The country is once again facing it's gravest threat. We the British people must stand strong and united in the face of such a unrelenting invasion! We are of course talking about the few days every year the entire country loses it's shit over some snow. The same snow that came down last year. And the year before that. And the year before that. And the year before.....
Back and to the Left news scaled the Met Offices Tower Of Weather and spoke to the chief shaman involved in predicting the forth coming weather patterns. He said:
"I have literally no idea why everyone is consistently surprised about the snow appearing in the winter. It's baffling. Like wondering why you're wet when you jump in a river."
We agreed but the British public, whipped into a insane frenzy by the red top papers, didn't believe a word of it. We caught up with a man steaming out of a Curry's holding three TVs.
"It's a epidemic! We need to stock up and somebody said the shops were running out of basics. Mob mentality just took hold I guess."
"So why are you holding TVs? They don't seem essential?"
He looked panicked for a moment before saying.
"How else am I to watch Strictly, Britain's got Talent or X-Factor? How am I supposed to know what to think? While I'm snowed in I'll be clued up."
In any other country in the world the entire infrastructure doesn't grind to a halt because of snow. A event that happens every single year but still seems to catch us all off guard. Back and to the Left news would like to think that all our Government departments that deal with winter weather are just chronically underfunded and understaffed. Although we reckon it's easier to blast "Killer Snow Incoming" all over the front pages than deal with any of the actual problems that are plaguing the country