Romanian boat from Belfast sunk - BNP's Griffin & Ex PM Thatcher in dock
Following his 'sink the immigrant boats' statement yesterday and the devastating loss of over 200 people on a Ferry from Belfast to Liverpool, Fuhrer Nick Griffin of the BNP and elderly Ex Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher were immediately arrested wi...
Read full storyInternet Cops Trap Aging Spoofers in Cyber Honey Trap!
Times Square, NY, NY - In a bizarre internet sting, agents from Interpol, the FBI , Home Land Security and the Border Control, cooperated to shut down a lurid cyber sex ring promising intimate contact with a barely legal, marginally literate Female...
Read full storyThe 2009 Miley Cyrus - Amy Winehouse Tour
LONDON - In what some music critics are calling probably the most unusual pairing of performers to ever go on tour Miley Cyrus and Amy Winehouse will be kicking off their tour next month in Calcutta, India. The Cyrus-Winehouse Tour which is being...
Read full storyYates of the Yard plays a counter-intelligence blinder
London - (News of the Screws Ass Mess): "Rupert Murdoch? I know n-o-t-h-i-n-g!" Assistant Commissioner John Yates told reporters today in his most sheepish impersonation of Fawlty Towers waiter Manuel. Earlier Scotland Yard had been instructed by...
Read full story"Goodbye Mr Chips"
St Bingo's was sad to say goodbye to its legendary science master, Mr Chips. After nearly 30 years he was leaving to take up a position at Ronnie Kray High School for Homicidal Maniacs. The staff room will be a much quieter place. PE master Dick Phil...
Read full storyScience - Man Proved Right?
A recent scientific study carried out whilst driving to work, statistically proved that while driving, candidate A made the correct decision 100% of the time, whilst candidate B was more likely to be incorrect 100% of the time regardless of the opini...
Read full storyNick Griffin In Europe. Diary
Monday Met up with Andrew for our journey to Brussles. On the Eurostar train and nobody else in the same carriage. I congratulated Andrew on his booking an empty carriage. "Er, actually boss it's an empty train. Nobody wanted to travel with us." I laughed at his wonderful joke. Tuesday Went out for a drink in Brussels. But there was a shortage of beer. Every bar I came to didn't have...
Read full storyMysterious Virgin Appears In Irish Village
A mysterious virgin figure has appeared in the stump of a felled tree. The figure has shown itself in Rathklee, Co Limerick. It has caused quite a stir as it is thought to be the only virgin in the village. Eoin O'Gill, local mayor, said "The lads ca...
Read full storyBritish Diplomat Quits Russia In Porno Vid Scandal
A British diplomat has been forced to quit Russia following the posting of a seedy home made porno video on the internet. Earl Grey was the Deputy Deputy to the Deputy Consular Deputy in Ekaterinaberg, a prosperous mining city deep inside Russia.
Read full storyCIA Panetta Reveals "Everything"
CIA Director Leon Panetta elaborated on remarks that Cheney "wanted terrorists to attack the United States" and "the CIA lied to Congress." Begin Partial Transcript: Cheney frequently traveled to Iran, Yemen, Afghanistan, and northwest Pakistan. He would arrive at al-Qaida training camps after Mullahs called for martyrs in jihad, and if crowds would seem listless and bored, he would become v...
Read full storyHarry Potter 'seriously influenced by Satan'
At a charity event in Barcelona Harry Potter author JK Rowling admitted yesterday to have had help while writing her bestselling books on the little, by now quite hairy and grown up, magician. Amid screaming fans, many of whom adults dressed in silly ways, the author revealed all. I now have the exclusive transcript of her interview with Spain's main television hunk Juan Carlos Rodriguez of br...
Read full storyConfidential Memo Leaked
Washington, DC - A secret White House memo has been obtained by me. Setting out in detail the "Czaration" of United States Government, it clearly outlines the virtual castration of the US Congress as an effective policy making and pork producing b...
Read full storyGrow Taller Ad Exposed As Fraud
An advertisement on satirical website TheSpoof.com promising that people could grow in length by 2 to 3 inches in as many weeks has been exposed as fraudulent. Government spokesman Ronan Keating RN (Retd) told me: "It's that bloody website agai...
Read full storyCold War rears its ugly head as Russian Air Farce starts tasering own planes
Washington AC/DC - (Aldrich Ames Ass Mess): Leslie Naked Gun/Spy Hard Nielsen's former stuntman/lookalike Colonel General Aleksandr Zelin is not a happy bunny. The Commander-in-Chief of the Russian Air Force has been summoned to the Kremlin to ex...
Read full storyMichael Jackson to be Buried at Boys Town
In accordance with his wishes, Michael Jackson will be buried in a special crypt at Boys Town in Omaha, Nebraska. "I loved little boys so much," the dead "King of Pop" said in a secret suicide note found in his purse at his autopsy, "I want to b...
Read full storyOscar Mayer's Wienermobile Crashes into Giant Doughnut; police in hot pursuit
Inglewood, California - Just moments after hearing the news of Oscar Mayer's death, Juan Rodriguez, a distraught employee at the Oscar Mayer Food Processing plant number 3 in Inglewood, California, stole the company's Oscar Mayer Weinermobile, taking...
Read full storyOldest Bible ever discovered turns out to be a collection of kiddies stories and nursery rhymes!
Recently somewhere between Sinai and Walthamstow, UK, the oldest ancient Bible was discovered. Scientists restoring the Bible have found to their shock and horror that the ancient Bible is just a collection of kiddies stories and nursery rhymes from...
Read full storyTop 13 Reminders To Zip Up, But Not On "Little Buddy"
13. I spy.....Old One-Eye! 12. Are you the Fruit of the Loom Banana? 11. I see the curtain has lifted on the Punch & Pecker Show! 10. Looks like little Michael's out for a moon walk. 9. "Oh you can call me long-necker, or you can call me pecker, but you dassent has to call me, Mr. Johnson!" 8. So, Mr. Reubens, been back to the theater I see. 7. Elvis The Pelvis has left th...
Read full storyIndiana U. To Honor Michael Jackson By Changing The Name Hossiers To Moon Walkers
BLOOMINGTON, Indiana - The Indiana University Dean of Athletics Barley W. Stanislaus has informed the media that the university will be changing the mascot name from Hossiers to Moon Walkers in honor of Michael Jackson. Stanislaus said that they h...
Read full storyAncient Pornography Discovered
Great Rift Valley, AFRICA - Archaeologists have found the earliest documented manmade pornographic images, estimated to be over 100,000 years old. Previously, an 1854 photograph of Mary Todd Lincoln's calf was thought to be the earliest pornography...
Read full storyLohan, Ronson Back Together, Lohan Facing Lawsuit
Apparently Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are back together because several fan sites are reporting that the two are moving out of their current residence after discovering they were on a Celebrity Bus Tour. Lindsay and her DJ girlfriend, whose...
Read full storyPlanet Earth Only 117 Years Old
Recently Sate Sen. Sylvia Allen of Arizona caused an uproar in the press when she stated that the Earth is 6,600 years old, using the Christian Bible as her time reference. Geologist meanwhile have long held that the earth is actually billions of yea...
Read full storyDC Shocker! Biden Resigns, Claims He Doesn't Want to Be Known as Lame Dick!
Washington,DC/ Washington Post/ The Inside News You're Willing to Pay For - In a shocking unprecedented action, Joe Biden announced he was stepping down as President Obama's Vice President, and official "Watch Dog", citing increasing, unrelenting m...
Read full storyCake of the Month
Beatles Cake To mark the 42nd anniversary of the release of Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band this month's cake has been inspired the Fab Four. You will need: ½ tsp pepper 1 strong cup of tea 20g Kellogg's corn flakes 4 tbs honey ¼ packet margarine(past use-by date) 1 large onion, sliced 150ml yellow matter custard 2 scrambled eggs 1tsp mustard ¼ oz marijuana 4tbs c...
Read full storyWhere Is Michael Jackson's Brain?
Michael Jackson will not be buried until his brain is returned to his family, a family spokesman told The Inquisitor Wednesday. The singer's brain was removed for toxicology tests to determine the cause of his death after he passed away of a susp...
Read full storyEscaped Inmates Caught In Branson Attractions
Branson, MO-Four inmates who escaped from Oklahoma on Thursday were caught Friday in Branson. Because, if you ever escape from prison you should go directly to Branson, MO where dreams come true. The men were caught in pairs at different times of...
Read full storyMichael Jackson's ghost is exhausted and needs a rest
Michael Jackson's spirit is in a state of extreme exhaustion following an unprecedented series of appearances since his earthly body's demise. According to mediums the world over, Jackson's spirit has been apppearing in a bewildering number of pla...
Read full story20-Year-Old Snotty Little Speckled-Faced Boogertown Punk Complains Of Age Discrimination
Passed over for a promotion at the Boogertown Hordees, little 20-year-old pissy-britches Brandon Fartface Willson had the gall to file a lawsuit against this wonderful restaurant Monday, claiming to be a victim of age discrimination of all things. "Just because someone has 25 more years of experience, that doesn't automatically make him more qualified than my young client," said rat-faced, liq...
Read full storyAndy Murray supporters takeover Neverland
In breaking news, Andy Murray is God supporters have launched an unprecedented invasion of Michael Jackson's former home, Neverland. The northern Californian property was breached by a human battering ram of some 20 000 rabid Andy Murray fanatics...
Read full storyEmma Watson shows her wet pussy at film premiere
It was brollies, waterproof macs, supermarket bags over the head and general winter clothing at the Leicester Square premier of the new Harry potter film "Order of the Phoenix". Thanks to the torrential rain that greeted the stars and fans alike,...
Read full storyOscar Mayer Dies a "Gyros" Death at 95 -- found dead in Sandwich meat locker
Los Angeles, California - "He'd always be in here harassing the customers by trying to get them to order a baloney sub sandwich. But they'd always refuse," said Paul Gonzales, franchise deli manager. "They'd tell to his face: 'Look mister,' they'd sa...
Read full storyPalau Pleas for More Financial Aid After Becoming Obama Dumping Ground for Spoof Writers and Other Terrorists!
Koror, Palau/ Island Times/Financial/Travel Section Special Edition - This Pacific collection of 258 Islands under the Protection of the US, is demanding additional financial aid with the recent deluge of Spoof Journalists being dumped due to the...
Read full storyHelen Thomas Awakes From Twenty Year Nap, Finds Communists in The White House
Khanty-Mansiysk,Siberia-Long time white house correspondent Helen Thomas awoke with a start from a twenty year nap to discover that a communist had taken over the presidency. The visibly disturbed Ms. Thomas then launched into a horrendous verbal ass...
Read full storyLives Thrown Away In Lib Dems
Nick Clogg today claimed that countless young lives were being thrown away in the Lib Dems. "What does it achieve? Does it really help our society? I don't think so. I see these brave young people joining up and going out to fight elections in far fl...
Read full storySpoof Writer Complains Over Channel 4 Nudity
Earl Grey, a contributor to TheSpoof.com, today complained about a tv program on Channel 4 which shows full frontal nudity. "I was listening to test match special. At lunch I checked on the internet. There was a headline about full frontal luncht...
Read full storyMet Police To Emigrate To China
The Metropolitan Police announced today that it is leaving the UK and going to live in China. Recent reports suggested that the Met may have been over zealous in its policing of demonstrations. Now it is seeking the opportunity to police without any...
Read full storyObama Spoof Critic Offered a Choice: Bermuda or Palau Plus $90k Year to "Knock it Off, Or Else!"
Langley, Va./ CYA Spook News - Undercover sources are reporting that a concerted effort is being made by a covert team of Presidential Apologists to conduct a nationwide roundup of rogue Spoof Writers that are proving to be a pain in the ass to the...
Read full storyBank Of Mugabe-Advertisement
Welcome, my friends, to the Bank of Mugabe. The Bank that likes to say "Hands up! Give me all your property". The Bank of Mugabe is proud to call for foreign investment. Bring your money to us. You'll never see it again. Our founding father, Mr M, says "I promise to share your money in the same way that I share power-by committing murder and other nasty crime." The Bank of Mugabe. Because we...
Read full storyWe Can Bring Salvation Back - Spoof Writers Pledge
A coalition of writers for satirical website theSpoof.com today pledged to bring salvation to long suffering readers after a barrage of Jade Goody/Michael Jackson stories. A spokesman for the coalition told us: "Redemption will come in the form...
Read full storyBNP Members Can Only Count Up To 1
BNP members can only count up to 1 and have no sense of humour, a recent study found. BNP leader Dick Sniffin was asked to count up to three. "er...one....er...one....another one". This poor showing illustrated just how dumb their organisation really...
Read full storyIs Rev Al A Racist Or Just A Poor Deluded Soul Who Thinks He Can Pull A Fast One Over On Whitey
Oxford, Oxfordshire, UK - Today the Oxford debating society is examining the question 'Is Rev Al A Racist Or Just A Poor Deluded Soul Who Thinks He Can Pull A Fast One Over On Whitey'. Representing the position that 'Rev Al Is A Racist' is Nigel...
Read full storyPolice: Prescott Tapped Calls "Nauseating"
London, England - Police have described the tapping of the mobile phones of John Prescott, former New Labour Deputy, by News International Journalists as "Nauseating. Against all moral laws." Thousands of phones belonging to politicians, entertainers...
Read full storyDust Man Chapter 2: Holy Bin Liners!
Dave Rice was a dust man. That much everyone knew. A cheery soul who was always ready to lend a helping hand. Yet Dave Rice was not just a dust man. No. He was the DUST MAN. A masked super hero who knew no fear. The DUST MAN kept the citizens of West Cheam safe from the evil Dr XS. Dave was in the yard with the other members of his crew: Charlie Patel, a rather bitter individual who once had...
Read full storyAl Cowlings To Transport Michael Jackson's Brain To The Cemetery
Beverly Hills, CA Former O.J. Simpson BFF, Al Cowlings, has been conscripted to drive the brain of Michael Jackson back to Forest Lawn Cemetery from the Coroner's office, so that it may be reunited with the late singer's body, thus ending a rather le...
Read full storyMax Clifford Was Simon Cowell's Boyfriend Shock Possibility
Max Clifford who rose to fame as Frank Sinatra's door opener in the 1960's was, "shocked, stunned and sickened" by The News Of The World's underhand methods of data gathering by using phone-taps. "I would personally have used genital electrode or...
Read full storySahel Kamezi Was An Al Qaeda Operative And Steve McNair Was C.I.A.
Washington, DC - Shocking news uncovered in Washington late last evening regarding star-crossed haters, Sahel Kamezi and Steve McNair. Sources have confirmed that Sahel Kamezi, the supposed waitress and mistress of former NFL quarterback Steve McNair...
Read full storyACME Corporation products now available to General Public.
ACME Corporation, the company that supplies any and every type of gadget a cartoon character might need have announced they're going to expand their empire so that normal people in TV land can experience the benefit of their products. Mr.Walter Gr...
Read full storyBerlusconi Seduces Michelle Obama
Serial womaniser and part time Italian President Silvio Berlusconi has scored with Michelle Obama. He was seated beside her at the welcome dinner for the world leaders attending the G8 summit. There was some chat, many smiles and some very obvi...
Read full story'Idiot' Hitler Refuses To Resign
Adolf Hitler has refused to resign following his recent controversial remarks. Hitler was branded an idiot for saying "Bernie Ecclestone gets things done. I really admire his leadership qualities. Ok, so F1 has not been a great success but I don't th...
Read full storyIsle of Wight To Become A University
The isle of Wight is to become a University. The Government has announced the plan in a bid to deal with the massive increase in applications for University places. Lord Mandy of Mandysson said "Promising a University place for all was a big mistake.
Read full storyPrince Charles : "Ban Arseholes!"
Prince Charles has delivered the Dumbledore lecture at Hogwarts. In his speech he calls for greater environmental awareness. "I am very concerned about the damage arseholes do to the atmosphere. Toxic gases are being released which are damaging the O...
Read full storyMPs To Quiz Mark Lowton Over Phone Tapping
MPs are to quiz TheSpoof.com editor Mark Lowton over allegations of phone tapping. Keith Jazz, Labour MP and cushion lover, said "we are fed up with the truth being published in the Spoof.com. We believe that all the writers must be benefiting from p...
Read full storyTwilight Star Kristen Stewart Pregnant With Robert Pattinson's Baby?
Twilight Co-stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are soon to be the parents of a new baby. The story was broken first by an Australian magazine. Neither of the stars has officially confirmed the rumour, and their publicists have not returned...
Read full storyLisa Marie Presley To Adopt Macaulay Culkin and Shaheen Jafargholi
HOLLYWOOD - It is being reported that Lisa Marie Presley who has just been given custody of Michael Jackson's three children will now be adopting Macaulay Culkin and Shaheen Jafargholi. Lisa Marie who was married to Michael Jackson for two years s...
Read full storySarah Palin Denies Divorce Rumors
WASILLA, Alaska - Soon to be ex-Governor Sarah Palin is strongly denying rumors that she and her husband Todd are getting a divorce. The governor wanted to make it perfectly clear that the divorce rumors are just that...rumors. She said that s...
Read full storyCalifornia Going Bankrupt Paying For Jackson Memorial.
This week in Los Angeles thousands amassed to pay a final homage to the god of their pop world, Michael Jackson. A fortunate 17,500 out of the 1.6 million who applied were chosen from a lottery to attend a special memorial service in his honor. F...
Read full storyThe Turtles Shut Down JFK Runways
Once surfer rock group The Turtles have long suffered with the notion that they were the first true one hit wonders of the modren rock era. Whenever anyone says The Turtles the only song that they can name is that brain plaguing lyric, Happy Together...
Read full storySpoof Think Tank Experts Have Discovered Secret Of Why Readers Don't Rate Articles.
After months of exhausting research upper level TheSpoof.com think tank experts have discovered why most readers of the world's third most accurate daily news machine (lagging shortly behind the National Enquirer and Viz magazine) do not rate the art...
Read full storyBritain Wants Its Own Gitmo in Nigeria: Our Penals Are Better Than Yours
The rivalry over war and peace, welfare and forced work has been waging of late between the United Kingdom colonizer and the United States of America colonists. The latest, newest source of competition has broken out over the confinement of foreign p...
Read full storyConservatives Attack Miss Obama for Wanting Peace Not Pregnancy
Young Malia Obama has a mind of her own and that intellect told the world this week that peace not war and nuclear disarmament not an arms race were what the world needs now. US conservative media and political loons attacked Miss Obama for wearing h...
Read full storyKing of pop alive and well
The Hemorhoid weekly - When 56 year old cola executive Martin Jefferson opened his newspaper one morning he thought there was a mistake. The headline read "MJ dead. Fans mourn the loss of the king of pop." The cola CEO was in disbelief. "I couldn...
Read full storyN. Korea Launched Cyber Attack Using a Commodore 64 Personal Computer?
Washington, D.C. - The White House has confirmed today that North Korea launched a cyber attack against the United States government and Wall Street last week, using a Commodore 64 KB personal computer. Though the cyber attack was easily fended o...
Read full storyPoorly Planned Murder/Suicide Leaves One Dead
Baltimore, MD - The town of Perry Hall, a suburb in Baltimore County, was the scene of a grisly murder/suicide gone horribly wrong. Police responded to a call from the distressed long-time boyfriend of Ema Nymton, James Spalding, stating that Nym...
Read full storySuspended top Downing Street law chief link to FBI arrest of six Sky Capital boiler room scam brokers
Off-the-Wall Street, NY - (Boiler Room Ponzi Scam Mess): A suspened top government law chief at the UK's Judicial Committee of the Privy Council has been linked to today's NYC FBI bust of six Sky Capital fraudsters involved in a multi-million-dollar...
Read full storyWarships to be Built in Iowa
Des Moines IA: Edam Gouda has proposed building submarines, surface warships and some commercial vessels in Iowa. As the president's Jobs Creation Czar, Edam has asked President Obama for $500 billion in additional stimulus funding for project "SHIP...
Read full storyBargis Tryhol Agent 004 Chapter Five - The Bunker Briefing
Bargis sauntered into Richmond underground CIA headquarters. Making his usual sardonic quip to buxom Moonlit Day he was stopped in his tracks to see agent QT had managed to arrive before him. Jumping up and down with excitement she ran up to Bargis and chirped into his ear, "The director wants to see us right away." A tone rang out signaling Moonlit Day who ushered the two agents into the direc...
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