Written by Jalapenoman

Monday, 6 July 2009

image for Nobody's Going to Scarborough Fair
The rides will sit empty at this year's fair

Ticketmaster has reported that, according to ticket sales, nobody is going to Scarborough Fair. While many people have asked each other, "Are You Going To Scarborough Fair?", no one is reported to have answered in the affirmative.

Additionally, vendors of herbs, seasonings, and spices will not be there, so even if people did go they would be unable to purchase Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, or Thyme. Cambric shirts will also not be available, with or without seams or needlework.

Due to weather conditions (late freezes, poor rain, etc.), persons will also not be able to gather any heather in the area.

Websites such as E-Harmony, Singlesnet, and others have also lowered the expectations of people seeking to find true love among the fair goers.

Fair organizers have issued assurances that next year's fair will be better.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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