Written by Chamone

Monday, 6 July 2009

image for Lily Allen is Retarded
A fan

Pop singer Lily Allen has been classified mentally retarded by the National Retard Awareness Trust. The Z-list star has displayed signs of retardation for years - the large roundy eyes, the small tight mouth and roundy face - and even acts like one, so it has come as no surprise that she has been given the official title.

Allen's music has been praised by critics for furthering the retarded cause. Her insipid childish lyrics along with crappy music and video's have had some claiming that she is the 'Dylan of shite'

Allen - who is fond of flashing her skid-marked knickers in public - drooled and gurned stupidly when told of her condition. She has vowed to continue being an annoying little slut and has a shit-load of tuneless wonders lined up for release in the foreseeable future.

She comes from retarded stock her father is a retard and has shown clearly how retarded he is during his varied shitty television and movie appearances.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Lily Allen, Retard




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