Cake of the Month

Funny story written by jackie_from_accounts

Thursday, 9 July 2009

image for Cake of the Month

Beatles Cake

To mark the 42nd anniversary of the release of Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band this month's cake has been inspired the Fab Four. You will need:

½ tsp pepper
1 strong cup of tea
20g Kellogg's corn flakes
4 tbs honey
¼ packet margarine(past use-by date)
1 large onion, sliced
150ml yellow matter custard
2 scrambled eggs
1tsp mustard
¼ oz marijuana
4tbs cranberry sauce
1 tin corned beef, drained (optional)
150g cold turkey (optional)
1 lemon

For the topping and decoration:

1 packet ready made icing
black food colouring
8 strawberries
2 tangerines cut into pieces
1 savoy truffle
Cocktail sticks

Wednesday morning at five o clock as the day begins, make a cup of tea. The Beatles liked their cuppas and up North they like it strong so leave it to brew and proceed to the next step whenever you're ready.

Take the scrambled eggs and throw them away (this what McCartney did remember?) In fact, McCartney replaced scrambled eggs with "Yesterday" and the closest thing we could find to represent yesterday is some out-of-date margarine (if you happen to have some marg from 1967 even better!).

We chose cornflakes to remember how a Kellogg's TV advert inspired Lennon to write a song about not having very much to do. Lennon also sat on a cornflake in "I am the Walrus". Crush the cornflakes in a bowl while singing Lennon's "Good Morning, Good Morning". Next add the honey. Many Beatles songs mention honey so we just couldn't resist leaving it out! While you're mixing you could choose to sing "Honey Pie" or "Honey Don't".

Throw in the onion. A real onion is used to symbolise the glass onion mentioned in Lennon's song "Glass Onion". Do not try to "look through" the onion. Next pour in the custard. We all remember Lennon's line "Yellow matter custard dripping from a dead dog's eye" although we hope this doesn't make the recipe sound too off-putting! Remember it's The Beatles we're commemorating so it's all good.

Add the remaining ingredients except for the meat and give it all a good stir. Transfer to a glass dish. Add slices of cold turkey and corned beef on top (sorry Paul!). Corned beef represents the impoverished Liverpudlian childhood that the Beatles had to endure but these ingredients can be left off if you'd prefer to keep it veggie/child friendly. Add a dash of lemon. We chose lemon because it sounds like Lennon.

Leave out in an English garden. Wait for the sun for 3 hours. You could use this time to work out what other Beatles references we used to select our ingredients as we haven't bothered to explain them all.

When it is done, add the icing. With the food colouring paint on some black stripes to give the effect of ebony and ivory. Next, if you're not already singing "Strawberry Fields" by this point, start decorating with those strawberries! Now here's the fun part - place the tangerine pieces onto cocktail sticks and arrange into neat rows so that they look like tangerine trees. Place Savoy truffle at centre.

Cut into four fabulous slices.

Enjoy with red wine or you could even try throwing some marshmallows up into the air to create your own marshmallow sky. Use your imagination!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more