The Metropolitan Police announced today that it is leaving the UK and going to live in China. Recent reports suggested that the Met may have been over zealous in its policing of demonstrations. Now it is seeking the opportunity to police without any rules.
"We kill one bloke and look at all the hassle! Go to China and we can kill hundreds and get away with it. Fuck it, we're off!" said PC Derrick Winebottle.
The Met are hoping for some new uniforms and shiny truncheons in their new job. The current outfits are slightly dated and are not intimidating enough. In London the mayor, Boris Bonkers said that he had a replacement for the Met lined up. "Cripes, lumey. I've asked Katie Price to take over. I think she's a very arresting sight. Fnarr fnarr. Toot toot. Jibber jabber!"