Obama Takes Control of Bankrupt Michael Jackson, Inc, US Taxpayers Now Own 75% of Pedophile Records!
San Francisco, California - In fast breaking financial news, a joint conference headlining House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Banking Head Barney Frank, and Treasury Secretary, Tim Geithner, the US government announced it had stepped in and assumed contr...
Read full storyAmy Winehouse is not dead
Despite gossip to the contrary, it was officially announced today that Amy Winehouse is not dead, and that fans who recently purchased tickets to her concert in Glasgow will not be eligible for a refund. The news prompted a spate of gun purchasin...
Read full storyJim Never Fixed It
Allegations were made earlier today that Jimmy Saville, AKA Jim'll Fix It, failed to actually fix it. Indeed, rather than fix it the old fool spent his time trying to blagg free ice cream. Monte Lynch said "I wrote to Jim asking him if I could sco...
Read full storyWashington's remains found at NJ construction site
(AP) - Hoboken NJ: What appear to be the remains of the first U.S President have been unearthed at the site of a new Wal-Mart here. The discovery was made by backhoe operator, Nunzio Crapola., 36, who holds a PhD in Pre-Columbian Forensic Pathology f...
Read full storyThrifty Tips #4
Part 4 of our occasional series, brought to you occasionally, is quite possibly the biggest money spinner ever to be published on a free public website. It is so big, potentially, that I am in two minds as to whether to carry on writing or go and see if it has actually worked for myself. You see, I am in the early stages of trials for this Thrifty Tip, but I am so excited about the potential...
Read full storyPro-Midget Group Seeks TV Ban on "Midget"
The Association for Banning the Use of "Midget" (A.B.U.M) has called on the F.C.C. to ban the use of the word "midget" on TV commercials featuring Joan Rivers. "Every midget is dehumanized and minimized by society every time one of us tiny frea...
Read full storyMartians Warned To Stay Away From Jackson Memorial
Martians have been strongly advised to stay away from the Michael Jackson Memorial at the Staples Center in LA, even if they have paid extortionate prices for event tickets on e-Bay. "Michael was one of us," the Rev Al Sharpton preached. "He lived...
Read full storyMystery of London "Mothman"
Londoners who regularly visit the South Bank will probably know of the existence of Mothman. For several years he has brought a brand of unusual and inspirational entertainment to passers by with his "dashing, dazzling moths". However, Mothman fa...
Read full storyiPhone Porn App Pulled By Rotten Apple Corp.
Las Vegas, NV - iPhone Porn software developers, Wing Nguyen and Joe 'The Bone' Bonazzio are flipping mad today as the result of Apple shutting down the duos porn app, 'Swedish Chicken Delight'; a euphemism for fully frontal nude porn. The applicatio...
Read full storyMichael Jackson's drug dealers filmed jacking Queen up on smack
Buckingham Palace - (Penumbral Eclipse Mess): The search for CIA-hired drug dealers who dispatched Michael Jackson to anaesthetic oblivion is over. Two of the toxic desperados have been caught on Palace CCTV cranking HM the Queen's arm and shootin...
Read full storyThe 2009 Thought Police Are Here
Science teacher Helene Gaither of Paducah, Kentucky South Middle School on her last day of school before Summer vacation was showing a CD on the uses of science applications to one's life in general and while the film as rolling, doodled on a piece o...
Read full storyObama visits Putin and his powerless sidekick Madman Medvedev!
Dressed to kill, the Obama family winged into a freezing, wet and windy Moscow for a wild - west showdown with Mein Herr Putin and his notorious slave sidekick, "Charles Manson Lookalike" Dmitry Medvedev. Obamas family left the US dressed in brigh...
Read full storyMrs. O'Leary's Diary Found; It Wasn't Her Cow
The diary of former Chicago resident Catherine O'Leary, who's cow was accused of starting the Great Chicago Fire of 1871, has been found in an old trunk in a Chicago antique store. Mrs. O'Leary (1827 to 1895) has long been accused of leaving a ker...
Read full storyUFOs Charge Ransom for Abductees
Smithfield, ND - It appears even our extraterrestrial overlords are feeling the crunch in these tough economic times, as they have begun charging for the return of persons abducted in rural areas. "I got this call, and they were all like 'If you w...
Read full storyBlind boy sees man steal pie from window ledge
Harry Dick, blind boy born to a dwarf, transvestite, one-legged father and an eczyma ridden, hump-backed, jail-bird father is once again in the news after claiming he saw a man steal some of his fathers pie. Mr and Mr Dick had just finished baking...
Read full storySarah Palin: Role Model? The answer is more than just a punch line.
(New York-NY) For my loyal readers, all five, you're used to my point of view clothed in the satire of news parody. Not exactly "The Onion", but at times I like to think they come to the level of a scallion, perhaps a leek. But something happened this weekend that simply forced me to come out from behind the parody. An event so seismic that I'm convinced like Jennifer Lopez's red carpet Grammy "t...
Read full storyMegan Fox Topless In Woods - Badger Panics
The sight of one of the sexiest women in the world wandering topless in the woods today sent a badger into a frenzied panic. It happened as Fox was filming scenes for her upcoming horror movie, The Vampire Josey Wales. Fox, whose breasts have been...
Read full storyTwo Thongs Don't Make A Kite
A schoolboy genius has failed to create a kite from two borrowed thongs belonging to his sister. Little Billy Brenner from Newcastle set out to prove an old adage and succeeded. Unfortunately for Billy, her misheard the adage '2 wrongs don't make...
Read full storyUS Onion claims TheSpoof.com is nothing more than a satirical tabloid Sun!
A frustrated US Onion has started a cold satirical war, claiming that TheSpoof.com is just a satirical tabloid site similair to other " non-serious" tabloid newspapers, only interested in high ratings, sex, Michael Jackson and other shallow stories.
Read full storyLily Allen is Retarded
Pop singer Lily Allen has been classified mentally retarded by the National Retard Awareness Trust. The Z-list star has displayed signs of retardation for years - the large roundy eyes, the small tight mouth and roundy face - and even acts like o...
Read full storyMan Eating Tiger Shot
Police has shot a man who entered an open cage and attempted to eat a Siberian tiger. Dave Reynolds, 24, sneaked into the tiger enclosure during his lunch break from his job as a shoeshine boy. Stunned onlookers watched in horror as Reynolds pou...
Read full story3-Legged Man falls in love with Photographer
A 3-legged man has become engaged to a woman he met at his brothers wedding. Barry Lincoln, or 'Tripod' to his friends, met Suzy Crabtree who was acting as the photographer at his bothers wedding. Barry had given up all hope of finding love and w...
Read full storyPensioner Completes World's Tiniest Jigsaw Puzzle
Archie Craddock has become the oldest pensioner in the World to complete the Worlds most tiny and difficult jigsaw puzzle. Mr. Craddock, 96, received the puzzle as a Christmas present from his dear beloved father, who had just returned from the fr...
Read full storyImaginary Man makes Reappearance in Blackpool
The infamous Imaginary Man has once again made a spectacular appearance in Blackpool - this time floating 70ft in the air and waving at passers-by. One local B&B owner who witnessed the apparition said that she taught he had a 'kindly' face an...
Read full storyGranny Kisses 120 Babies in a minute
A widowed grandmother broke the World record for baby kissing at a local shopping centre today. Patricia Kensington, 68, stopped and kissed 120 babies while standing by the shopping trolley parking bay. Mrs. Kensington's task was to grab each terr...
Read full storySecond English Civil War breaks out after most blatant case of copying in British history
Just as Lord Protector Oliver Cromwell was enjoying a quiet retirement at his farm in Merrie England, growing potatoes and bigotry, and burning chaff and straw and Roman Catholics, a delegation of Puritans arrived at his humble 12,000 acre estate, to...
Read full storyPresident Signs Climate-Energy Bill
In an effort to stem global warming, curb greenhouse gas emissions and to address growing water shortages, President Barack Obama singed into law a bill proposing landmark legislation that will affect the way most Americans live. The president add...
Read full storyNobody's Going to Scarborough Fair
Ticketmaster has reported that, according to ticket sales, nobody is going to Scarborough Fair. While many people have asked each other, "Are You Going To Scarborough Fair?", no one is reported to have answered in the affirmative. Additionally, v...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Has Mouth Disease
Apparently, Lindsay Lohan has now came down with foot-in-mouth's disease. Whenever she opens it, in goes the foot and who knows what's going to come out? At her birthday last week she spent the day apologizing for slamming Colette, a high class st...
Read full storyAmerican tennis player found dead: Andy Murray supporters suspected
Metropolitan Police have issued a call for witnesses to a dramatic murder that occurred just near Scotland Yard headquarters. Authorities reported that a high profile American tennis players body was found on the pavement early this morning and i...
Read full storySuspicious Package Closes Edinburgh Airport
Security staff at Britain's fifth favourite airport have evacuated the complex following the discovery of a suspicious package. The closure occurred on Monday afternoon after staff were alerted to the package by concerned travellers. "It looked...
Read full storyBritish Scientists discover new British sickness, "Loseritis"
Scientists have recently been studying the lack of British sporting success at the very top global tournaments in mainline sports and have come up with some astonishing results leading to the confirmation of a idiosyncratic disease called "Loseritis"...
Read full storyMichael Jacks Son?
According to Yahoo, "Swan Flu," "Brack Obama," Michael Jack's Son and "Paperview boxing" are among the top misspelled words typed into the Yahoo search engines in the last month, says Yahoo word editor Ada McPeak. "These things jump out at us, esp...
Read full storyRichard Hammond Lost in the Wilderness
The long anticipated brand new series of Top Gear started 2 weeks ago. Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May have been recently filming more episodes for the fantastic 13th season of the hit BBC car show. The Challenge Producers of Top...
Read full storyBrad & Angie split
Gossip has been rife recently about Brad & Angelina splitting, but the truth has finally surfaced. Brad & Angelina are splitting because of the secret meeting between Angelina Jolie & Jennifer Aniston. During their 2 hour brunch, An...
Read full storyChesapeake Bay Bridge-Tunnel Collapse Caused By Hot Dog Eating Contestants
Kiptopeke, Va. - Two contestants of Nathans Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest struck the Chesapeake Bay Bridge-Tunnel around 6:30 this morning. The two were indulging in an early moring swim in an effort to burn off the extra calories they had acquired...
Read full storyRonnie Biggs escapes again
Ronnie Biggs, the Great Train Robber has escaped from hospital after he was told that he had been refused parole by Jack Straw. A spokesperson for the Home Office said that he escaped when two prison officers guarding him were distracted by a nurs...
Read full storyFormer NFL Quarterback Steve McNair Was Murdered With Girlfriend
A former quarterback for the NFL's Titans, Oilers, and Ravens, Steve McNair, was found dead in the home of an apartment that he rented for his girlfriend. Her dead body was next to his. Both died due to multiple gunshot wounds. Police discovered...
Read full storyMan Wishes The Tennis Was Still On
A man today said that he missed the tennis in a way, as there was nothing decent on the television during the day. The man is not thought to be a big tennis fan. It's just that he hates all the crap that they show on television. "I hate all the cr...
Read full storyShirker Signs For Chelsea
Chelsea are believed to have signed Russian ace Youra Shirker from C3PO Moscow for £10 million. The left footed international is expected to be paraded at the club's training ground in the next few days. New Chelsea manager Carlos Thatsyourlotti said...
Read full storySingles Review: Miley Cyrus Covers Pussycat Dolls' "When I Grow Up"
When the hottest girl group in the world plans for a comeback, you better know it's gonna be hot... And the Pussycat Dolls don't need a man to make it happen of course, but "When I Grow Up" samples the main riff of The Yardbirds song "He's Always There" from their 1966 studio album "Roger the Engineer", and as a result, British songwriters Jim McCarty and Paul Samwell-Smith have received writing c...
Read full storyInternational Flatulence Tax Announced
In a bid to reduce the threat posed by methane emissions, the G8 Summit will today hear from the British Chancellor of the Exchequer. Alistair Dearest will announce an international agreement to impose a Flatulence Activated Recycling Tax to be br...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus' Plastic Surgery Scandal!
Back in the plastic surgery gossip scene again, Miley Cyrus is raising a few brows after being spotted unusually busty and beautiful at the MileyMania's 2009. With breast implants almost being a prerequisite in Hollywood, Cyrus giving into the tr...
Read full storyFootballer Held Prisoner By Club
A footballer is believed to have been held prisoner by a football club. Reports suggest that the manager, Carlos Thatsyourlotti, wanted to keep the player locked up forever. The player in question, influential centre half Terry Terry, was locked a cu...
Read full storyGraham Norton's Show Axed By BBC
Graham Norton's latest prime time Saturday evening show has been axed by the BBC. 'Totally Shit' has failed to pull in the viewers, falling from 4.3 million when launched to just 2 last Saturday. Norman Gifford and his wife Norma were the last rem...
Read full storyMichael Jackson's Ghost Seen At Neverland
MICHAEL Jackson fans are in a frenzy over a possible sighting of the star's ghost on a TV program. An eerie shadow resembling Jacko's figure has apparently been appearing on a wall in the singer's former home during a live television program last...
Read full storyJack and Jill went up a hill but what really happened?
Jack and Jill - rendered immortal by the nursery rhyme mocking their demise, few actually know the heartbreaking story behind the couple. And the dispicable 3rd charachter John who has stayed in the shadows for so long. Although the couples earlie...
Read full storyMassive hummingbird crop circle 'is Aztec war god Huitzilopochtli'
Barbury Hill - (X-Files Mess): A three hundred foot Wiltshire hummingbird crop circle has been identified as an etching of the ancient Aztec war god and weaponry wizard Huitzilopochtli. The phenomenon has triggered frantic UNESCO speculation that...
Read full storySome of Michael Jackson's hits revealed to have been written by Bubbles
In a surprise announcement by Michael Jackson's father, it was revealed that some of his son Michael's greatest million-selling hits weren't in fact written by the singer at all. At a special press conference to moan to the world about being left...
Read full storyJimmy Saville Jailed
TV star and personality Sir Jimmy Saville, 81, has been jailed for a total of 120 years for misleading the public, scamming kids out of dream trips and wearing the same cologne aftershave for over 40 years. As sentence was passed today at the Hig...
Read full storyPrincess Diana to attend Jacko's Funeral
Both Kensington Palace and the Jackson family refused to comment on claims that Princess Diana would be attending Jacko's Funeral tomorrow. The Spoof can reveal that a special jet has been laid on to Fly Diana to the USA in time for the service at t...
Read full storyIndia bugged with Oprah
Oprah Winfrey's really annoyed her countless fans in India. First, the much-adulated TV hostess called off her proposed visit to Goa, India in May 2009, citing fears of the HINI virus (swine flu)...even though at that point of time India didn't h...
Read full storyArmy Land To Be Sold Off
In yet another feeble effort to disguise the inevitable black hole in Great Britain's finances, Prime Minister Gordon Brown has announce the sale of land and property owned on behalf of the state by the army. A prime candidate for the first sale i...
Read full storyPrime Minister - I Didn't Mean It!
Embattled Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, broke down under interrogation by James Humphreys during this morning's Toady programme. With tears running down his cheeks and sobbing uncontrollably while snot dribbled from his nostrils, the Prime Ministe...
Read full storyJackson's Brain To Be Given Separate Burial
Los Angeles, CA - Michael Jackson's brain has been withheld from grieving relatives as it undergoes further toxicological testing. Unfortunately, this has forced his survivors to postpone the brain's burial to a future date. Although not a well-kn...
Read full storyAngel Samos Loses Michael Jackson Memorial Tickets
Los Angeles, CA - Angel Samos, a man suspected of raping his ex-girlfriend, shooting another woman, abducted four young children and who then was shot in the head today by arresting officers, is afraid he might have misplaced his Michael Jackson Memo...
Read full storyMichael Jackson's funeral
Preparations are well under way for the Man in the Mirror, Michael Jackson's, funeral in Los Angeles, and it promises to be a thriller. The casket, made from ebony and ivory, will be mourned over by a billion spectators (mainly black or white), vi...
Read full storyPresident Manuel Zelaya's Trip To Neverland
Tegucigalpa, Honduras - It would seem almost inevitable that, when President Manuela Zelaya of Honduras was forcefully escorted from his residence in his pajamas and pushed into exile, he would end up in his own private 'Neverland' - this occurring t...
Read full storyBritain Gripped In "Weather Change" Storm
Britain was braced for a change in the weather earlier today. The weather has been warm and sunny. Now it is likely that it will rain. Gordon Broon hurried back to the UK from an important international summit. "The nation needs me in this hour of ne...
Read full storyThe Cake Is A Lie: Steve McNair and Saleh Kazemi
Los Angeles, CA - Concerned individuals wanting more information regarding the deaths of former NFL Quarterback Steve McNair and his friend, Saleh Kazemi, are finding themselves caught in a web of deceit and betrayal that is the simple online game, R...
Read full storyTaylor Lautner Steroid Scandal Rocks "New Moon" Set!
VANCOUVER, British Columbia - New Moon cast members today accused co-star Taylor Lautner, 17, of "doping" on the set, taking performance-enhancing drugs clearly in violation of his contract terms. They alleged that, beginning in January 2009 with...
Read full storyRev. Al Sharpton Wants A U.S. Aircraft Carrier Named After Michael Jackson
HARLEM, New York - The Reverend Al Sharpton has stated that issuing a Michael Jackson Commemorative Postage Stamp and naming a national holiday in his honor is not enough. The outspoken man of the cloth said that he will be meeting with Vice-Presi...
Read full storyPalin Resigns Amid Indictment Rumours
The whole world is wondering why Sarah Palin stood down from the lofty post of Artic Circle Viceroy, a post that often has led to the pinnacle of power, Fish and Game Warden of the Northwest territory. Palin may be about to be indicted for a variety...
Read full storyMadame Bitters and Chamone Catfight at Spoof Picnic!
Tallahassee, FL-- Writers for the UK based website, theSpoof.com got more than they bargained for at this year's Spoof picnic when a catfight broke out between two female Spoofers. The brawling babes, Madame Bitters, age 27 and Chamone, age 19, ar...
Read full storyMike Tyson To Box Kim Jong Il
NEW YORK CITY - Donald Trump Enterprises has announced that they will be sponsoring The First Annual Donald Trump Celebrity Boxing Matches. Trump said that he signed a deal with NBC to televise the boxing matches which will be shown live from Mad...
Read full storyAndy Murray supporters disrupt Wimbledon Men's Final
Today's Wimbledon Mens Singles Final was interrupted briefly by a trio of kilt wearing Scotsman who trespassed onto centre court whilst the final between Roger Federer and Andy Roddick was in motion. The most unusual thing was that the intruders...
Read full storyThousands of Roundheads Converge on London in New Puritan Revolution
Once upon a time, they closed the theaters, enforced a narrow and stringent moralism and sported the crudest haircuts in Christendom. The Puritan Revolution led to the persecution of Catholics, Anglicans and liberal thinkers. It ushered in a distator...
Read full storyRochester Bishop Nazir- Ali Starts Camp to Help Pakis Turn White
When Rochester Bishop Michael Nazir- Ali announced his resignation after offering to Christ-love the gayness out of homos, no one expected the Fundie Evangie Conservies to turn on him. But literalisnm being what is is, whites in Ali's camp denounced...
Read full storySpoof Writer Assassinated By Vegetarian Mafia
Tragedy strikes here in the UK yet again, as a hitherto popular writer for satirical website TheSpoof.com was gunned down at his front door by an unnamed assassin because he posted an article in the magazine section entitled 'Ten Top Vegetarian Meals...
Read full storyLocal TV Station Defends Against Charges Of "Ugly Bias"
Oklahoma City -- A war of words erupted today after KFUG, Channel 12, defended itself against charges of "deep-seated bias favoring the ugly" by local media watchdog group, Fairness in Broadcasting (FiB). According to FiB, the group has repeatedl...
Read full storyWhite House Press Briefing Format Changed
Washington DC: Robert Gibbs, the President's Press Secretary, announced that the format for conducting scheduled White House press corps briefings will be changing. A change is necessary because Helen Thomas (Hearst Newspapers) gave Mr. Gibbs a "what...
Read full storyMan With World's Smallest Penis Marries Pygmy
Penis Minus (Not his real name) has been to the Congo in Africa and married a very cute and petite Pygmy lady named Halletta and they got married while he was there. Penis Minus seemed pretty proud of the fact and appeared to this reporter to be d...
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