A mysterious virgin figure has appeared in the stump of a felled tree. The figure has shown itself in Rathklee, Co Limerick. It has caused quite a stir as it is thought to be the only virgin in the village. Eoin O'Gill, local mayor, said "The lads came and told me that they'd found a virgin. well. I never believed a word of it. But it's true. None of the lads have screwed a tree yet."
People are coming from as far away as Knockaderry and Garryspillane to visit the amazing sight. The catholic church has remained cautious as they are unsure just how much money could be made out of the scene. Father Pat Pocock said "We still don't know if this is another Knock. If it is then grand. But it could be another case like the one in Limavady. We thought the face of Jesus had appeared on Ian Paisley's arsehole. It turned out to be just some untidy anal hair."
For now the religious debate will continue. But soon pilgrims from as far away as Roscommon will arrive. Will they be on holy ground or in holy shit?
