Written by Backandtotheleft

Sunday, 8 January 2017

South Korea have admitted (what we all knew) that they have a special team trained and ready to go: To kill North Korean midget of evil Kim Jong Un.

Despite the fact that he looks like the kid who would smugly answer all the questions in a Geography lesson incorrectly Kim Jong (bad) Un, would be rather difficult to remove with force. Judging by the size of his ever expanding waistline it would take the force of ten men to move him from a buffet.

We at Back and to the Left news got a early draft of some of the ways that they will attempt to kill him.

1. Shoot him from South Korea. Due to the size of his head ballistic experts reckon that they can hit the brain damaged fucktard from Seoul.

2. Poison Him. Although known to have a food taster everyone knows that his greed prevents him from allowing even a single morsel to be taken from him.

3. Paint a grenade as a pie. Dead simple. Paint a grenade as a pie and roll it under his door. He'll devour it and explode in hilarious comic book fashion.

4. Just leave him alone. Have you seen him? The guy is obviously suffering from a mental health disorder and will probably die choking on sponge if left to his own devices. So the team may never even need to be deployed.

You would imagine with the level of starvation the way it is in North Korea the South might not have to train a special unit to take him out. If they promised a few loaves of bread to a street they'd probably take him out for you.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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