Maddie McCann, Birds and Boats and Planes etc. Tell me its not True its just a Fairy Story

Funny story written by Gordon Bennet

Tuesday, 18 March 2008


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The McCanns Spokesperson Clarence Mitchell in search of a few dollars more

Since the tragic disappearance of three year old Maddie McCann on 3rd May 2007, Clarence Mitchell, the McCann's Spokesman, and several well known Newspapers, have named every conceivably mode of transport, that Maddy may have been abducted in, to receive publicity.


Ocean Club Nanny, Kirsty Maryan who has been described as a key witness by Private Investigators Metodo 3, and as a wild Bird by local residents, often got pissed and stripped on her nights off flashing her boobs and bottom. Mr Mitchell did say "that he thought that even though the young ladies behaviour was inappropriate, she was an extremely reliable witness."

The other Bird, Nanny Charlotte Pennington claims she saw a man called Mr F Chichester in a small dinghy, kinking an object, which looked like the body of a small child, stored in the boats hull. Believe it or not, but Miss Pennington has worked in a Fairy Shop since the age of fourteen.


Just a few hours after Maddie disappeared an ex-pat, Mr N Parker claimed he saw a man carrying a young child across the Marina in Praia Da Luz to a Yacht. The child was then passed to a Mr C Blythe on the yacht, which shortly afterwards sailed out of the harbour, which was for the first time in two years.


Shortly after Maddie disappeared Mr N Parker also reported seeing a man carrying a young child to a light aircraft at the nearby airfield at Portimao. The child was then passed to a Mr H Biggles, who shortly afterwards took off in the plane, which was the first time for several months.

On Foot

Jane Tanner one of the infamous Tappas Nine claims she saw a Mediterranean type male carrying a small child away from the McCann's apartment at around 9.15pm on the fateful evening. Her artist's impression description which was so vague it was useless, suddenly magically transformed in to a completely different person. This was the first time a Mediterranean type male had been seen in the area, for several months.

By Taxi

Sixty seven year old Taxi Drive Senor J Clarkson, claims he transported three men, a woman and a young girl in pink pyjamas with a distinctive eye mark, to a Hotel in Villa Real De Sanyo Antonio near Faro. He claims that one of the men resembled suspect Robert Murat, and the woman Kate McCann, Maddie's mother. This was the first time in Portugal, a young girl had been seen with her Mother in a Taxi for more than three years.

By Jet Ski

Just nine hours after Maddie was reported missing, Mr N Parker saw a bundle of clothing the same size as a small child, being carried off the local beach to a Jet Ski. The bundle was then handed to a Mr G Rusedski on the Jet Ski, which then disappeared out to sea, which was the first time for several weeks.


Regardless of the spin spun by Gerry, Kate and Clarence, it is a fact that the Portuguese Police believe that two out of three of the suspects are indeed, Gerry and Kate McCann.

Gerry and Kate McCann and Mr Mitchell, are the only three people in the World who actually believe that a miracle will occur and Maddie will turn up one day.

They are so convinced of the fact that they are prepared to spend over £1 Million to find her.

Apparently over half of the money will have been paid to Barcelona based Private Detective Agency Metodo 3, who claim a 100% record in finding children. That is up to now, as the only thing that they have achieved so far, is to move in to plush new Offices.

Never in the history of a missing person have so many rich and famous celebrities become involved, either by donating money or promoting publicity.

Never in history have so many unknown people tried to become famous, for claiming to have spotted a missing person.

So there we have it, Birds and Boats and Planes, a Jet Ski, a Mediterranean looking bloke in Portugal, numerous people trying to get in to a Newspaper and a Bird who worked in a Fairy Shop.

Tell me it is not true its just a Fairy Story!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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