Jacko's Just Jealous

Funny story: Jacko's Just Jealous

LOS ANGELES, CA, USA Psychic spoon-bender and full-time Michael Jackson pimp Uri Gellar clarified the reasons for Jackson's thinly veiled hostility to one-time friend Sir Paul McCartney which culminated in Jacko appropriating the Beatles' catalog be...

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Lance Armstrong and Contador Play Cards

Funny story: Lance Armstrong and Contador Play Cards

Arch-rivals Lance Armstrong and Alberto Contador took a break yesterday from the grueling climbing and descending of the Swiss Pyrenees by taking advantage of an extended flat spot to drop back into the peloton and play a game of cards. After exch...

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Amy's Just Not Civil!

Funny story: Amy's Just Not Civil!

LONDON Tiny tattooed and pierced circus freak cum music sensation Amy Winehouse was acquitted today at London's City of Westminster Magistrates' Court of charges of assault against fan Sherene Flash, who had merely asked to be photographed with the d...

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Turkmenistan Tells Iran to Pipe Down Over There

Funny story: Turkmenistan Tells Iran to Pipe Down Over There

As the political unrest in Iran enters its sixth week, marked by continued protests, marches, and shouting matches between government and opposition forces, Turkmenistan, which shares its southwestern border with Iran, has publicly requested through...

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Police Academy #16 Plays Harvard

Funny story: Police Academy #16 Plays Harvard

Police Academy 16 is about to begin filming with the plot based on the recent arrest of Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates. Bankers refused to finance the film with such an outlandish plot until they glanced at the recent headlines. Only in a Po...

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UK-India deal sees Brit Asbos rehabilitated in New Delhi's school for menacing rogue macaques

Funny story: UK-India deal sees Brit Asbos rehabilitated in New Delhi's school for menacing rogue macaques

WHITEHALL, UK: UK's Labor government has just taken outsourcing to new levels. In a move intended to win the hearts and minds of Britons prior to forthcoming elections the Brown government is attempting to rehabilitate the behavior of British Asbos...

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Ryan Seacrest adds two full-time gigs; Total now 27

Aside from cutting his $45 million deal with Fox to continue on "American Idol," the ubiquitous Ryan Seacrest has reportedly added two new full-time jobs to his already busy schedule. Seacrest will become the Hollywood-based entertainment correspo...

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'The Adventures of Paddington the Obama Bear', by Michael Yawned

Funny story: 'The Adventures of Paddington the Obama Bear', by Michael Yawned

As darkness fell in darkest Africa, people began heading home from their work for their dinners, some on buses and some on trains. But in one railway station in the centre of the city of Paddington, in Ghana, a strange sight could be seen, for sitting all alone with a suitcase in his hand was a small obama bear, with a sign saying 'Please look after this obama. Thank you.' Most of the passers-b...

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Keep an eye out for this revolutionary portable radio

Funny story: Keep an eye out for this revolutionary portable radio

HD radio, a new digitally delivered type of signal transmitted on top of existing AM and FM signals, has had a tough time gaining a foothold in the market. It has long been said that affordable portable HD radios need to be available to make the prod...

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Police Officers running Amuck In Cambridge MA

Funny story: Police Officers running Amuck In Cambridge MA

Cambridge, MA - Hundreds of Cambridge police officers and Middlesex county sheriffs officers went on a rambling rampage in the quite college town of Cambridge today, upset over statements by President Obama. Following Professor Gates arrest that char...

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Caterpillar Refuses To Change Into Butterfly Unless Everyone Looks Away

Funny story: Caterpillar Refuses To Change Into Butterfly Unless Everyone Looks Away

A shy caterpillar has said it will not change into a butterfly while its being watched. The insect is cooped up in its cocoon and refusing to come out unless everyone turns around while it changes. Caterpillar's are usually known for their outrageous behaviour and overt sexual freedom. Many caterpillars have become top models on the catwalks of Milan and Paris. Indeed, Kate Moss was a skinny c...

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Obama Born In Kenya?

Funny story: Obama Born In Kenya?

Radio Talk Show host Glenn Beck has brought the question to the forefront once again. Was President Barack Hussein Obama born in the United States or somewhere else? "Those counterfeiters are really good and no one let anyone from the Republican P...

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Bitter, Spiteful Dwarf Vows Revenge on TheSpoof.com Writers

Funny story: Bitter, Spiteful Dwarf Vows Revenge on TheSpoof.com Writers

A bitter little fucker who formerly wrote on satiric website TheSpoof.com, has vowed to get revenge on the other writers who drove him away. The un-named writer said that he once wrote vaguely comedic stories about the misadventures of minor celeb...

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Man's Attempts to Solve Crossword Puzzle Foiled By Mother

Funny story: Man's Attempts to Solve Crossword Puzzle Foiled By Mother

A man who was attempting to complete a crossword puzzle for the first time in his stupid life was foiled by his own mother's attempts to help him. Johnny Norris was one word away from completing the daily crossword in his local paper but was stuck...

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Woman Buys Leather Sofa To Disguise Husband's Farting

Funny story: Woman Buys Leather Sofa To Disguise Husband's Farting

George Elliot, 52, has been a compulsive farter for the past 20 years of his life after overdosing on All Bran while holidaying in magical Leeds. His wife Eileen has put up with his flatulence for this long but upon receiving news that her sister...

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Worlds Nosiest Dog Spies on Neighbours Cat

Funny story: Worlds Nosiest Dog Spies on Neighbours Cat

A local dog named Rex has been cautioned by police and warned to discontinue his spying activities in the locality after he was caught peeping on a neighbour's cat as it licked itself. 'Rex' - name altered due to legal reasons - is entered...

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Local Man Chops Off His Arms and Legs Just So That He Can Get Access To Disabled Parking

Funny story: Local Man Chops Off His Arms and Legs Just So That He Can Get Access To Disabled Parking

A local man used electric hedge-trimmers to sever his arms and legs from his body just so that he could get access to the only disabled parking space in the area. John Smythe, 42, was sick and tired of never being able to find a parking space when...

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Local Man Who Thinks He's Better Than Everyone Else Gets Rumbled

Funny story: Local Man Who Thinks He's Better Than Everyone Else Gets Rumbled

A local man who went around town acting like he was somehow better than everyone else on his street has been uncovered as being a scummy bastard. Paddy Wagon - who went by the pseudonym 'Sir Archibald Windslow Leech Forsythe III - left the...

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Michael Jackson is Father of Madonna's Malawian Kids

Funny story: Michael Jackson is Father of Madonna's Malawian Kids

Dead superstar Michael Jackson is the father of David and Mercy, the two Malawian children adopted by singer Madonna, so claims a lawyer for the Jackson family. Jackson has been linked to many children in recent weeks, including some freaky-looking...

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Local Man's Nose-Picking Business Goes bankrupt

Funny story: Local Man's Nose-Picking Business Goes bankrupt

Local man Timmy Smullet's 'Nasal Cleansing Service' has gone out of business after his freakishly large hands frightened off customers. Timmy, a former welder from Brighton, started the company in May 2009, but just a few months later it slowly da...

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Boy Meets Girl. Girl Likes Other Boy. Dog Licks Face.

Funny story: Boy Meets Girl. Girl Likes Other Boy. Dog Licks Face.

It was like something from a really shitty mid-week movie: local boy falls madly in love with his next-door neighbour, but she is shagging the local butchers apprentice. It could only end in tragedy - and somebody getting licked by a stray Labrador.

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Yale Psychology Professor Says 90% of Harvard Professors Suffer From Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Funny story: Yale Psychology Professor Says 90% of Harvard Professors Suffer From Narcissistic Personality Disorder

New Haven, CT - Yale professor Janoc Sterling believes that 90% of Harvard professors suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder and there's not a 'bloody thing' anyone can do about it. Speaking on the issue of the arrest of Henry Louis Gates J...

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Paris Does France!

Funny story: Paris Does France!

LOS ANGELES, CA, USA In Paris Hilton's documentary about her life, "Paris, Not France", soon to be aired on MTV, the celebutante insists that she is neither stupid nor a slut, contrary to the image she portrayed of herself during the five seasons of...

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Barack Obama Arrested In Cambridge

(Cambridge-MA) In the wake of the arrest of noted Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr. by the Cambridge police after an alleged break in report at the professor's house, Barack Obama was detained for several hours yesterday evening after an unann...

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Father Charged With Honor Killing Disappointed He Hasn't Made It To CNN

Funny story: Father Charged With Honor Killing Disappointed He Hasn't Made It To CNN

Montreal, CA - A Canadian man who has been charged with the honor killing of his three daughters and his first wife by drowning, is disappointed that he hasn't made it to CNN. Said the man, "...This most surely is one of the most heinous crimes ev...

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Clinton: N. Korea Needs Good Spanking

Funny story: Clinton: N. Korea Needs Good Spanking

Phuket, Thailand - Hillary Clinton angrily announced yesterday from Phuket (pronounced fuh-ket), that she's had it with North Koreans, likening them to little children demanding attention. She expressed the desire to take Kim Jong Il over her kn...

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Swine Flu Believed By Some To Be A CIA Plot To Cull Americans

Funny story: Swine Flu Believed By Some To Be A CIA Plot To Cull Americans

Washington, DC - A new theory has come out that suggests the Swine Flu (H1N1) was designed by the C.I.A. to 'cull' Americans in order to stave off a depression. It is believed that as many as 40% of Americans will come down with Swine Flu in the...

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Cash For Clunkers - Bring Us Your Used Celebrities

Funny story: Cash For Clunkers - Bring Us Your Used Celebrities

Los Angeles, CA - Congress is getting ready to vote on a bill that will allow agents in Hollywood to turn in their used celebrities for cash. "I think after the Michael Jackson debacle, it's time for Hollywood to turn over a new leaf, make a clean...

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Twilight's San Diego Blow-Out! (Pattinson, Stewart, Lautner)

Funny story: Twilight's San Diego Blow-Out! (Pattinson, Stewart, Lautner)

A lot of fans were camping out in San Diego last night, some for their second night in a row, to get to be the first into the San Diego Convention Center. Why? Because these fans were "Twilight" fans and three of their favorites were waiting for them...

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Amy Winehouse Cleared of Assault - Shit Didn't Hit Fan

Funny story: Amy Winehouse Cleared of Assault - Shit Didn't Hit Fan

Amy Winehouse has been cleared of assaulting a dancer in a charity ball in central London last year. Miss Winehouse was found not guilty after it was revealed was that she was drunk, the person she was alleged to have hit was drunk and most of the...

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Amazon: Deleted Book Never Existed

Funny story: Amazon: Deleted Book Never Existed

WASHINGTON - In an embarassing gaffe where Amazon is alleged to have deleted books from consumers' Kindle devices, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos maintains that not only was the book not deleted, it 'never existed to begin with.' The book, a so-called 1984...

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Does Vanessa Hudgens Have A Death Wish?

Funny story: Does Vanessa Hudgens Have A Death Wish?

The latest news on Hollywood On The Web is that Vanessa Hudgen's is further confusing many of her loyal fans as the beautiful young actress seems to be switching personalities off and on daily. One day she's the carefree kid of the musicals and th...

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The KKK Says They Need A Stimulus Package Now!

Funny story: The KKK Says They Need A Stimulus Package Now!

NATCHEZ, Mississippi - The Grand Wizard Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan Coy "BubbaBoy" Helfenberger says that his organization is facing financial ruin unless 'Uncle Sam' steps in and gives them a stimulus package bailout. Helfenberger told a reporter...

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LeAnn Rimes' Boyfriend's Wife Dumps His Cheatin' Butt

Funny story: LeAnn Rimes' Boyfriend's Wife Dumps His Cheatin' Butt

MEMPHIS - The word out of Tennessee is that Brandi Chianti, the wife of LeAnn Rimes' boyfriend Eddie Chianti has just dumped his cheatin' ass butt. Mrs. Chianti's attorney Carabina Bittmaker, 47 said that his client wants the house, the SUV, the H...

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California Passes Crap Tax Brick

Funny story: California Passes Crap Tax Brick

By a vote of 210-202, The State of California has "passed" the largest tax increase in this state's history, the crap tax! Governor Schwarzenegger said today that he will sign it into law as soon as the crap meters are "installed". "We will rai...

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Nadal in hiding as Federer twins born

Funny story: Nadal in hiding as Federer twins born

Basel, Switzerland - (ReUterus & Wild Oats Mess): World number one seed Rafal Nadal is in hiding this weekend following the birth of dead-ringer twin daughters to Mrs Roger Federer. Myla Rose and Charlene Riva were reportedly conceived in Nada...

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Steven Gerrard Not Guilty - Like Michael Jackson

Funny story: Steven Gerrard Not Guilty - Like Michael Jackson

Super Scouser Steven Gerrard was today acquitted at Liverpool Crown Court on charges of affray. Despite video evidence showing Gerrard intimidating, and finally attacking Marcus McGee "like a professional boxer" at the Lounge Inn, in Southport, Me...

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Amy Winehouse Acquitted Of Assault, Now It's Greenpeace!

Funny story: Amy Winehouse Acquitted Of Assault, Now It's Greenpeace!

A judge has acquitted Amy Winehouse of assaulting a fan who asked to take her picture, saying that if she was a fan, as she said, she should have known better than try to flash a shot of her face. District Judge Timothy Workman said he found the 2...

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The McGrane Multiverse Theory

Funny story: The McGrane Multiverse Theory

Professor Donald McGrane gave a lecture on the Multiverse theory at Oxford University yesterday. During the lecture McGrane said "There are more stars in the milky way than there are grains of sand in the sahara desert and there are more galaxies...

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The Microchip Mistake

Funny story: The Microchip Mistake

Catterick Computer Manufacturing of Yorkshire made a big mistake when they asked the office junior Nancy Nutt to order 50,000 Microchips. Nancy phoned up and ordered 50,000 Micro Chips you know the kind you put in the Microwave for 3 minutes. Now the entire staff are eating boxes of Micro Chips and no one is going to ask Nancy to order anything again because when her boss John said that 500 com...

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Osama Nevir Laden Finally Bin Laden

Funny story: Osama Nevir Laden Finally Bin Laden

45-year-old Virgin Shalom Cohen from Tooting, London, who changed his name to Osama Nevir Laden, after converting to Islam 4 years ago, has finally achieved his spiritual goal by changing the name once more to Osama Bin Laden. The great day occurr...

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Andrea McNulty calls for review of Roethlisberger's infamous "quarterback sneak"

Funny story: Andrea McNulty calls for review of Roethlisberger's infamous "quarterback sneak"

THREE RIVERS STADIUM, USA - Andrea McNulty says Ben Roethlisberger called a bad play, then made an illegal use of hands (not to mention certain other parts of his anatomy), and now she wants the alleged personal foul brought up for official review mo...

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The Big Big Big and even Bigger Universe

Funny story: The Big Big Big and even Bigger Universe

Space is big really big you might think its a long way to your nearest newsagent but that's just peanuts compared to space. Scientist John Biggar explained how big space is "There are billions of stars in our galaxy and billions of galaxies in th...

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Speed Swimsuit Row

Funny story: Speed Swimsuit Row

The World Swimming Championships which are being held in Rome are today overshadowed by a major row over a controversial new swimming suit that can improve performance. The governing body have approved the suits even although many swimmers claim it g...

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Environmentalists Go Mental!

Funny story: Environmentalists Go Mental!

HONOLULU, HA, USA In a shocking move the Hawaiian environmental group The Outdoor Circle targeted that much venerated icon of American advertising,the Weinermobile, today. The Weinermobile is a hotdog shaped vehicle which has traveled the highway...

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Obama to Sarkosky: "Get your head out of your ass you French prick!"

Funny story: Obama to Sarkosky: "Get your head out of your ass you French prick!"

A war of words erupted between French President Nicolas Sarkosky and US President Barack Obama Friday afternoon. Sarkosky said of Obama, "He is all style and no class!" Obama fired his own salvo at the French leader calling him, "a complete and tot...

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Taylor Lautner Injures Groin in "Indian Leg Wrestling" Match, Gets Slathered in Curry Paste

Funny story: Taylor Lautner Injures Groin in "Indian Leg Wrestling" Match, Gets Slathered in Curry Paste

GRAND RAPIDS, MI - Taylor Lautner, 17, experienced a bit of culture shock today when he flew to Grand Rapids, Michigan to participate in the Goodland Dairy-sponsored First Annual North American Indian Leg Wrestling Tournament. Lautner, who claims...

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Taco Bell dog dies - Korean Taco Bell introduces new meat taco

Funny story: Taco Bell dog dies - Korean Taco Bell introduces new meat taco

SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA - The legendary Taco Bell chihuahua "Gidget" passed away this morning from a massive stroke. The iconic dog brought cheer to literally billions of people during his stardom as a spokesperson in advertisements for Taco Bell. His cat...

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New Jersey Public Officials Hold "Goin' Outta Bizness" Sale

Funny story: New Jersey Public Officials Hold "Goin' Outta Bizness" Sale

Newark, NJ - The few Public Officials left in the New Jersey towns of Hoboken, Secaucas and Ridgefield, who have not already been taken into custody on charges of political corruption, including the taking of bribes for favors, were holding a going o...

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Michael Vick Plans to Become Dog Vet

Disgraced former football great Michael Vick announced today that he intends to become a veterinarian, specializing in brutally abused canines. "If the NFL lets me play again," Vice declared, "my post-career hope is become a vet and treat maimed...

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Meat Industry Apologises for Swine Flu

Funny story: Meat Industry Apologises for Swine Flu

The International Meat Producers Confederation has apologised unreservedly for the swine flu pandemic, and offered to compensate victims. "Without our livestock rearing practices the H1N1 virus would not have had the uniquely ideal conditions in w...

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Wacko Jacko's Kids Cash Crisis Crushes Katherine!

Funny story: Wacko Jacko's Kids Cash Crisis Crushes Katherine!

LOS ANGELES, CA, USA The world was shocked today when it was revealed that 79 year old Katherine Jackson, mother of the recently deceased King of Pop Michael Jackson, has been reduced to panhandling on freeway off-ramps in Los Angeles to provide food...

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First Annual Hilary Duff Muff Dive to End World Hunger Called Off Due to Loss of Appetite

Funny story: First Annual Hilary Duff Muff Dive to End World Hunger Called Off Due to Loss of Appetite

The first annual Hilary Duff Muff Dive to End World Hunger was called off Friday morning, due to a loss of appetite, said event organizers. "It really is a shame that so many people, world wide, will go hungry because no one wants to eat Ms. Duff's...

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Leaked Morgan Stanley Memo Reveals Wall Street Plans to "Throw Money All Over the Place" When Economy Recovers

Funny story: Leaked Morgan Stanley Memo Reveals Wall Street Plans to "Throw Money All Over the Place" When Economy Recovers

A leaked e-mail from inside investment bank Morgan Stanley that was sent to several news organizations Thursday night shed light on some of the strategies that Wall Street's A-list have for reclaiming their place as the engineers of capitalism when t...

Read full story View 'Leaked Morgan Stanley Memo Reveals Wall Street Plans to "Throw Money All Over the Place" When Economy Recovers'

House Page Injured in Pelosi Explosion Removed from Life Support

Funny story: House Page Injured in Pelosi Explosion Removed from Life Support

Ron Paul IV, the 18-year-old House Page critically injured during Wednesday's explosion of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's head, was removed from life support late Thursday at Georgetown University Proctologic Hospital. His family was at his bedside as...

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OBee! Oh Boy! Oh Brother! Blanket's Bro and Blanket's Mother!

Funny story: OBee! Oh Boy! Oh Brother! Blanket's Bro and Blanket's Mother!

LOS ANGELES, CA, USA Jermaine Jackson issued a statement of support today in the matter of the alleged fourth child of his recently deceased brother, pop star Michael Jackson. In keeping with an old Jackson family tradition, the mother of 25 year...

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Basil Fawlty replaces Barack Obama as American President

Funny story: Basil Fawlty replaces Barack Obama as American President

After months as President of the USA without doing a single thing for the American people, Barack Obama was sacked today, and his place was taken by comic character Basil Fawlty, played by John Cleese. 'Right!', he said, as he went into the White...

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Al Gore Announces Presidential Candidacy in 2010

Funny story: Al Gore Announces Presidential Candidacy in 2010

Washington DC: The Huffington Post (HP) is reporting that former Vice President Al Gore is planning to run for President of the United States in 2010. He candidly let this slip while attending a political luncheon at a downtown hotel. A sharp rep...

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