There were 227 spoof news stories published in January 2017. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
The 14,000-year-old Cave Etchings in Spain: Back to the Future?
Plenty of animals depicted in the etchings, of course. But that's not all. Analysis of the etchings provided some surprises. Here are a few of them: -- Renditions, at various stages of development, of the recently completed (FINALLY!) Second Avenue Subway in NYC. -- Flying thingies that resemble drones. -- An Amazon bookstore. -- A woman's pantsuit with the initials 'HC' on the collar...
Read full story400 Lb. Man In Parents Basement Confesses To Hacking DNC
Surprising everyone but Donald Trump, a man in Lakewood, Colorado, has admitted that he is the one who hacked into the DNC during the 2016 presidential campaign. Showing just how prescient Donald Trump's prediction was of who the hacker might be,...
Read full storyTrump Reveals Hillary Clinton Is Spawn Of Roswell Incident Alien
Relying on his own super-duper-secret intelligence sources, Donald Trump has revealed what he knows about the Roswell Incident, an event in 1947 where some claim the US military covered up the crash of an alien spaceship and the death of two alien pa...
Read full storyKanye West Makes Muskrat Love
Hidden Hills, CA - Somebody please call Taylor Swift because Kanye West is at it again. Kanye is begging Taylor Swift to make "Muskrat Love" with him. "Muskrat Love" is the 1976 hit song by the Captain & Tennille. Nobody is waiting for the...
Read full storyDonald Trump's Start-Up Company, Kentucky Klepto*Graph, to Save Struggling Kentucky Town
OLE PLAYING POSSUM, Ky. - Donald Trump is starting up a small industry in this small Kentucky town, once a coal mining center for the local area. About a decade ago, 300 high-paying coal mining jobs were lost here and the small village has seen bette...
Read full storyEdible Bitcoin Sells Out
Bitcoin is now edible and selling like hot cakes. Bitcoin is an Internet currency sensation worth $1000 per Bitcoin. It can now be converted into little bits of gold plated chocolate coins. "Each Bitcoin is worth ten chocolate bits, which are...
Read full storyScientists discover missing particle responsible for racism
Work carried out by scientists at CERN and published in this month's Nature Journal detail the surprise results of the experiment. Prof Brian Cox (not the leading scientist on the experiment but the only one lay people know) explains the findings, wh...
Read full storySteve Bannon's White House Decorator Revives "Whites Only" And "Colored" Bathrooms For Black History Month
Besides eliminating the new all gender bathrooms in the White House, Steve Bannon's decorator is having the old Whites Only and Colored designations painted on the bathroom doors. Because the redecorating was announced during Black History Month,...
Read full storyDonald Trump Proves Existence of the Multiverse
In a groundbreaking pronouncement, the International Forum of Theoretical Physicists today stated that Donald Trump's election confirmed the existence of the multiverse. At a press conference held at the National Academy of Sciences, Belinda Suarez,...
Read full storyNorth Korea's Kim Jong Un Has Become So Huge His Aids Have to Use Heavy Equipment to Move Him
Peoria, Illinois, USA The Caterpillar Co., the world's largest manufacturer of heavy machinery, reports that they have discovered that Kim Jong-Un, the North Korean dictator, has gained so much weight that he can no longer use his legs to move his he...
Read full storyTrump Plan Leaves Reporters Wall Eyed
Thursday, Presidente Donaldo Juan Trump outlined bold initiatives to finance the construction of an impenetrable barrier to the southern border of the United States. In a joint venture with the Church & Dwight Company, the first stage of the wall...
Read full storyBill Cosby Pitches New Show With Cute, Furry Animals
Beleaguered comedian Bill Cosby is pitching a new show to NBC, the network that scored big on running his show in the early 1990s. "Since NBC is ignoring my calls and my agent told me right before he quit that I have an 'image' problem, I thought...
Read full storyGlobal warming threatens freezing Europe!
After years of warming up, the globe has proven once again that advocates of desert doom all are right, by freezing half of Europe! From Reykjavik to Istanbul layers upon layers of snow and ice have been causing chaos as European inhabitants come...
Read full storyTrump To Destroy Scientific Data
Nine members of Trump's transition team do not believe in climate change and all cabinet appointments that deal with global warming do not believe in it. Furthermore appointments to government agencies that deal with climate change are climate chang...
Read full storyLeft Wingers To Help NRA & Gun Makers
CHICAGO TRIBUNE AP -- Since the November election gun sales, which more than doubled under Obama, have been dropping sharply, because of lessened fears that the government will take away the assault rifles and other armaments we need to protect...
Read full storyTrump trading the Electoral College to Vladimir Putin
Trump Tower, New York -- In a move filled with more irony than even Anthony Weiner can contemplate, presidential elect Donald Trump plans to sell America's Electoral College to the Russians as soon as he takes office next month. "The Electoral Col...
Read full storyTrumpcare To Hire Veterinarians And Auto Mechanics To Lower Costs
In a preview of what will be replacing Obamacare, Ivanka Trump rolled out the first prototype Trumpcare Wellness Center, in Flint, Michigan. President Trump praised Ivanka while he was speaking at another anti-intelligence rally. "I'm really p...
Read full storyWhat the Swiss are Missing
When we think of Switzerland, what springs to mind? Our imagination fills with a plethora, of awesome, sweeping, giant ice-capped mountains, with deep forested, green valleys, strewn with little log havens. Men stuck up mountains, blowing each other'...
Read full storyTransylvania Tourism Booms Since Melania Trump Was Recalled
Since news broke that First Lady Melania Trump was reanimated from the dead in Transylvania, thousands of people have flocked to the area to sight see and to take a tour of Cryotech Re-animators, Melania Trump's birthplace. Most affected is the to...
Read full storyWurzels to play at President Trump's Inauguration
World famous Cider Drinkers, and purveyors of jokey country pop, The Wurzels are the only band who will play at President Trumps big party on January 20th. The group, known for such hits as 'I've Got A Brand New Combine Harvester' 'I Had A Brand N...
Read full storyDonald Trump to cut budget for Superhero Insurance
President Elect Donald Trump has said he will cut the budget for superhero insurance after January 20th. For years, individuals such as Superman, Batman, Spiderman, and the long forgotten Goat Boy have been destroying large areas of downtown Gotha...
Read full storyUS Senate To Investigate Recent Rash Of Feminist Crotch Grabbing Incidents
After a topless feminist protester grabbed President Trump by the crotch while he was visiting a wax museum in Madrid, Spain, a wave of copycat attacks have plagued men who are caught alone in elevators, offices and public places. As the attacks...
Read full storySteve Harvey calls Obama mediocre negro for living with a transvestite
Hollywood, CA - On Monday's Family Feud show, when the question "what would you say to a man who lives with a transvestite?" came up, Steve Harvey went ballistic when none of the contestants could come up with any responses; all they did was blush an...
Read full storyMelania Trump Files For Divorce
Donald Trump has set precedent after precedent on his way to the White House, now it seems he will be the first sitting president to get a divorce. According to a close friend of the First Lady, Melania Trump cited Donald's womanizing and bullyin...
Read full storyAl Gore Guesses
Environmental campaigner and ex presidential candidate Al Gore has said he "hopes for the best" in President Trump (it will never not be hilarious writing that) and his attitude towards climate change. A subject that Mr Trump himself has dismissed as...
Read full storyDonald Trump breaks ground on building giant Wahl on US-Mexican border
U.S. - Mexican Border "A momentous occasion for American democracy" as described by White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer happened today in the desert of the American Southwest. There we saw the laying of the foundation of the border Wahl that...
Read full storyDad Runs Out Of Things To Say To His Kids On The Fourth Snow Day
After enduring 4 snow days in a row Greg Smith realized he had nothing left to say to his kids. After exhausting conversations around snowmen, santa, legos, elf on a shelf and chicken nuggets Greg resigned himself to the fact that his kids really hav...
Read full storyThe American Dream Over, Trump's American Nightmare Begins
The American Dream, that belief in the freedom that allows all United States citizens and residents to achieve their goals in life through hard work, the opportunity for children to receive an education and subsequent career opportunities, and the ch...
Read full storyMexican Beer Importers Bracing For A Trump Ban, Meanwhile Business Quadruples
In the face of President Trump's threatened ban, stocks are soaring for Mexican brewers, as well as distributors and sellers of Mexican beer. Reached by phone, Molly Snipes, CEO of Molotov distributors in Denver, talked to this reporter about the...
Read full story"Angie Merkel is an old bag" Trump claims!
Donald Trump has decided to launch his diplomatic foreign policies and true to the man, he is now being called "Mr Diplomacy" at UN and EU headquarters. The only ones loving his directives are Russia and the UK; well UK politicians love licking US Pr...
Read full storyRedheads concerned how Donald Trump will affect their Image
Being a redhead isn't easy. From being burned as witches, to being turned away from sperm banks and servers in Hawaii hesitating to serve spicy food to you, no one ever wanted to grow up to feel like the red-headed step child. Apart from the occasion...
Read full storyTit controls at European airports cause embarrassment for female passengers!
Women entering some major European airports are being pulled aside by customs and security officers for a "tit control!" The controls were introduced because many women entering European countries from the Far East were carrying pumps for milking...
Read full storyDonald Trump Announces Grand Opening of Las Vegas "PornoLand"
Come one, come all. In a recent press conference, Donald Trump unveiled a major accomplishment that only a select few people knew about: an entirely adult-oriented and adult-themed amusement park on the outskirts of Las Vegas, NV. This reporter h...
Read full storyNeurologist: Millions Afflicted With "Tweetism"
Hundreds of Millions of people around the globe have a new modern illness called Diminished Intellectual Capacity and Knowledge Starvation or DICKS for short. Tweetism, however seems to be the popular handle for the newly named illness, and as the na...
Read full storyTo avoid conflicts of interest, Donald Trump tweets he will move all his businesses to Russia
NEW YORK, N.Y. - In a nebulous correspondence sent from his cell phone via Twitter at 3:13 a.m. on Sunday, Jan. 1, 2017, Donald Trump tweeted: I will be moving each and every one of my businesses from the USA and other countries to Russia. Althou...
Read full storyTo Kill, or not to Kill: Kim Jong Un
South Korea have admitted (what we all knew) that they have a special team trained and ready to go: To kill North Korean midget of evil Kim Jong Un. Despite the fact that he looks like the kid who would smugly answer all the questions in a Geograp...
Read full storyLiberal Doctors Give Hernia Patient Full Sex Re-assignment Surgery
Alvin Benton checked into Baltimore Surgical Hospital for a routine hernia repair and woke up 14 hours later to find he had undergone a sex change operation and is now physically a woman. A team of five surgeons led by Dr. Chopra Wienerhoff perfor...
Read full storyTrump Tweets Denials as Vegas Bets on Trumpgate
Las Vegas, NV - Gentlemen, and Ladies, place your bets. Trumpgate is the hottest game in Vegas. For $100 wager, gamblers can choose the number of days or years Trump will remain in the office of President before being forced to resign or impeached...
Read full storyTrump's Face To Be On Mt Rushmore
Donald Trump has announced that his next plan is to have his visage sculpted onto Mt. Rushmore. A 60-foot-tall replica of Trump's face will join George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln, making his the fifth sc...
Read full storyWhite House Insists Size Does Matter, Singles Out Pregnant Spoof Reporter
In the alternate universe of Donald Trump and his supporters, the facts are whatever they say they are, so after the media reported that the throngs of anti-Trump protesters in DC outnumbered the crowds in town for the President's inauguration, the W...
Read full storyMarco Polo Banned from All Disney Resorts
Orlando, FL - Disney announced today that it has banned Marco Polo from its resorts and has banned anyone on a Disney resort property from even mentioning the name. The press release by Disney states, "Marco Polo takes over our pool area. The nam...
Read full story"You're breaking my balls, man!" - California resident cuts off his testes in protest of Trump's wall
Blake Blu Cox III, 24, says he was forced to castrate himself after Trump's executive order on border patrol was signed into action, in which a wall separating Texas and Mexico a became reality. Cox, who is now suing the state of Cali and the...
Read full storyWitch Uses Gluten Free House to Entrap Children
Her walkway is lined with sugarless candy canes and her lawn is covered over with gluten free danishes. With the sides of her house made of non trans fat chicken fingers, a roof full of diet doughnuts and windows of sugarless sugar, the dimwitted wi...
Read full storyCop Angered By Krispy Kreme Box
An unnamed, unidentified police officer has claimed in a blog post online that his box of donuts from Krispy Kreme were graffitied when he received them with the phrase, "Black Lives Matter." The alleged incident occurred in New Smyrna, Georgia, a...
Read full storyMy friend Jacko lands a job interviewing dead people who voted for Hillary Clinton
Upon much hesitancy and bewilderment, I joined my friend and neighbor Jacko, who visited a few local graveyards yesterday for a new job he just started. Jacko landed a job in the messy, stinking "Trump Dumpster" as an interviewer, investigator, a...
Read full story70 year old US man robs bank to escape his missus!
Mr Lawrence Ripple (Name not changed for legal reasons; this story is just so ridiculous it's true!) from Kansas, USA, decided to rob a local bank; not because he was destitute, bankrupt or just wanted to escape Trump bullshit, no! He robbed the b...
Read full storyPizza Parlor Panic!
Montgomery Ala.: Creation scientist have issued a dire warning against eating pizza. Ford Cellars, of the Bible Center for Spiritual Research said they have evidence that consumption of the cuisine may lead to pedophila. "We've kept a close e...
Read full storyNow That Trump is President, Canada Wants a Wall Too
Ottawa, Canada Legislators in Canada's Parliament voted in favor of erecting a wall on the U.S./Canada border. "We have so many illegal immigrants trying to get into Canada from the United States that we feel the only way to stem the tide is to bu...
Read full storyWorthless celebrity robbed at gunpoint in Paris!
Visiting Paris in fashion week seems to be slightly more difficult for worthless celebs these days, even they get robbed at gunpoint! Rather boring, quite useless celeb (apart from flashing her butt and married to another waste of space rapper cal...
Read full storyPot Farmers Dream Of Growing A Crop On Mars
Hi-tech potheads in California want to be the first people to farm on Mars, and farmer Tad Hope is ready to take on the mission. Hope, a vocal proponent of the Green Mars movement, has posted numerous videos of his concept and test farm in Cedar K...
Read full storyLaid off Ringling Brothers Clowns Adding To More Scary Clown Sightings
The Greatest show on earth, the Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus, will be ending after 5,421 years in existance. The circus' inception occurred in England shortly after the creation of Stonehenge when P.T. Barnum convinced the druids to...
Read full storyBoss who expects to always get his own way cannot understand why people hate him
In business news in Swanage (other medium sized places are available) a Mr Richard Potato does not understand why people in the office think he is a bit of a prick. The underwhelming figure of Mr Potato 52, said 'I know that the rest of the office...
Read full storyRocky Horror Trump show is now being performed in the White House!
President elect, "Rocky Trump", has decided to perform a new version of the seventies Broadway show and film every time he confronts the press! Trump says, "what is the point of being serious standing in front of a bunch of journo baboons who repr...
Read full storyTexas Instruments introduces the Wife's Calculator
Jenn Swenson V.P. of business development for Texas Instruments Inc. has brought to market a product that many people feel existed already. The Wife's Calculator is 99% a regular calculator, it adds, subtract, multiplies, divides, works percentages,...
Read full storyTelecom Companies Dramatically Improve Service and Image with Name Changes
New York - Time Warner and Comcast, once among the most disrespected companies among U.S. consumers, have succeeded in becoming among the highest rated firms in annual surveys by various business oriented publications, after shifting their brands to...
Read full storyFBI Stages Coup, Puts Trump Into White House
The FBI Director is the most powerful man in America. This is so because Comey changed the course of the U.S. Presidential election and got Donald J. Trump Elected by his misuse of Hillary Clinton's e-mails. The evidence presented below is incont...
Read full storyMan afraid of dentists turns to exploding e-cigs to remove problematic teeth
Washington, D.C. - Most people don't enjoy seeing dentists, but some have a serious fear of receiving dental care. Local man Juan Diente revealed to us yesterday that he's had dental phobia for as long as he can remember. "I think the last time I wen...
Read full storyPussy flavored lip balm:Â Trump Inaugural Ball souvenir!
The Associated Press is reporting this morning that sources within the Trump transition team have informed them that Pussy flavored lip balm will be offered at the web site MakeAmericaGreatAgain.grab and a sample pack will be given to every attendee...
Read full storyEvidence surfaces suggesting Donald Trump is actually the Joker
A recent tweet that has been attributed to voice actor, and Luke Skywalker purveyor, Mark Hamill, is just the latest piece of evidence pointing to the possibility that Donald Trump might just be a disguise for Batman's perennial arch nemesis, the Jok...
Read full storyComedy Writers Plan Their Own March On Washington
After millions of people staged weeks of protests against President Trump, comedians decided to organize their own march on Washington. President Trump has been God's gift to comedy since he first announced his candidacy, but things haven't been s...
Read full storyHomophobe Relieved To Find Lesbian Couple Actually Woman and Man With Cancer
27 year old homophobe Chris Terny was sitting in his favorite local restaurant last Tuesday when he witnessed what he believed to be a lesbian couple walk-in and sit next to him. "I was disgusted, I mean, you see a lot of this stuff on T.V, but r...
Read full storyTeenager Failing Math Blamed for China's Superior Economy
Brian Mahoney, 8th grader at Phillipson elementary school in Phillipson Pa. has been failing or nearly failing Math for 6 consecutive quarters leading to China's overwhelming economic superiority. "I just really suck at math" Brian stated i...
Read full storyNew Poll Reveals Most People Voted for Donald Trump Because They Thought it Would Keep His Reality Show Off the Air
Los Angeles, CA The Berkeley Research Panel released a poll which revealed that most Americans, sick and tired of Trump's reality show, Celebrity Apprentice, voted for Trump simply because they figured it would keep him too busy to run more programs.
Read full storyMormon Tabernacle Choir Wraps Up Tour of Quebec
"The French Canadians are quite friendly," said choir director Brigham Smith in a press release, "and we were generally well received, but some of our interactions with the Quebecois were rather puzzling, to say the least." "For instance, can som...
Read full storyNearly 70 Democratic lawmakers now skipping to Trump's inauguration
An ebullient gaggle of Democratic Congress critters will skip to President-elect Donald Trump's inauguration today to demonstrate their joy in what they describe as his heartening and unifying tweets. When asked why they were not taking the bus, b...
Read full storyDonald J. "The Donald" Trump Makes the Preamble to the Constitution Great Again
Read the Constitution? Why not write -or re-write- the Constitution? That's Donald J. Trump's new obsession: "fixing" the Constitution he believes is somehow broken. Trump's fascination with the document that has been the basis for American polit...
Read full storyTrump eyes Moon
In a shock revelation President-elect Mr Trump, has revealed his plans to launch an attack on the moon. "It's a beautiful place, truly, wonderful place, and it should belong to the greatest country on earth - America". He goes on to explain that A...
Read full story"Pussy Riot" to Perform at Trump's Inauguration
Given the reluctance of bleeding heart tree hugging American artsy musicians to perform at the inauguration of their newly elected Dear Leader, Washington staffers have booked the Russian punk band "Pussy Riot" to headline at the event. Russian pr...
Read full story"Nyet P and Nyet Party For Trump in Russia" Announces Putin
Moscow, Russia Russian head Vladimir Putin, or "Putey" as Trump refers to him, took to the airwaves to announce that there wasn't any secret party where Trump hired Russian prostitutes to urinate on the bed that Obama had slept in on HIS trip to Russ...
Read full storyGolden Showers, Orange Complexion: Donald Urine Trouble
Pissgate, as some are calling the US President's first big scandal, may be the cause of the president's orange face and skin color, not overuse of spray tan. As creepy and hilarious as it sounds, the story started when Canadian super spy Jeb Madso...
Read full storyPink Floyd to release 2017 version of their classic album, The Wall, renamed Trump's Wall!
No Pink, no more, "Teachers leave us alone" and certainly no more Bob Geldorf attempting to act! The latest version of Pink Floyd's classic album will be filled with anti-Trump anthems and promises to be as popular as the original version! Members...
Read full storyDonald Trump Death and Doom State College will begin classes at Area 51 this fall
AREA 51, Nevada - Donald Trump has just founded a small public state college that will teach students how to make hydrogen bombs, nuclear missiles, and various types of torpedoes, light anti-tank weapons, and sundry varieties of weapons of mass destr...
Read full storyTrump vows to undo Michelle Obama's policies to "Make America Eat Again"
Through the majority of his campaign, Donald Trump fired up much his supporters with vows to undo many of defining policies of President Obama's administration, policies such as Obamacare, international agreements, & not jailing Hillary Clinton.
Read full storyScottish Football's Last Chance
The swivelling bowel of corruption that is FIFA has farted out it's newest half baked after birth covered idea. The world cup will be expanded to 48 teams. The declaration which was nailed onto the drawbridge at fortress FIFA read that by 2022, like...
Read full storyGoogle announces the householder-less house
Chandler, Arizona - Inkopay Ommiecay, spokesman for Google, announced today that Google has invented the householder-less house. Related story Google gives driverless cars the green light for business, but are we really ready for AI piloted veh...
Read full storyNYC's Annual 5th Ave Parades Rerouted
Due to presidential security concerns, multiple major New York parades will not be passing by Trump Tower on 5th Avenue during the course of his presidency. Security advisors deem it too unsafe to manage such large crowds in front of the President's...
Read full storyHull City Fans In New Protest
Hull City supporters, angry at the lack of investment in the club by its owners, which has resulted in a shortage of available players from which new manager Marco Silva can select, have organised a new protest. The fans attending Saturday's home...
Read full storyTrump wants bust of Obama in Oval Office
Trump Tower - Alex Jones, spokesman for the PEOTUS, Trump, revealed today that Trump changed his mind about wanting a Churchhill bust in his office. The BBC was stunned. They responded with attacks on Trump and a Churchill marathon. The Queen had...
Read full storyTrump claims to have the biggest hands in the world
In another bizarre rant at a press conference, the new US president has claimed that he has larger hands than anyone else in the world. He has asked the Guinness World Record organisation to verify them with an official measurement so that he can ent...
Read full storyTrump Proposes a Revival of NASA to Conquer Space and Claim It All For America!
Washington, DC President Trump gave a press conference to announce that he had signed an executive order permitting him to control future space exploration, and to stake legal claims to anything found. "I don't think it's unfair to give the perso...
Read full storyCelebrities Petition Media to Run Stories About Them Instead of Trump
Hollywood, CA Tired of being ignored by the media since Donald Trump announced his candidacy, celebrities expressed their animosity in a petition sent to all the CEO's of the various media companies. "We had a monumental divorce, lawsuits, child c...
Read full storyDid you make a New Year's Resolution? Yeah, it's miserable, I know. So break it, shake it, and never look back!
So you've made your New Year's Resolution and you're already as miserable as all hell. The point is, all your New Year's Resolutions were made to rid you of things that are deeply rooted in what The Bible calls "The Seven Deadly Sins". These are the mortal sins that the Judeo-Christian God (sometimes "Judeo" here is spelled "Judo") will send you straight to hell for, if you don't get them under co...
Read full storyTrump People To Promote Anti-Science Beliefs In Schools
NEW YORK TIMES by Elmer Gantry Donald Trump has appointed Betsy DeVos, who is dedicated to undermining and eliminating the public school system as the secretary of education. She is a fundamentalist Christian member of a Protestant denomin...
Read full storyChivalry Not Quite Dead Yet, New Study Finds
NEW YORK, NY - Despite previous claims that chivalry had died, new research suggests that, though in critical condition, it is, in fact, still alive. Originally a set of principles for medieval knights, chivalry had, in more recent centuries lead...
Read full storyMcDonald's opens in St. Peter's Square: Want Friars with That?
Vatican City - - Don't give me that old time religion. Fast food leader McDonald's is incorporating nutrition with salvation, locating its next new restaurant in the spiritual heart of the Catholic Church. The St. Peter's Square site was home la...
Read full storyPutin Supports Trump, Says He Also Wants America First
Vladimir Putin held a news conference on Saturday, January 28 to discuss the telephone conversation he had earlier in the day with President Donald J. Trump of the United States. Putin described the conversation as friendly and constructive, a start...
Read full storyMr. Dump was a real ratfink!
Mr. Dump was what we called the old coot. His name had meaning because the old guy operated a landfill right up the road from our house and rats ran all over the place. Now don't get me wrong, we didn't live in a ghetto but in a pretty nice part of the countryside. It sort of looked like a pastoral scene out of a poem by one of the cavalier poets or something right off Edward Scissorhands, that we...
Read full storyJesus Stands by His People, Makes Sure Black Lives Matter in Birmingham
Jesus found himself in the news again, this time in Birmingham, Alabama, the cradle of the Civil Rights movement. The Savior vowed to stand by His "people" until the "White Devils," as he called them, stopped physically harassing them as they did at...
Read full storyThe world awaits a clash of fallen Titans not hoping for a Phoenix to rise from the ashes!
Manchester, Sunday 15th on January, sees two once titanic giants clash in a Theater of Dreams, or a nightmare for one, depending who wins and loses this monumental battle. The crowns of these two giants has slipped drastically in recent years, but...
Read full storyMan Who Predicted Trump Victory Says Aliens Helped Him Win
Donald Trump continues to pedal the theory that fraudulent illegal alien voters cost him the popular vote in the presidential election. Now, the man who predicted Donald Trump would win the election says, it was not illegal aliens, but space aliens that tipped the US election in Trump's favor. I talked to Tony Fife at his compound in Gaslight, Nevada, where he and others like him are prepar...
Read full storyState visit of King of Timbuktu difficult for Queen!
British PM, Theresa May and her dope Foreign Minister, BOJO Johnson have asked the Queen to accept a visit from the king of Timbuktu this year. However, the Queen whilst sitting on her private throne and reading The Daily Star (Which others wipe thei...
Read full storySupreme court to hear "Move the N in Wednesday to before the D" argument
The seemingly interminable battle to have the letter N in Wednesday move to its more appropriate position before the D will now go to the Supreme Court. this has angered many in Britain's Parliament who have suggested sanctions against the United St...
Read full storyStatue of Liberty to Huddled Masses: F___ Off
Thanks to new president Donald Trump, the Statue of Liberty will bear a new inscription. The statue, which was gifted to the US from France to celebrate American independence, has long been inscripted with a poem by Emma Lazarus, "The New Colossus."...
Read full storyMalaysian Flight MH370 Finally Found in Man's Basement
Doomed Malaysian Airlines flight MH370, missing since March of 2014, has finally been found in a Clearwater, Florida man's basement. The flight consisting of 12 crew members and 277 passengers was thought to have crash landed in the Indian Ocean som...
Read full storyPresident Trump Signs Executive Order To Replace Pope
President Trump sparked worldwide protests again this weekend when he signed off on an order that replaces Pope Francis with controversial faith healing preacher Benny Hinn. The president signed the order with a huge Sharpie that ironically made h...
Read full storySatan Has Sex Change, Changes Name To "Hey Cortana"
After she checked out of McGillicutty Surgical Hospital in Dillonshire, England, Cortana met this reporter for an ale and to talk about her recent transformation. "Well, there's always been this, I guess--feminine part of me, you know I always wondered how things would have gone if I had been female, so after an eternity as a male I decided to see what life is like as a woman. And get the name...
Read full storyWest Virginia Family Torn Asunder by Son's Hobo Dreams
Eight-year-old Jack Strait of Morgantown, West Virginia, isn't overly concerned about the worsening economic downturn or rising college tuition rates; he's got another career option in mind. Jack recently informed his parents that he intends to be a...
Read full storyREVEALED: documents in Trump's folders were NOT blank
Washington, D.C. - After Donald Trump's first press conference as President-elect, the contents of the folders lying on the table next to the lectern where Trump spoke sparked a lot of speculation in the press and on social media. Trump indicated tha...
Read full storyXenu Escapes, Likes Trump and Decides to Go to Marcab Confederacy Instead of Invading Earth
It has been revealed by Trumps' public relations team that Xenu, who according to Scamatology texts, infected the human race with "body thetans" approximately 75 million years ago. Just a few days after Christmas, Xenu managed to escape from the electronic mountain trap in the Pyrenees that had held him for approximately 75 million years. Looking for Earth's leader, he came to Trump Tower to me...
Read full storyThe Grim Reaper to Attend President-elect Donald Trump's Inauguration
WASHINGTON, D.C.--Trump spokesperson and Slytherin wannabe Kellyanne Conway announced today on FOX News that the Grim Reaper would be attending President-elect Trump's Inauguration on January 20. Explained Mrs. Conway, through her forked tongue: "Y...
Read full story