Richard Hammond Lost in the Wilderness

Funny story written by Professor Poofenstein

Monday, 6 July 2009

image for Richard Hammond Lost in the Wilderness
Hammond after he was found in the Columbian rainforest.

The long anticipated brand new series of Top Gear started 2 weeks ago. Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May have been recently filming more episodes for the fantastic 13th season of the hit BBC car show.

The Challenge

Producers of Top Gear decided that for one of the challenges in the new series, the boys should go to the wilderness in South America, each in a Lamborghini, Ferrari and Porsche and completely wreck them while driving through harsh conditions.

They would see how long it would take for each of them to find there way, and drive through a large rainforest near Columbia, facing swamps, dangerous animals, harsh weather, overgrown scenery which is sure to destroy the cars in the process.

One left behind

As filming finished, and all the crew were ready to head back to the hotel where they were staying. Jeremy then noticed something was not quite right. When we interviewed JC he told us "We just finished filming the challenge, we were all sweaty and smelly and had to drive back to the hotel before night fell. I looked round and noticed something was missing. I couldn't see Hamster OR the Porsche anywhere. I asked James if he had seen him, but no one knew where he was. We lost him. We couldn't go without him, unfortunately we had to go back and look for him"

Unfortunately, Hammond OR the car could not be found, and as night fell the boys had to head back to the hotel without him.

Jeremy said "We all could not sleep a wink that night, we told the local police and they said they would do a search for him as soon as possible."

Days past, and still no sign of Hammond.

"By the 5th day, we all thought we would never see Hammond again, we thought he might have been picked up by some Columbian tribe women or eaten by a tiger...or something", Clarkson continued to tell us.

6 days later...

As nearly a week passed, the whole crew were due back in England the next day, but they all decided to go back out there and have one last look themselves.

Luckily, as the whole crew went back in search for Hammond, one of the camera men came across a wing mirror at the roots of a tree deep in the rainforest. As they continued to walk deeper into the rainforest..."I looked into the distance inbetween some bushes and could only the notice the round headlight from a 911, I shouted constantly at the crew and ran straight toward the car! I saw Hammond lying across the back seats...he was fine. He looked like the smelliest, dirtiest, hairiest the world!, but he was fine."

Hammond had a shave and the boys are now back in England, safe and sound. Don't forget to watch the next episode of Top Gear.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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