There were 1,082 spoof news stories published in March 2008. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Gay American Idol naked photos published on internet
Cyberspace - (Bare Faced Cheek Mess): Gay American Idol semi-finalist David Hernandez's nude lapdancing photos have flooded the net after appreciative fans from Phoenix's Dick's Cabaret & Strip Club mounted a spirited ca...
Read full storyAmerican Idol judge Simon Cowell had affair with David Hernandez!
In an incident that will take the stripping world and the musical world by storm, E! News has recently revealed* that American Idol music contestant (ex music contestant a day after this article is published)
Read full storyMexican man still wishes to live in United States
(Tijuana, Mexico), Enrique Gonzales, a 33 year old Mexican laborer, says he would still like to live in the United States even though his country now has a higher standard of living.
Read full storyDuffy agrees to pose nude
After weeks of relentless pressure, Duffy has agreed to pose nude for a magazine for an undisclosed fee. The details of the magazine or the photos have yet to be released, but Duffy made the announcement at a press conference yesterday.
Read full storyDaniel Craig Sues Daniel Radcliffe
Have you ever got Daniel Craig mixed up with Daniel Radcliffe? Thought not. One is a forty year old secret agent and the other is an eighteen year old wizard. Yet Craig seems to think that the public get mixed up between the two Daniels. He is so unh...
Read full storyButt Plugs Replace Steroid Use
Cleveland, Ohio (IPP) - Authorities report a dramatic decline in the use of steroids by athletes in baseball and other sports. Butt plugs have replaced steroid use and its inherent dangers.
Read full storySpitzer gay porno video nasties seized
Washington AC/DC - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): NYPD officers seized dozens of gay porn videos featuring Eliot Spitzer and Capitol Hill interns just hours before the Governor's March 10 televised press conference.
Read full storyAudrina Patridge: "My naked internet video porn ambitions"
California - (Bare Ass Mess): The Hills starlet Audrina Patridge has spoken about the 2003 nude porn videos that are doing the internet rounds this week showing the then underage reality TV wannabe promoting her inner talents.
Read full storyPrince Harry a fine example of British Youth arrives home to nothing short of Scandalous Reporting
Prince Harry has just returned from Helmand Province, Afghanistan from where he has been serving on the front line of the British Army facing the Taliban, one of the most ferocious foes on this planet.
Read full storyKate Silverton Lipstick Application Sparks Viewer Complaints
The sexy BBC newsreader, Kate Silverton, is in trouble with her bosses, after more than 2500 viewers rang the Beeb yesterday afternoon to complain that the vampish presenter's lips were "too pink", and that she was putting many of them off their lunc...
Read full storyCarla Brunei naked internet video porn to be auctioned in New York
New York - (Naked Ass Mess): A naked pornographic video of France's Madame Carla Brunei is to be auctioned in New York next month.
Read full storyCalifornia parents arrested -- Caught Home-schooling their children without a teaching credential
Sacramento, California - A three-judge panel from the 2nd District Court of Appeals made it illegal on February 28 for any parent to home school their child, unless they have a teaching or tutor credential. Upon hearing the ruling, school districts o...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus dresses like a Vagina and Zac Efron dresses like a Cock
Teenagers all across the globe have been banned from accessing magazines, televison and their computers by frustrated parents following the leaking of an image of explicit images of Miley Cyrus and Zac Efron in '...
Read full storyAmerican Idol Contestant Amanda Overmyer nude pictures surface
Scandals, Scandals, Scandals! It's more about the scandals on American Idol season 7 than it is about the singing.
Read full storyHermione Granger Teenage Pregnancy.
Know it all witch Hermione Granger has disgraced Hogwarts school by being the first pupil in a century to fall pregnant whilst attending.
Read full storyGirl Loses Virginity to Bicycle Seat
While riding her bicycle to school, thirteen year old Amanda Peterson swerved to avoid a traffic accident. The collision flipped the young girl over the bars and onto the grassy area next to the road and her bike fell onto her in a compromising posi...
Read full storyHarry Potter Stars: Daniel Radcliffe and Tom Felton Reluctantly Come Out of the Closet
During a small get together of Harry Potter stars, Harry Potter himself Daniel Radcliffe and Draco Malfoy, Tom Felton, reluctantly came out of the closet.
Read full storyIndian Men Have Small Penises - Fact
Scientists in India have concluded that Indian men have the smallest penises in the world. Condom makers have been advised that they need to make mini condoms to help these poor afflicted men.
Read full storyBob The Builder sues Barack Obama for plagiarism
In a test case children's TV favourite Bob the Builder is suing black Messiah Barack Obama over what he describes as "Stealing my whole schtick"...
Read full storyAgents Seize 911 Bottles of Rattlesnake-Infused Vodka bound for Jenna Bush's wedding
Crawford, Texas - (Rioters): Officials from the Keep-Texas-Wholesome Alcoholic Beverage Commission have seized 911 bottles of an illicit 75 degree proof rattle snake-infused vodka bound for Jenna Bush's Predator Chapel Ranch wedding in May.
Read full storyLeona Lewis is naked and should be condemned says Church
Leona Lewis, the British songstress currently storming her way to success in the US, has admitted that she is naked under her clothes all day, every day. She even takes off those clothes at night and to have a shower.
Read full storyMiley Cyrus, Emma Watson and 3 Unknowns in a Peeping Tom Scare
Hannah Montanna star Miley Cyrus, and Harry Potter starlet Emma Watson, have more in common than fame and Google searches. It seems both have been victims of a Peeping Tom.
Read full storyZac Efron's Plastic Surgery Nightmare
In entertainment news, tween star, Zac Efron, was reported to have gone to renowned plastic surgeon Dr. Ken Barberie, to remove a few 'wrinkles'. This minor procedure should have only taken a few minutes and relatively easy. However, it ended...
Read full storyHarry Potter Cast Annual Seaside Trip
Today stars of the Harry Potter film series took a well earned rest from...what ever it is they do, by going on their annual trip to the British seaside.
Read full storyThe Jungle Book revealed to be based on a true story of prostitution and bestality
It has been revealed today that the popular Disney movie The Jungle Book is actually a true story of prostitution and bestiality.
Read full storyLondon Marathon granted shit and piss license
The London Marathon is to be granted a special license that will prevent runners from being prosecuted for defacating and urinating while completing the 26 mile course.
Read full storyAshley Dupré is an Obama Girl Fembot, says Hillary Clinton; all apart of a Left Wing Conspiracy to undermine her Superdelegates
Washington, DC - In the latest attack on Obama, the Hillary Clinton political campaign alleged today that Ashley Dupré is not a real woman (or a prostitute), but a Fembot (a robotic woman) trained at a secret camp run personally by Barack Obama. Clin...
Read full storyHarry Potter Star Gets Naked
Yesterday Harry Potter star and teenage heart throb Daniel Radcliffe took things a little too far, fully stripping in a busy high street in London.
Read full storyBritish Men Have Huge Penises - Fact
Scientists in Plymouth have concluded that British men have the largest penises in the world. Condom makers have been advised that they need to make mega condoms to help these poor afflicted men, but they have said a straight no.
Read full storyHeather Mills is Charles Manson's daughter says Stella McCartney
London - (Putrid Ass Mess): Paul McCartney's daughter has hit out at ex-step mother Heather Mills and told reporters she has proof Helter Skelter cultist murderer Charles Manson is Heather's real father.
Read full storyHarry Potter and The Secret Sex Chambers
It has emerge today that the chambers underneath Hogwarts school, formally known as the chamber of secrets, is getting a new name these days due to its raunchy sex reputation.
Read full storyJohn McCain Angrily Denounces John McCain
Tempe, AZ - Presidential candidate John Sidney McCain angrily denounced Washington insiders and politicians in Congress, such as Senator McCain of Arizona.
Read full storySarah Silverman and Matt Damon Hot; Affleck and Kimmel Fizzle
Comedienne and entertainer Sarah Silverman is reportedly seeing actor Matt Damon. The couple first went public about the relationship on the Jimmy Kimmel show with a video clip that has become wildly popular on YouTube and other web video sites.
Read full storyLauren Bacall gets her Tits out at 104
It has been reported on all the leading TV Channels, that legendary screen Goddess Lauren Bacall, arrived yesterday at a publicity event in New York, showing rather too much cleavage.
Read full storyBoy from India has world's biggest zit removed
A boy with a zit large enough to be considered an environmental threat to others has had the pus-filled tumour removed, authorities in India said today.
Read full storyNext Earthquake May Split The Earth In Half, Warn Scientists
Another earthquake of a similar magnitude to that experienced in the UK this week, could split the Earth in two, say barmy scientists. The Earth, they say, is going through volatile and unprecedented changes, and is extremely prone to another majo...
Read full storyLaura Bush's Pussy Goes Missing
In the early hours of the morning news broke that staff at The White House were in a state of panic as Laura Bush's pussy had gone missing.
Read full storyPrison Break star wins Squinting Contest
Prison Break star Wentworth Miller has beaten off rival Clint Eastwood in a live televised squinting contest watched by millions.
Read full storyBiggest Hit NFL or Rugby
After long years of research, and one too many beers, the researches at Fartinston Labs finally have answered the question. Which sport hits harder Rugby or American Football. The answer is mixed but comes as this, more damage is done to a rugby pl...
Read full storyBrad Pitt hates Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie - everyone
Straight out of the back seat of the yellow taxi comes the overwhelming truth that has the world reeling. For a Hollywood variation Brad Pitt is now the talk of the town.
Read full storyTom Cruise is Gayest Guy in Hollywood
An insider has revealed that heart-throb movie star Tom Cruise is the gayest man in Hollywood history.
Read full storyErotic goal celebrations draw crowds to Women's football
Women's football has never been so popular, with both FA Cup semi-finals played at Wembley in front of capacity crowds.
Read full storyPrison Break Series 4 details emerge
An associate producer for the hit TV series Prison Break has revealed some of the plot details for the latest series which is currently in production.
Read full storyHigh School Musical 3: Prom Night
In movie news- Warner Brothers studios has put in a bid to buy the rights to Disney's High School Musical franchise. It has been reported that the WB has offered up several million dollars for High School Musical, and Disney is interested.
Read full storyRobin Williams and Wife Set to Divorce Over His Excessive Hair
Comedian Robin Williams and his long-suffering wife are set to divorce after she filed against him claiming 'irreconcilable differences'.
Read full storyHitler's Son is alive and well living In English Countryside
Cornwall - (Nazi Mess): The only son of Fuhrer Adolf Hitler is alive and well living in an English village and has several Grandchildren according to reports circulating on the internet.
Read full storyCats Found to be Clean-Burning Fossil Fuel Alternative
Egypt - Scientists in Egypt working on the creation of a synthetic, clean burning fuel to replace fossil fuels in aid of reversing global warming discovered a solution after accidentally set fire to one of the laboratory's pet cats. They found t...
Read full storyBush Administration Announces $600 Tax Refund, Utopia Immediately Forms
(Rotters) U.S. President Bush and his administration recently announced a bonus tax rebate to most American tax filers.
Read full storyGordon Ramsay buys Neverland from Michael Jackson for Beckham's birthday
Foul mouthed celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay has paid Michael Jackson a reported £450,000 for the Neverland Ranch in Santa Barbara, California.
Read full storyPrince Philip Caught Dogging With Carla Brunei
Amidst all the pomp and ceremony of the French state visit by Nicolas Sarkozy and his new Mrs, Carla Brunei, cracks in their relationship are already showing. Ms Brunei delights in showing her dirty washing in public.
Read full storySpitzer call girl is gay transvestite called Horace
New York - (Cheap Ass Mess): Federal agents looking for Eliot Spitzer's favorite hooker have said that 'Kirsten' as she is known is really a gay Queens transvestite contortionist called Horace Bagpus.
Read full storyWicca Finally Proven to Be a Hoax
New documents have surfaced in the world of religion. Specifically, the Wicca religion. The chronicles in question, shed some light on the formation of the "world's oldest religion".
Read full storyInquest hears Anna Nicole Smith's son terrified of mother's boob-job
Nassau, Bahamas - (ReUterus): An inquest has heard how Daniel Smith, 20 year-old deceased son of Playboy centerfold Anna Nicole Smith, had become terrified and psychotic because of his mother's enormous false breasts.
Read full storyAshley Tisdale Pregnant By Outer-space Aliens
It has been reported that, starlet, Ashley Tisdale had been abducted by aliens. "Ash is not pregnant with my child," heartthrob Zac Efron states. "She was abducted by one of the aliens they were using to film her new movie. The little guy got a li...
Read full storyBrad Pitt and Leona Lewis reveal passionate affair
Brad Pitt and Leona Lewis have made a press announcement confirming that which many people have suspected for some time, that they are in the middle of a passionate affair.
Read full storyDr. Phil has nervous breakdown during taping of his show psychoanalyzing reasons for Miley Cyrus's name change
Hollywood, California - Although Miley Cyrus's name change barely registering on the media's radar as a blip, Dr. Phil may have just finished taping his last show dedicated to examining the tidbits of the fractured life of yet another celebri...
Read full story3.2 Million Teen Girls Dirty Little Ho'bags
About 1 in 4 teenage girls, in the United States, have had at least one sexually transmitted disease according to a recent study released by the CDC.
Read full storyBubble Wrap Popping can lead to Hearing Loss - Congress to make Bubble Wrap Laws
Yesterday, a group of scientist and researchers in Minot, North Dakota, released a statement saying that people who popped a great quantity of bubble wrap as child was 83.2546% more likely to have hearing loss as an adult.
Read full storyUpskirting entrepreneur to target tourists
Derrick Tugstaff, 43, of Spokane USA, has put a cheeky new twist on the familiar scene of photographers snapping holidaymakers and selling the pictures back to them.
Read full storyRoyal Opera House shrunken penis billboard actor offered nude Jesus role in Oberammergau Naked Passion Play
Oberammergau, Austria - (Bare-Faced Cheek & Ass Mess): "We did it for a bet and a bit of a laugh, really," was all that Royal Opera House executives said initially about their remorseless downsizing of an operatic tenor's penis in a po...
Read full storyNostradamus Foretold Hillary and Obama
(New York, NY) New age guru and Nostradamus scholar Brynne Tick announced today the discovery of several new quatrains of the famous prophet.
Read full storyMrs Sarkozy's sexy snaps revealed!
Sun Exclusive! - Prince Phillip is said to be among the most enthusiastic bidders on the steamy photographs of Carla Bruni, slutty wife to French president Nicolas Sarkozy, which are set to be auctioned at Christie's early next month. Phillip, a...
Read full storyNudists Move Out of Mousetrap Factory
A strike at mousetrap factory, which has been at the center of a protest by a group of nudist workers, has finally ended with both sides agreeing to a peace deal.
Read full storyGinger Denounces Mary Ann's Drug Abuse
Tina Louise, better known as 'Ginger' from 'Gilligan's Island', issued a statement today denouncing fellow cast mate, Dawn Wells', aka Mary Ann, drug abuse. Louise, calling from Hollywood's famous 'Home for Aged Actors...
Read full storyJK Rowling to write 'sleazy romance' novels from now on
JK Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter series, announced today that she has started a series of "sleazy romance" novels and hopes they become as popular as Harry Potter.
Read full storySeven Deadly Sins (Revised)
(ROME) The Vatican has spoken out on the subject of the Seven Magnificent Deadly Sins, and has come up with a modernised version of 'things to go to Hell for'.
Read full storyTom Cruise Gives Hand Job To Barbara Streisands Masseuse
Hollywood superstar Tom Cruise has finally found the man he wants. The loveable Scientologist has been searching the nation for a hand masseuse to keep his delicate hands soft and "calm his raging spirit" w...
Read full storyFuture American Idol David Archuleta faints amidst rumours of conspiracy
Los Angeles: American Idol contestant and future American Idol David Awwww-chuleta has already won many talent contests, regional as well as national, but the 17 year old still seems to be unaccustomed to all the media attention tha...
Read full storyPing Pong Legend Pong Ping Poo Dies Aged 97
The world of professional table tennis is in morning today after the announcement by Chinese state television of the un-expected death of Pong Ping Poo, the greatest exponent of the game in it's long and distinguished history.
Read full storyGoogle Acquires Spoof, Vows To Get Rid Of 'Terrible Writers'
Google, the biggest internet search engine in the Universe, has taken control of little-known satirical news website TheSpoof.com, and has announced 'major changes' to its administration, says a report. Owners of Google, John and Jason Google of O...
Read full storyBoat Race Latest
The 2008 Boat Race gets under way this Saturday, with the news that this year's event is to be longer than in previous years, by some considerable distance, and will be rowed in the opposite direction
Read full storyNorma Snockers to marry Ivor Biggun Junior
The up market Magazine The Titler has announced the forthcoming marriage between Norma Snockers and Ivor Biggun Junior.
Read full storyStephen Hawking Is A Lazy Idiot, Woman Tells Neighbour
Professor Stephen Hawking, the cleverest man in the world, has been dubbed "an idiot" by a lady on a bus in Yorkshire, over the paraplegic's dealings with his second wife.
Read full storyHarry Potter Star Pregnant?
Rumours have been circulating that teen actor Daniel Radcliffe (18) is up the duff. Yes, Pregnant.
Read full storyGaping pussy whisperer has jaw put back
Locally famous 'Pussy Whisperer' Smitch Cumstein of County County, Idaho, Nebraska yesterday had his jaw relocated after it was swiped by 'Toot Toot', a 2 year old Siamese three legged cat of minor proportions, but an excellent Forward Defensive Stro...
Read full storyDian Fossey and Jane Goodall Once in Love Triangle
Dian Fossey studied gorilla activities in Africa and was murdered in 1985 for her efforts to protect gorilla populations. Jane Goodall has studied chimpanzee populations and groups since the 1960s in the African wild. This publication has just lear...
Read full storyMichael Jackson London lawsuit: CIA testifies Yoko Ono is Japanese Emperor Aki-Shit-Ho's sister
London - (Chrysanthemum Puppet Throne Mess): In a surprise legal move the CIA was finally successfully subpoenaed in the Bahraini Royal Princeling v Michael Jackson lawsuit in London today.
Read full storyMillions Burn To Death During Earth Hour
(Philadelphia PA) Millions of Americans perished in flames during Earth Hour. The hour was meant to get people to conserve energy and fuel but it only led to an agonizing death for 299 million people across the country.
Read full storyAshington Earthquake Disaster Fund
A group has set up a disaster fund following the major earthquake measuring 5.3 on the Richter Scale which hit in the early hours of Wednesday morning at 12:56 a.m. Its epicentre was Ashington, Northumberland.
Read full storyEmma Watson Turns Nun
Harry Potter actress Emma Watson, 17, has got a calling from God and now realises that she can no longer go on working on the films because she must take her place in her local convent.
Read full storyBrett Favre Comes Out of Retirement After Only One Day, Signs Longterm Contract With Bears
Just one day after announcing his retirement, the NFL's all-time touchdown, completion, and interception leader has announced that he is coming out of retirement.
Read full storyMeat to be pulled out of colon
Two men have invented a way to enhance human health and profit while doing so.
Read full storyUNC's Doherty to be awarded Duke's Spire
DURHAM -- At the halftime of the Duke-Carolina men's basketball game, Duke University will award its highest non-academic honor, the Spire Award, which recognizes those who make the significant contributions "to improving the aesthetics of t...
Read full storyUFO Press Conference - What We DON'T Know
Washington - As this story continues to unfold, there is an ever increasing amount of suspicion aimed at the Federal government, military and intelligence agencies. While most are over joyed with the continuous outpour of seemingly endless informati...
Read full storyNBA Stunned by BYU Racial Discrimination Lawsuit
The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) confirmed today that Brigham Young University (BYU) has filed a racial discrimination lawsuit against the NBA. BYU's claims allege that "the NBA was reticent in hiring proportionate percenta...
Read full storyMaddie McCann, Birds and Boats and Planes etc. Tell me its not True its just a Fairy Story
Since the tragic disappearance of three year old Maddie McCann on 3rd May 2007, Clarence Mitchell, the McCann's Spokesman, and several well known Newspapers, have named every conceivably mode of transport, that Maddy may have been abducted in, t...
Read full storyPrison Break star wins zit squirting contest
Prison Break star Wentworth Miller won a large wager today when betting against a marginally talented writer who decided to try his hand at betting.
Read full storyVital Bush-era questions answered as Hustler signs Spitzer call girl for $5 million centerfold
New York - (Bare Ass Mess): Key political mysteries of the 21st century are about to be revealed with Hustler magazine's announcement today that it has signed a $5 million 10-page centerfold deal with Gov Spitzer's call girl Ashley A...
Read full storyJerry Hall: Mick caught crabs from Carla Brunei
London - (Lurid Ass Mess): Mick Jagger's ex-missus Jerry Hall has told reporters of her pubic lice horrors after the ageing rocker slept with Carla Brunei, current spouse of the French president.
Read full storyNaked American Idol photographs of all contestants to be published in Playgirl and Playboy
Nude photographs of American Idol stars are being published in next months issues of Playgirl and Playboy magazine. Causing a vast amount of excitement amongst many fans of the show.
Read full storyTom Cruise Grows Beard For Latest Role
Heterosexual Scientology-loving Hollywood heartthrob, Tom Cruise has grown a beard to portray Rumpelstiltskin in his latest movie. The star - who is married to a woman, and likes having sex with women and only women...
Read full storyCash Cab Spin Off Brings Vice Squad - Again and Again!
TV surprise hit show, Cash Cab where unsuspecting though rather rehearsed-looking passengers board a NYC cab and end up on a quiz show has captivated audiences for months now.
Read full storyXena star to film Amazon Women from Space movie in Plymouth
A very appealling film is set to begin filming this week in Plymouth, sometimes known as 'Pastietown'. The film is set to star Xena actress Lucy Lawless as an Amazonian warrior from beyond the stars.
Read full storyWondraBra Makers Announce "Wonder Pants"
The makers of the Wonder Bra have announced a new line of Wonder Boxer Shorts for men. Dubbed the "Wonder Pants", the male underwear 'enhancer' works much the same, as it's fema...
Read full storyBarack Obama to pose nude for Playgirl
In order to increase support for his waning presidential candidacy and to attract more gay and female voters, Senator Barack Obama has agreed to pose nude for Playgirl Magazine.
Read full storyIrish Nuns Launder Drug Money From Al Queda To Send To Polishers
Dublin (What's the crack mess) An underground network of evil Irish nuns are laundering drug money obtained via Al Queda sources and sending it to French Polishers - who then funnel the money back to Ireland where the nuns use the cash to buy Dan...
Read full storyJeremy Clarkson can't drive!
Jeremy Clarkson has admitted today, that he never passed his driver's test. The broadcaster and TV presenter, from Oxfordshire, told the press this morning, that he failed his exam.
Read full storyBikinis for men
Famous fashion designer Ralph Lauren (68) thinks he has stumbled upon on a tremendous idea that will take the fashion world by storm. His is going to design special bikinis for men, the bikinis will be nicknamed the man-kini and Ralph is hoping men w...
Read full storyHarry Potter's Daniel Radcliffe in Paternity Suit
In entertainment news- Daniel Radcliffe's co-star, in the theater production of Equus, is suing him for child support. It appears that in one the "sex" scenes, young Daniel got a little carried away. Now his co-star has given birth to h...
Read full storyAshley Dupré's MySpace Web Page infected with a virus; shutdown after five million hits...on it
Cyber Space - After receiving over five million hits, MySpace administrators discovered that Ashley Dupré's MySpace Web Page was carrying a little more than they bargained for. They discovered it was infected with a computer virus. Everyone who l...
Read full storyChicago Police Supt. Det. Dick Simmons Tells Pudgy Police: "Lose LBS or join the Oldies!"
The Chicago police dept has been gorging itself on deep dish pizza, Chicago Dogs and of course lots and lots of Doughnuts. As a result, they have been declared the pudgiest police in the USA. That is, until new Supt. Det. Dick Simmons brought his wor...
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