Recently somewhere between Sinai and Walthamstow, UK, the oldest ancient Bible was discovered. Scientists restoring the Bible have found to their shock and horror that the ancient Bible is just a collection of kiddies stories and nursery rhymes from way back when!
Through the centuries the Bible has been translated, developed and preached by different religious denominations as the direct word of God (who?). A strict guide line and control mechanism for living in the "Godly fashion" and only Muslims with their own version tend to wink an eye, smile pathetic smiles and reject the Bible totally!
Now after this discovery of the most ancient Bible ever to be found and the realisation that the Bible was meant for storytelling in ancient Kindergartens, the whole Christian, Jewish, Protestant world of believers is in uproar and utter disbelief. In fact 6.000.000. practising global Christians have already commited suicide in mass ceremonies because their lives have become utterly worthless and meaningless!
Jesus depicted as the son of God (who?) was just a simple figment of a kiddy storyteller's imagination, way back when. The miracles and wonders that Jesus was supposed to have done are nothing more than fantasies, a lá Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings in modern times!
Ever since then, through history, billions of unbelievers have been murdered and butchered at the hands of religious fanatics. Now it turns out the old/new testament stories are only ancient Noddy, Thomas the Tank Engine, Alice in Wonderland, fantasies and stories, etc.
The Christian/Jewish churches were not willing to comment on this shock historical news, but Muslims laughing all the way to Mekka to see Allah (who?) said, "we told you fucking so!"
