse, after being called a boob for the past couple of years, has gone and had a $50,000 boob job, according to a source. Apparently, Amy was tired of her old image and she heard about the possibility of a getting a boob job so she thoug...Read full story
Obama's Halo Can Power the World
The 'Obama Way' think tank has conned up an idea for beating Al Gore over the head by coupling Obama's remarkable halo to the nation's electricity grid. "This way," commented Obama Way's spokesperson, "We can give the world something to talk abo...Read full story
This Is It - Is That It?
The first new song to be released to the public following the death of Michael Jackson four months ago has been panned by critics and fans alike. 'This Is It' is, according to fans, weak, badly produced, cheesy, and just a mess. The song was re...Read full story
Limbaugh Exposed in Scandal With Vibrating Seat Cushion
For the second time in two weeks, a well known media personality has been exposed in a sex scandal that has rocked the media world and their most devoted viewers. Still reeling from the expose of David Letterman and various staffers, the conservativ...Read full story
Lil' Bo wins Best of Show at the Westminster Dog Show!
Bo, President Barack Obama's pet Portuguese Water Dog, known also by his professional name Lil' Bo has won the prestigious Best of Show at the Westminster Kennel Club's annual show at Madison Square Garden. The competition itself is not until next...Read full story
Jay Leno's New Show On The Verge of Being Cancelled
HOLLYWOOD - An unnamed inside source says that the National Broadcasting Company (NBC) says that there is talk that they may pull the plug on The Jay Leno Show. The inside source who spoke on grounds of anonymity said that he heard two of the top...Read full story
New Electric Cars Spearhead Alien Invasion
As reported earlier, the new electric car manufacturer "Electric Cars" (trademark applied for) has developed an electric car that runs on nuclear batteries. Wall Street has discovered that the really amazing thing about this electric car is that...Read full story
PM Brown Announces 'Britain's Going Out of Business' Sale: Labour Leader's Desperate Financial Moves Seen as "Blind Leading the Stupid!"
London, UK/ Financial Times - beleaguered Labour Prime Minister, Gordon Brown announced his financial plan to rescue Britain from a 175 Billion Pound (not ounces) deficit by selling off some of the country's most prized assets. Brown has been unde...Read full story
Rep. Barney Frank Named "Queen of The AC-DC D.C. Gay Pride Parade"
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Rep. Barney Frank, of Massachusetts, one of six states to approve gay unions, has been elected by a landslide vote as the 2009 Queen of The AC-DC D.C. Gay Pride Parade. Barney Frank (pronounced BARN-ey WIE-ner) said that he has...Read full story
Man With The World's Smallest Penis Website Falls To #2
Penis Minus Wilson (not his real name) own website, LittlePeckle.com has fallen to number two in clicks after staying at #1 for over three years. "There's still a lot of guys out there that click my site to view the photographs because it makes t...Read full story
Sex Tourism in Paris: Sarkozy's Boost to French Economy
The French Ministry of Finance has declared Paris an 'open city' for tourists seeking sex. 'Forget that certain Asian country ...! Welcome to Paris because here is whatever your heart and body desire', will be the slogan that visitors arriving at...Read full story
'How The Prize Was Won' starring Barry O'Nobody premieres today
The long-awaited Hollywood blockbuster 'How The Prize Was Won' had its premiere today in Stockholm, Illinois, and was attended by many stars. The movie, that lasts 3 hours, stars Barry O'Nobody as a homeless drifter in America, who one day goes to...Read full story
Hillary shot at by snipers again in Belfast
Just as US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton had landed at Belfast International Airport today, it was reported that she had come under fire from Loyalist gunmen. 'Man, it was scarey!', she said, from the famous Delusions Hotel, 'bullets were fly...Read full story
Problem Estates For The Affluent
Problem estates used to be thought of as being run-down council estates where problematic families from poor backgrounds with undisciplined children lived, mostly on council estates, but there is a new breed of problem estate and it is affecting the...Read full story
Dimmer Switches: Energy Saving Light Bulbs Could Result In Duller Students
In recent years most of us will have heard of SAD Seasonally Affected disorder - which is down to the lack of daylight which has an effect on how happy people are. Too little daylight makes everyone feel more gloomy and researchers at Bridgeknob Univ...Read full story
Colorado Springs, Colorado - A spokesman for the law offices of Sosigenes, Julius, Lilius and Gregory has announced the filing of a class action lawsuit against 9/11 (AKA September 11th 2001, AKA Nine Eleven) by a group of calendar dates that are all...Read full story
Networks retooling their slogans
The ongoing sluggish economy, which has deeply cut into the money advertisers are willing to part with, and the ever widening offering of TV fair, which has stretched and thinned out audiences, has the old guard tinkering with their business plans. T...Read full story
Malia Obama: storm in an A-cup
Washington - (Georgetown): "The security service has absolutely no comment!" reporters were told yesterday as all eyes were fixed very firmly on Pastor Mike Angell, preaching before the First Family at St John's, Lafayette Square yesterday. "The W...Read full story
Man sustains bullet wound on world's highest water chute
Titusville, Florida. Water park tycoon Chester Draws rues the day he chose his famous catch phrase after being shot by business partner John Dodge last week during the opening of the largest water chute in history; it's 3Km high. Photographer Car...Read full story
Horse repairs car with prosthetic leg
A woman from Devon tells the story of Mr Horse the helpful horse from Derbyshire. Mrs Mabel Able (45, widow) ran into problems when one of the wheels of her car fell off whilst driving through the Derbyshire moors. "The car began to swerve and...Read full story
New Michael Jackson song released today
I have learned that the new Michael Jackson song has been completed using Jackson's actual vocal cords transplanted into a monkey who was born with none. Jackson's post mortem management agent told me, "Jackson's wish was that the monkey be allowe...Read full story
Infallible polygraph test causes 534 Congressional suicides
OREM, Utah -- Dr. Richard Cranium, President of his own personal think tank, the Institute of Determining Infallibility Of Truth (IDIOT) announced his team's success in coming up with the world's first definitively accurate test for determining wheth...Read full story
Steven Gerrard talks frankly about his Magic Roundabout addiction
Dougal the dog, Dillon the rabbit, Brian the snail, Ermitrude the cow were sitting on the mantel piece in Steven Gerrards luxury home in Merseyside, as I interviewed him about his Magic Roundabout addiction. Every top player has a way of handling...Read full story
Tide pushes the bounds of physics
SECRET FACILITY, Secret Location - Proctor and Gamble, long known to be the front organization for Satan, is believed to be trying to disrupt the very fabric of our universe with its continually "new and improved" Tide. For the past sixty plus ye...Read full story
Why Did President Obama Win the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize?
Why did President Obama win the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize? This is the question circulating all over the Internet. First, let's take a look at just a few of President Obama's broken campaign promises: Are we out of Iraq? No. Did he close Guantanomo Bay? No. Did he improve the US relationship with Afghanistan? No. Did he end income tax for seniors making less than $50,000 per year? N...Read full story
Flatulence dysfunction cure discovered
Dallas, TX - Dr. Bret Holiday of the Austin Flatulence Dysfunction Therapy Center held a brief press conference to announce that his clinic is seeking subjects for a flatulence dysfunction drug treatment study. "Flatulence dysfunction (FD) is not...Read full story
OctuMom Sells Photographs of Her Vagina To Roman Polanski
LA HABRA, California - OctuMom admitting that she is having financial problems has revealed that she has agreed to sell intimate nude photos of her crotch cookie to Roman Polanski who is presently incarcerated in a jail in Zurich, Switzerland. Pol...Read full story
Jaime Foxx To Star In "Oops The Kanye West Story"
HOLLYWOOD - Jaime Foxx, who has starred in Booty Call, Ali, Ray, and Biff has just signed to portray Kanye West in 20th Century Fox's Oops, The Kanye West Story. Jaime said that he is looking forward to portraying the man who in just one fell swoo...Read full story
NASA in a Panic as Moon Slowly Deflates!
Huoston,Tx.-The United States' space Agency, NASA, is quietly panicking over the discovery that the device it sent crashing into the moon, has punctured the shell of the small satellite, which is now slowly deflating. "What was once a beautiful fu...Read full story
The View's Sherri Shepherd Wins The 2009 Biggest Liar Award
LOS ANGELES - One of the five co-hosts of the View, Sherri Shepherd has just been nominated and won (hands down) the 2009 Biggest Liar Award. Several months ago the 342 pound Shepherd made a promise to the audience that she would slim down and get...Read full story
President to divorce Michelle
Washington, D.C. - The Beltway was embroiled by controversy today as it was announced by White House spokesman Robert Gibbs that the President is divorcing Michelle on the grounds of her lying about her ancestry. Submitted already to the Family Court...Read full story
Striptease Joint Unearthed at Spoof Headquarters
A swine flu scare recently made it necessary to disinfect headquarters at The Spoof. That was when the striptease joint was found, hidden in a false wall behind the Spoof Discussion Forum. Investigation reveals that several male Spoofers have bee...Read full story
Gordon Brown has Tears in his Retina
Hang-dog expressioned, unelected supreme leader (read dictator) of Great Britain, Gordon Brown has been diagnosed has having tears in his retinas. A bit rich given that most of the nation has had tears in its eyes since the start of his reign of mise...Read full story
Respectable, well to do family man dies suddenly
A happy go lucky, respectable, and young man with a family has been murdered on the streets of the UK by a vicious gang of youths. This sort of event is occurring on an alarmingly more regular basis, and results in heartache amongst communities of...Read full story
NASA fires first shot at lunar Taliban
NASA's cover story about searching for water on the dark side of the Moon is just that, a cover story. Biden ordered lunar strike based on specific independently collaborated intelligence (i.e., radio static) and a hunch that if Osama Bin Laden...Read full story
Organ shortage solved via 'Day of Surgical Giving'
Denver, CO - How can fifty-five uninsured people get insurance for free AND solve an organ shortage in Colorado? Fifty-five people without health insurance are going under the knife in a local butcher shop here, according to my source, the butcher...Read full story
Cardiff Child Solves Missing Link
A peculiarly Welsh affair took place these past few months on a sleepy street on the outskirts of Cardiff at the bottom of a hill covered in course grass and brown bracken where only the odd sheep and hare compete with morning dew. In this Welsh...Read full story
Oxygen shortage stikes Arizona, claims scientist
PAYSON, AZ - Dr. Harold B. Phallistra of the Payson Institute For Advanced Studies (PIFAS), claimed today in a small press conference held in the lobby of the Institute, that a recent spate of tree deaths in the area has led to an oxygen shortage in...Read full story