Prince Charles has delivered the Dumbledore lecture at Hogwarts. In his speech he calls for greater environmental awareness. "I am very concerned about the damage arseholes do to the atmosphere. Toxic gases are being released which are damaging the Ozone layer. Something drastic needs to be done. That's why I am calling for a blanket ban on all arseholes."
The controversial plan received the backing of some famous names. Irish pop legend Boner of rock band me2 said "I agree, as long as rock stars arseholes are excused on tax grounds." Broadcaster Terry Wigon said "I agree with the Prince. Can I have a knighthood?"
The Government was less impressed with the speech. Prince of Darkness and Power Behind the Throne Lord Mandy of Mandysson said "People are very attached to their arseholes. And to the arseholes of others. This could start a panic. And that will surely release even more gas into the atmosphere. The Prince should leave arseholes alone. That's my job."