Buckingham Palace - (Penumbral Eclipse Mess): The search for CIA-hired drug dealers who dispatched Michael Jackson to anaesthetic oblivion is over.
Two of the toxic desperados have been caught on Palace CCTV cranking HM the Queen's arm and shooting up a lethal cocktail of cocaine and morphine.
A similar concoction was pumped on Hellfire Club orders in 1936 into King George V's jugular - according to ancient traditional royal assisted euthanization techniques.
"Expect to find Old Fatty Mountbatten slumped over a copy of the Habeas Corpus section of Magna Carta on the fourth anniversary of the London 7/7 bombings," a CIA London desk cource hinted heavily.
"The day's lunar eclipse is merely the icing on the cake!"
Anti-terror cops have always said the IRA Puppet Monarch was behind all bombings since Coronation Day 1953.