Warships to be Built in Iowa

Funny story written by Philbert of Macadamia

Thursday, 9 July 2009

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Des Moines IA: Edam Gouda has proposed building submarines, surface warships and some commercial vessels in Iowa. As the president's Jobs Creation Czar, Edam has asked President Obama for $500 billion in additional stimulus funding for project "SHIP MAX."

The rationale for selecting Iowa is that the major US shipyards are located on the crowded Eastern seaboard, the Pacific coast or the Gulf coast. The threat of North Korean and Iranian missiles makes Iowa a perfect out of the way place for this endeavor, saving the current administration the expense of installing a defensive anti-missile system.

Edam has put together a consortium of contractors and investors who will front the entire shipyard funding, except for money needed to build any ship transit canals, widen existing rivers and to dredge the Mississippi river. The premise is that new long term high paying construction jobs will be created, as pig farmers and corn growers seek employment as canal builders, dredge operators, welders and pipefitters. There will be technical jobs for University of Iowa graduates in science and engineering. Additionally, during the current economic downturn Iowa may see an influx of unemployed skilled workers from other Midwestern states.

President Obama has delegated the decision to provide Edam the $500 billion for the canals and dredging operations to his Shipbuilding Czar, following the US Navy's selection of an appropriate Iowa site on the Mississippi River for the deep water harbor. In the mean time Edam is working on firming up plans to finally bring a major league baseball team to Iowa. A new domed stadium would be built near Waterloo, creating more construction jobs.

There have also been some objections raised in Congress by legislators from neighboring states along the Mississippi River.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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