Don King Drools Over Beckham v Gerrard For World's Best Fighting Footballer.

Funny story: Don King Drools Over Beckham v Gerrard For World's Best Fighting Footballer.

Bent boxing promoter with vertical hairstyle, Don King, today told assembled ranks of pressmen that he was looking to promote a super-middleweight World's Best Fighting Footballer bout between David Beckham and Steven Gerrard. Speaking outside Liv...

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Abracadabra

Funny story: Abracadabra

Cultural differences are fascinating - communicating with owls and spirits, flying at night on brooms, using portions, charms, incantations and practising black magic; in Africa and some parts of Asia that would justify a witch-hunt and a persecution. In the west you would be celebrated as a hero named Harry Potter...

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Text addicted anonymous

Funny story: Text addicted anonymous

TEXT ADDICTED ANONYMOUS CAN HELP YOU - iF u kAn riD diS mSg dEn u Nid hLp… Wii kaN tiCh u 2 g8 Rid oF uR bAd tXt ngLsh. E-Majin ol doz yez in skul, nkluding ol da f-fot re-sauces and tym way-stayed by ur pay-rents to a-due-cat u so u may b abl 2 rid nd ryt, yet u end up txtng ur way thru lyf wheRe it iz not nay-say-surry with an igNorance iz bLiss attiTude. Simply write to: i_am_a_trigger_happy_tx...

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In Pursuit of Enlightenment

Funny story: In Pursuit of Enlightenment

It seems there are many ways to Enlightenment. OPTION 'A': Whilst others take the noble age-old step of embarking on a year-long spiritual journey to the East in pursuit of the meaning and purpose of life. OPTION 'B': The other way is to visit The Enlightened Pub just round the corner and you sure to be enlightened out of your wits after a few shots of the days special spirits… for then afte...

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One Off The Wrist For The Olympics?

Funny story: One Off The Wrist For The Olympics?

Occupational masturbation seems to be a developing trend and is likely to be included in the 2012 Olympics as a demonstration event. The government regulatory body, Offtoss, has approved the event format. Health and Safety officials have carrie...

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Tax - Good Innit?

Funny story: Tax - Good Innit?

We are encouraged to earn money by working. The money we earn by working is taxed as a proportion of income. We are allowed to spend our after-tax income as we please. Unless you want to buy something the government does not really approve of. Of course, it is only fair that the government gets a slice of the cake from the business that pays your wages - Corporation tax. While you are...

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World's Most Nonsensical Headline Wins Award

Funny story: World's Most Nonsensical Headline Wins Award

A UK based website today announced that the The William Wanka Award for The World's Most Nonsensical Headline has been won by one Bralesse Beech, a contributor to ultra-satirical website TheSpoof.com As far as we could tell, there was no award cer...

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Dr. Phil brings Closure to Grieving Michael Jackson Fans

Funny story: Dr. Phil brings Closure to Grieving Michael Jackson Fans

Los Angeles, California "It has almost been a full month now since the King Of Pop, Michael Jackson, has passed on," said Dr. Phil as he opened his show live outside the Stables Center. "Yet many of his fans are still grieving for him today. Now t...

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Samantha Ronson Ditches Lindsay Lohan For An Older Woman

Funny story: Samantha Ronson Ditches Lindsay Lohan For An Older Woman

Los Angeles, CA - In what may have been a move inspired by a story recently published on TheSpoof.com, Samantha Ronson has boldly moved on from her love nest with Lindsay Lohan and was seen dining with an older woman, Drea de Matteo, known for her ro...

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ACORN with Rush Limbaugh's Face Exposed as Hoax!!

Funny story: ACORN with Rush Limbaugh's Face Exposed as Hoax!!

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Americans everywhere, at least those with the good sense not to believe every lie that is fed to them, said today they are becoming less and less amused by the antics of popular but controversial Republican comedian Rush Limbaugh a...

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Cop Hunt For Polish Criminal Stolen Car Racket Mastermind Wastes Millions

Funny story: Cop Hunt For Polish Criminal Stolen Car Racket Mastermind Wastes Millions

Many red faces here at New Scotland Yard, as it was revealed that the hunt for Polish Stolen Car dealing crook Prawo Jazdy, which cost millions in taxpayers money, has been revealed as an absolute waste of time and money. Jazdy was booked by traff...

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MP's at risk of becoming swine flu's biggest victims

Funny story: MP's at risk of becoming swine flu's biggest victims

The Secretary of State for Health, Anne Adin, has today conceded that British Members of Parliament are likely to be the largest group of professionals to be severely affected by the potential swine flu pandemic. A leading expert on the affliction...

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San Antonio Zoo Animals Are Catching Fire

Funny story: San Antonio Zoo Animals Are Catching Fire

SAN ANTONIO - The Texas heat wave continues to wreak havoc on humans and animals alike. Temperatures in the Alamo City have consistently hovered around the 102 to 109 mark. San Antonio Zoo Director Frijolita Del Caldo stood outside of the hipp...

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Apollo 11 Crew Celebrates 20th Anniversary of Moon Landing's 20th Anniversary

Funny story: Apollo 11 Crew Celebrates 20th Anniversary of Moon Landing's 20th Anniversary

WASHINGTON D.C. (AP Newsliar) -- The Apollo 11 astronauts and mission control flight directors met with President Obama today to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the first moon landing's 20th anniversary. "It was 20 years ago today that we met in...

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God Sues Missouri Truck Dealer

Funny story: God Sues Missouri Truck Dealer

Butler, MO - Earlier this month, God sent a couple of angels down to file a restraining order in Bale County Court against Mark Muller of Max Motors, demanding he cease and desist from using his (the Almighty's) name in the company logo "God, Guns, G...

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Ant & Dec Share a Penis

Funny story: Ant & Dec Share a Penis

TV duo Ant and Dec have been unmasked as two penis-sharing goblins. The funny little men who present all kinds of random shite on ITV, were caught out whilst filming a 'hilarious' sketch to be broadcast on one of their upcoming shitty telly shows.

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Local Girl Discovers She's Related To Piers Morgan

Funny story: Local Girl Discovers She's Related To Piers Morgan

Friends and relatives were consoling a distraught local girl today after she uncovered her family's deep, dark secret - that she is related to Piers Morgan, the tosser off 'America's Got Talent' and 'Britain's Got Talent'. Shelly Morgan, 15, s...

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Back on Earth Cosmonaut Andri Nikitin in Trouble Again

Funny story: Back on Earth Cosmonaut Andri Nikitin in Trouble Again

Russian Cosmonaut Andri Nikitin, who recently was ordered home from the international space station after trying to urinate on his ex-wife's house from space, is in trouble with authorities again. This time the forty-five year old Army Major trie...

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MC Hammer's Trousers Stolen!

Funny story: MC Hammer's Trousers Stolen!

Rapper MC Hammer has had his famous baggy pants stolen while having a bath at his local drop-in centre. The "Can't Touch This!", singer was washing his dangly bits when he thought he heard somebody enter and then quickly exit the shower rooms. When...

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The Daily Mail's Famous "Worlds' Hardest, Smallest Crossword" To Be Made Harder and Smaller

Funny story: The Daily Mail's Famous "Worlds' Hardest, Smallest Crossword" To Be Made Harder and Smaller

Reacting to comments by its rabid readership, The Daily Mail has decided to make its infamous 'Hardest, Smallest' crossword puzzle tougher and teensier. "Our readership are generally crackpots with nothing better to do or others who simply picked...

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Paedophiles Banned From Buying Fairy Liquid

Funny story: Paedophiles Banned From Buying Fairy Liquid

Dirty, sleazy paedo fuckers have been barred from purchasing bottles of Fairy Liquid from local stores, following complaints that the greasy, evil bastards buy the products purely to look at the picture of the Fairy Baby logo. "It's a disgrace tha...

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Silly Spoof Writer Buckwheatsbutt's Attempts to Woo Chamone Foiled by his Pig-Tail Pulling Antics

Funny story: Silly Spoof Writer Buckwheatsbutt's Attempts to Woo Chamone Foiled by his Pig-Tail Pulling Antics

Hideously deformed TheSpoof.com kiddy fiddler Buckwheatsbutt, has once again failed to impress sultry writer Chamone (AKA Ally and allegedly numerous other people) by his feeble chat up attempts. His latest stunt has gone drastically wrong: the st...

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Attention Deficit Disorder Association Ends Convention, Cites Progress

Funny story: Attention Deficit Disorder Association Ends Convention, Cites Progress

(AP)-Las Vegas: The leading organization for Americans suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder ended its seven day convention here with the organization President saying there has been progress in fighting the disorder that effects millions of Amer...

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Cheney Starts New Career As Mob Hitman

Funny story: Cheney Starts New Career As Mob Hitman

Former President-of-Vice Dick Cheney has started a new retirement career. Like many older men who have devoted an entire life to a professional career and now find themselves in retirement, Mr. Cheney is embarking on a new 'fantasy job'. Many retiree...

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Conservatives Have 'Cheapskate' Health Plan To Counteract Obama's.

Funny story: Conservatives Have 'Cheapskate' Health Plan To Counteract Obama's.

The conservative parties of America have realized that they need to come with a new health care system or stand in danger of losing the millions they have invested in the dysfunctional system that is presently being assailed by the Obama administrati...

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Sotomayor Admits to Lobotomy

Funny story: Sotomayor Admits to Lobotomy

Judge Sonia Sotomayor admitted today to having submitted to a partial lobotomy in preparation for the Senate confirmation hearings last week. The operation performed at the behest of the White House took place in an outpatient clinic in the Bronx. Un...

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Dead NFL Star Steve McNair Accused Of Drunkenness

Funny story: Dead NFL Star Steve McNair Accused Of Drunkenness

(AP) - NASHVILLE, Tenn. - The local Sherriff here says he will file charges against the late NFL star Steve McNair for having a blood-alcohol level twice Tennessee's legal limit when his girlfriend shot him to death. Sherriff Bud "Big Butt" Hunnecutt...

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Gordon gives it all away for weather

Funny story: Gordon gives it all away for weather

UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown has announced his resignation as the country's leader and will pursue a career as a weather forecaster with the British Meteorological Service. Asked why the sudden move, Brown replied that weather forecasting has alway...

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Female Pro Golfer Tests Positive For Steroids

Funny story: Female Pro Golfer Tests Positive For Steroids

Oklahoma City - The United States Pro Golfing Guild has just suspended rookie sensation Taneesha Flo "Buttercup" Winthrop for testing positive on a drug test. The 24-year-old Winthrop who hails from Birmingham, Alabama has already had six hole-in-...

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Exposed: All Males With Swine Flu Will Eventually Become Eunuchs

Funny story: Exposed: All Males With Swine Flu Will Eventually Become Eunuchs

Dr Spencer Manjigglies, the noted expert on the flu and the Swine Flu in particular has announced something that has been kept from the general public until now but has decided to talk, because some of his fears are already happening. "It is my un...

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Jeremy Clarkson and Susan Boyle To Divorce

Funny story: Jeremy Clarkson and Susan Boyle To Divorce

It has today been announced that Jezza and Subo are to go their separate ways. Citing irreconcilable differences, Susan has applied for a divorce - even though they have been married for less than 2 weeks. The judge has questioned the short dur...

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Madonna Surfaces On Antiques Roadshow

Funny story: Madonna Surfaces On Antiques Roadshow

MARSEILLE, France: Madonna, singer and performer extraordinaire, surfaced on an Antiques Roadshow taping yesterday evening. The Roadshow, which appraises various fossils and relics from the past brought in by locals, has just wrapped up a week of fi...

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Swine Flu : Paris empties as city authorities ban sex

Funny story: Swine Flu : Paris empties as city authorities ban sex

Within two hours of the Paris authorities having clamped a ban on sex in the city for the duration of the swine flu pandemic, the capital has been turned into a ghost city as millions had fled to other French towns where they could still indulge in t...

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Sarah Palin To Appear Nude In Playguy Says She Needs The Money

Funny story: Sarah Palin To Appear Nude In Playguy Says She Needs The Money

WASILLA, Alaska - Governor Sarah Palin has just confided to CBS's Katie Couric that the real reason she has decided to resign the Alaskan governorship is because she is facing a serious money situation. Palin agreed to be interviewed by Couric on...

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President Obama's Birth Certificate Has Finally Been Found!

Funny story: President Obama's Birth Certificate Has Finally Been Found!

CLEVELAND - President Barack Hussein Obama's official birth certificate has finally been found. It is presently in the possession of one Sonatina Maybell Gingham. Gingham is an 83-year-old retired 'Avon Lady' who resides in Cleveland at the corner...

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Strange Sounds Emanating from inside Ronald Reagan's Tomb

Funny story: Strange Sounds Emanating from inside Ronald Reagan's Tomb

Even as a boy John "Radar" Kennedy's dream was to grow up and become an air traffic controller, just like his father before him. And although Radar wasn't the best of students, he studied while his fellow students partied, and in 1975 graduated from...

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Why are Sci Fi film remakes shit

Funny story: Why are Sci Fi film remakes shit

Film Buff William Johnstone has caused controversy by stating that all scifi film remakes are shit. He said four of my favourite films are The Time Machine 1960,The War Of The Worlds 1953,Planet of The Apes 1968 and The Day The Earth Stood Still 1951 all ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT*** However the remakes The Time Machine 2002, The War of The Worlds 2005, Planet of The Apes 2001 and The Day The Earth S...

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NASA's crazy conspiracy theory finds few takers

Funny story: NASA's crazy conspiracy theory finds few takers

Conspiracy theories couldn't get any more bizarre. NASA, the world's foremost space agency, which was till now a subject of many a crazy conspiracy theories regarding the authenticity of its Apollo 11 landing on moon, has now a spun out a loony consp...

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Beckham "Fisting" Fracas

Funny story: Beckham "Fisting" Fracas

David Beckham, LA Galaxy's part-time midfielder, was involved in ugly scenes at the Old Fridge Dumping Center during an exhibition match with former club AC Milan. As the players headed for the dressing room, Beckham, 34, who had earlier unveiled...

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Harvard Professor Gates To Perform As George Jefferson In 1970's Black T.V. Revival

Funny story: Harvard Professor Gates To Perform As George Jefferson In 1970's Black T.V. Revival

Boston, MA Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. has signed to perform as the character 'George Jefferson' in a revival show of 1970's black television characters. Mr. Gates Jr., currently involved in a legal dispute after breaking into his own...

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Lord Mandelson - Dual Personality?

Funny story: Lord Mandelson - Dual Personality?

The police investigation into MP's expenses has identified a bizarre twist in the evidence trail. Whilst digging deeply into the claims of the MP for East Cheam, Mr Lamar Middleton Penrose, who has claimed the maximum possible expenses since his e...

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Miley Cyrus To Star In Wings?

Funny story: Miley Cyrus To Star In Wings?

Reports around the Disney Studios is that Miley Cyrus, who has just signed on to do a fourth season as Hannah Montana is being considered as the star in "Wings, a bestselling series of books by Aprilynne Pike. The lead character plays a young girl...

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Drug-Fuelled Board Game

Ok. I am obsessed with the Amanda Knox trial and wrote an incredibly CHEESY fake news story to make fun of all the losers who think turning cartwheels makes you seem murderous. A drastic new turn was introduced into the case of murdered Meredith Kercher Wednesday night, when investigators found what they believed to be an incriminating board game at the residence of Ruffalito Sohlizaki, suspect...

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Andrea McNulty Catches An Earful From Rev Al Sharpton

Funny story: Andrea McNulty Catches An Earful From Rev Al Sharpton

New York, NY Reverend Al Sharpton is none too pleased at Harrahs Casino employee Andrea McNulty. McNulty has brought a lawsuit against Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger accusing Roethlisberger of sexual assault. Reverend Al has st...

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Please sir, can I have some more?

Funny story: Please sir, can I have some more?

I wanted to analyze a debate that has fallen into an incomprehensible obscurity this week. Like all arguments that blaze for a bit too long without reaching a conclusion, Helicopter-gate is now very difficult to follow - but we shall try... With a recent surge in activity by our army in Afghanistan we have seen a lot of casualties coming from the region, bringing total deaths in the Afghan war up...

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Apollo 11 and the First Men on the Moon

Funny story: Apollo 11 and the First Men on the Moon

Forty years ago saw the culmination of the first manned lunar landing when intrepid space explorers Stretch Armstrong and Buzz Lightyear and the other one went to the moon. These three famous Argonauts set out in their massive Saturn V1 Rocket aft...

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British Schoolchildren Quarantined In China- Manchurian Candidates?

Funny story: British Schoolchildren Quarantined In China- Manchurian Candidates?

The schoolchildren had been quarantined in Shanghai for showing symptoms of Swine Flu - or had they? Tawnie Madras (14) was one of the first to be released from the hotel in which they had been confined. "The treatment was kinda scary" comments...

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Brown has really brilliant idea for a New National Holiday and is carried through the streets by a gratetful public.

Funny story: Brown has really brilliant idea for a New National Holiday and is carried through the streets by a gratetful public.

Under pressure PM, Gordon Brown today announced an idea that is set to make him the most popular man in Britain. Brown who despite his strange shape has proved to be as slippery as an Eel! In fact Mr.Brown is more slippery than a slippery pers...

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Paris Jackson Being Prepped To Be First Petri Dish President

Funny story: Paris Jackson Being Prepped To Be First Petri Dish President

Los Angeles, CA - An unnamed highly placed source within the Democratic Party establishment has been quoted as saying that Paris Jackson, daughter of the late 'King of Pop' is being groomed to be the first President of the United States to be conceiv...

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£42 Billion Black Hole In Government Funds

Funny story: £42 Billion Black Hole In Government Funds

It has been today announced that the nation faces a huge deficit in the country's current account. Apparently, spending has exceeded income by £42 billion and we are overdrawn! The Bank of England has written to Prime Minister Gordon Brown to s...

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Americans want new soccer rules.

Funny story: Americans want new soccer rules.

Americans want new rules for soccer and anybody who has went to a football match that ends 0-0 would say who can blame them it bores the pants of you it would be better watching paint dry. Dwight Jones is leader of the group who want to change th...

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Major Antonius Julius Argus Xerxes Part-10

Now, Major again searched the truck driver's pocket: he found a check equal to the value of 50 sheep in his wallet. Total loss to his uncle's employer was 50 out of 250. Next, he decided to find the other culprits, because 300 sheep could not have been loaded in one truck; therefore, decided to squeeze it out of the driver. After tying him firmly to the cheese pole, spreading his legs, and placing...

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Dog The Bounty Hunter to find Osama

Funny story: Dog The Bounty Hunter to find Osama

Confusion reigned at a press conference in Hawaii yesterday when Duane Chapman otherwise known as Dog The Bounty Hunter turned up after being hired to track down and capture Osama Bin Laden. Chapman wearing sunglasses a Hawain T-shirt and a pair...

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The New Lisa Marie Presley Bikini Thongs Hit The Stores

HOLLYWOOD - Lisa Marie Presley's lingerie company, LMP's Bikini Thongs & Things has just announced that the latest line of Lisa Marie Designer Panties is now available at better department stores such as Macy's, Traci's, Saks Fifth Avenue, Slax S...

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Chris Brown Finally Admits That He Did Beat Rihanna

Funny story: Chris Brown Finally Admits That He Did Beat Rihanna

LOS ANGELES - Well after over five and a half months of saying that he did not do it, Chris Brown has finally admitted that he did in fact beat his beautiful, gorgeous girlfriend Rihanna. Brown spoke outside L.A.'s Staples Center with his attorney...

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Pop of Rice Krispies Fame Dies

Funny story: Pop of Rice Krispies Fame Dies

Sadly, another iconic figure in American pop culture (no pun intended) has passed. Pop, the third member of the infamous Snap, Crackle and Pop trio passed away unexpectedly in his home on Long Island. Still reeling from the news, Crackle told us...

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Obama Reveals 2012 Campaign Slogan: "I Boned Your Mamma!" Shirts on sale at Hooters

Funny story: Obama Reveals 2012 Campaign Slogan: "I Boned Your Mamma!" Shirts on sale at Hooters

President Obama launched his 2012 campaign fund raiser Monday evening at the K Street Hooters in Washington, DC. Chief among items for sale is an orange tee shirt with Obama's likeness and the phrase "I boned your mamma!" in large black letters.

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Daniel's got a new girl and a car

Harry Potter star Daniel Radclife was seen out yesterday riding out his new car and also chilling out with his new girlfriend at the hottest hotel in town and his girlfriend is none other than his co-star Emma Watson. Daniel, who just finished...

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Selena Gomez gets a new car

Funny story: Selena Gomez gets a new car

Selena Gomez was seen chilling out with her new black mustang along with her co-star, David Henrie. When asked to her about this she just replied, 'That's very private'. After doing a bit of research it was identified that that the mustang was g...

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Republican National Committee Seeks Government Bailout

Under rather awkward circumstances, the Republican Party ... which has been incessantly criticizing the Obama Administration for its massive government bailout program ... is now seeking government funding in order to stay afloat. Following 8 year...

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Moon Landing 40th eclipsed by Jacksons Fake Moon Walk video

Funny story: Moon Landing 40th eclipsed by Jacksons Fake Moon Walk video

Original moon landing hoaxers 'prove' Jackson Moonwalk Videos were faked, the NTNON team can reveal today. A video allegedly showing Michael Jackson Moonwalking by using wheels implanted in his shoes, was revealed by the leading conspiracy nutter...

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Wall Street Firm Announces a New Financial Strategy

Funny story: Wall Street Firm Announces a New Financial Strategy

New York NY: The Wall Street investment house of Frank, Dodd and Kennedy (FDK) LLC has announced their new financial strategy for the small investor in the next 18 months (offer expires January 4, 2011). The new strategy is called "Give yourself...

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World's Best Low-Cost Aphrodisiac Coming In January

Funny story: World's Best Low-Cost Aphrodisiac Coming In January

According to folklore, horny goat weed's reputed aphrodisiac qualities were discovered when a Chinese goat herder noticed increased sexual activity in his flock after they ingested the weed. Then that same night he was raped repeatedly as he lay tang...

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