New York - (Cheap Ass Mess): Federal agents looking for Eliot Spitzer's favorite hooker have said that 'Kirsten' as she is known is really a gay Queens transvestite contortionist called Horace Bagpus.
The two met frequently in a variety of disguises at a Washington AC/DC hotel called The Mayflower where President Bill Clinton was snapped fondling Monica Lewinsky back in '96.
Spitzer has lavished over $80,000 pursuing his hobby after developing a taste for exotica during a remarkable legal career culminating in a landslide victory as New York Governor.
His attorneys have claimed no prostitution is involved and that their client was merely 'rewarding' a top informant whose insider knowledge had helped Spitzer smash vice rings during his tenure of NY's Attorney General's orifice.
A resignation statement is expected today.
