Written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 26 March 2008

image for Jerry Hall: Mick caught crabs from Carla Brunei
Jerry Hall: "..three whole days armed with tweezers, magnifying glass and mini gas torch..."

London - (Lurid Ass Mess): Mick Jagger's ex-missus Jerry Hall has told reporters of her pubic lice horrors after the ageing rocker slept with Carla Brunei, current spouse of the French president.

Hall, 50, said she spent three whole days armed with tweezers, magnifying glass and mini gas torch 'picking out the filthy little critters' before resorting to a Brazilian.

"Sure the magnifying glass always helped during my marriage," Hall commented, "particularly when I needed to find Mick's manhood in a hurry."

Hall's comments come as the woman credited with infesting her privates and ruining her marriage prepares for tonight's crowning glory at Windsor Castle.

Brunei - a distant cousin of Prince Jefri Archer of Brunei -and her new husband Nicholas Hess-Sarkozy will dine at a glittering state banquet at Windsor's St George's Hole.

"Unfortunately there's no spring chicken on the menu," Windsor chef Jamie O'Bollox said today.

"Mostly it's just crab pate, stuffed crow, roast frog and a few slimy old snails we found sticking to the Castle moat."

Camilla is foaming at the mouth.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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