Jack and Jill went up a hill but what really happened?

Funny story written by Henman

Monday, 6 July 2009


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Left to Right: Jack and Jill on their way up the hill

Jack and Jill - rendered immortal by the nursery rhyme mocking their demise, few actually know the heartbreaking story behind the couple. And the dispicable 3rd charachter John who has stayed in the shadows for so long.

Although the couples earlier history is unknown, what is know is that Jack and Jill did in infact go up that hill as the nursery rhyme implies. What is less know however, is that Jack and Jill were infact expecting a child at the time. What is even lesser know is that Jill was an incredibly promiscuous charachter and was know to everyone except Jack as the town hussy. Thus it can be deduced that the child Jill was bearing at the time was not Jacks but one of her many 'bed buddies'.

Historians agree that the reason for their going up the hill was again, as the rhyme implies to fetch a single pail of water. Historians also agree that when at the top of the hill, Jack confronted Jill about her infidelity and it was then, things got ugly.

Jack infact did not fall down the hill resulting in a broken 'crown' as the rhyme implies, but infact was pushed down the hill by the evil Jill and her lover/accomplice John who would soon turn on her.

Note, this is were the tradition of prostitutes calling their clients 'Johns' originated.

With Jack dead, John then demanded for rough sex with Jill. When Jill refused saying she did not want to have sex on a hill next to a well and bucket, she too was pushed down the hill, resulting in her 'tumbling' after Jack, killing her and her unborn child.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down a broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.

Now you know the real story.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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