Transylvania Tourism Booms Since Melania Trump Was Recalled

Written by XRhonda Speaks

Saturday, 14 January 2017

image for Transylvania Tourism Booms Since Melania Trump Was Recalled
Melania and others like her are green when first re-animated because of the medications they must take.

Since news broke that First Lady Melania Trump was reanimated from the dead in Transylvania, thousands of people have flocked to the area to sight see and to take a tour of Cryotech Re-animators, Melania Trump's birthplace.

Most affected is the town of Narzsquant, the closest to Cryotech's main lab, it's the last stop for tourists and journalists before they arrive at the place that claims it made Melania Trump.

Meyer Hallsy, company founder and developer of Cryotech's proprietary and controversial re-animation technology, has emerged as a national hero of sorts, bringing much needed tourism to Romania's sputtering economy.

Hallsy just hired and trained a dozen new tour guides to keep up with the thousands of curiosity seekers descending on his facility. Yet, even while negotiating with a dozen biotech companies and their governments to bring his technology to a wider market, he still takes time to talk to and guide the press.

The day this reporter toured Cryotech, Hallsy spoke like a proud parent.

"When my wife Gestrina and I started our first lab in the 1980's, we were in the business of cryogenic storage, that is, our clients had died from terminal illnesses and wanted to be frozen until such time that technology can, one, thaw human tissue from a deep freeze with out damage, and two, can cure or reverse the cause of death in our clients."

"While my clients could only wait in a deep freeze, I went to work on the first problem of thawing them out with out damage. Within three years I was re-animating small animals, and then the first human assemblages, and now we have the fully developed Workbot and Pleasurebot models of which Melania Trump the First Lady of the US is the most famous."

As we're led past glittering rows of laboratory rooms made of stainless steel and glass, it's not hard to imagine the humble beginnings of Cryosphere Technology (their original company name) as Hallsy conjures up images of a 1950's science fair project when describing his early successes.

"My wife and I re-animated our first subjects inside a step van in the lab's garage, because we wouldn't heat the lab in those days, it was all about keeping it cold. We only dreamed of the kind of facility we have today: cryogenic clients are now stored in a state of the art full climate control unit until the joyful day that they can be thawed and cured. Our research labs are separate from each other based on the work each does, but our two thousand plus workers communicate across all disciplines and create a tremendous synergy of ideas that will propel Cryotech Re-animators into the future."

The Trump's are denying that Melania is re-animated from the dead, and have threatened to sue Cryotech for claiming she was, but so far nothing has been filed.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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