Local TV Station Defends Against Charges Of "Ugly Bias"

Funny story written by funwithwords

Monday, 6 July 2009

image for Local TV Station Defends Against Charges Of "Ugly Bias"
Tony Donneli, Chairman and CEO of KFUG Media Corp.

Oklahoma City -- A war of words erupted today after KFUG, Channel 12, defended itself against charges of "deep-seated bias favoring the ugly" by local media watchdog group, Fairness in Broadcasting (FiB).

According to FiB, the group has repeatedly complained to the struggling television station concerning its alleged "ugly bias" since the station's inception 3 years ago.

"These allegations are nothing new for KFUG," FiB spokesperson, Kimberly Johannahson, asserted at today's news conference. "In fact, this has gone on for years. We just think it's time for it to stop."

Among FiB's examples of KFUG's alleged "ugly bias" reporting include such newsworthy-deemed items as, "Local Ugly Queen Wins State Spelling Bee!" and "Homely Computer Geek Aspires to be Next Bill Gates."

Other controversial KFUG stories include, "Runner-up of Oklahoma's Miss Ugliness Pageant to Contest Final Results," and "Community Shocked as Below Average Looking Child Abducted in Busy Rail Station."

"It's not that KFUG's news stories include ugly people," explained FiB's Mrs. Johannahson, "its just that excluding mention of beautiful people in the course of every single bonafide news story only serves to reinforce deep societal notions that somehow ugliness is better than beauty; that ugly people are more important than the rest of us. We just think that sends the wrong message to our children."

For his part Tony Donneli, Chairman and CEO of KFUG Media, quickly dismissed all allegations that KFUG harbors any such discriminatory biases as charged by FiB.

During a telephone interview with him immediately following the FiB news conference, Mr. Donneli dispensed sharp condemnation of FiB alleging that the activist organization is "infested with meager-minded, acid washed prima donna idiots-of-the-world types prancing around with their goddamned asses up in the air as if the world ought to revolve around them all the damned time. Well I've got news for 'em: it doesn't!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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