Jimmy Saville Jailed

Funny story written by Boboski

Monday, 6 July 2009

image for Jimmy Saville Jailed
Policemen escort Jimmy to prison

TV star and personality Sir Jimmy Saville, 81, has been jailed for a total of 120 years for misleading the public, scamming kids out of dream trips and wearing the same cologne aftershave for over 40 years.

As sentence was passed today at the High Courts of Justice, crowds jeered from the Gallery and Jim'll fix it medals were hurled at the ailing star amidst cries of "you w**ker" and "you old buffcake" and "oi". One of the medals hurled caught Saville's Defence Lawyer clean on the head and he was rushed to Hospital where his condition is thought to be "serious but stable".

Saville, who climbed the ladder to fame by presenting Top of the Pops, wowed young kids in the 70's right through to the 90's with his own show "Jim'll fix it" which gave a few lucky kids a chance to play out their dreams. "It's just all good fun and the kids love a good day out" spouted Jimmy when the show was at it's peak with over two thirds of the Globe watching it weekly, even in parts of Ismay. However, things began going stale when Saville, who had a well documented drink problem at the time, began to claim that kids had written in wanting to "go to a distillery" or "wanting to know how beer was made"

BBC spokesman Andy Ruffin, who produced the show from 1979 to 1985, told reporters that they didn't suspect anything sinister or out of the ordinary at that time, but looking back acknowledges that the letters sent in should have been double checked for "clarity" and that the trips to breweries were "increasing as the series went on" and also noted that "it was Jimmy himself that went round the brewery whilst the kids read a book in the reception"

Donald Harvey, now 42, was a 10 year old boy when he had written to Jim asking him to go for a ride in a hot air balloon. "Jimmy wrote back to me saying he could fix it for me. I was ecstatic as any kid would be" said Donald, now a welder who still lives in Leamington Spa with his mum. "Then two weeks later I got another letter from Jimmy saying that my balloon trip had been cancelled, saying the insurance for under 12 year olds had gone up and the BBC didn't have the funding. Then Jimmy said he'd organised another special event which he said was just as fun. It was "A day at the Cannon Brewery, Sheffield "

Donald went on to say that he was shown to a room in the Brewery where Jimmy told him to wait while he "sorted a few things out". 7 hours later Jimmy returned and gave Donald a book to read on rare hops and a tot of "something special"

"Jimmy was acting very giddy and I couldn't understand all the things he was saying" says Donald, who still remembers everything vividly yet the naivety of a youngster failed to point out certain flaws at the time.

When that particular show ended, Donald told us that Jimmy collapsed to the floor in a crumpled heap. "Security ran in and I was ushered away to my parents and went home. It was very distressing". I could still detect a warbled emotional tone in his voice.

Since Donald plucked up the courage to speak out, over 500 kids of yesteryear have come forward to give evidence on what really went on at these "trips"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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