It has been revealed by Trumps' public relations team that Xenu, who according to Scamatology texts, infected the human race with "body thetans" approximately 75 million years ago.
Just a few days after Christmas, Xenu managed to escape from the electronic mountain trap in the Pyrenees that had held him for approximately 75 million years. Looking for Earth's leader, he came to Trump Tower to meet with Trump.
"I'm looking for Earth's leader, the mightiest man on Earth" announced Xenu.
"That would be me" said Trump.
According to the Trump team, Trump and Xenu had some beers, had some locker room talk and laughs, and pretty soon Xenu was eating out of Trump's hands. Instead of invading Earth, Xenu decided he would go to the Marcab Confederacy instead.