Russell Brand, 39, and Katy Perry, 36DD, Marry in India
Russell Brand, voted 2010's Most Unfunny Brit In America by Python Sucks magazine, has married fellow untalented pop-curiosity-of-the-moment Katy Perry in a ridiculously long Indian-style wedding in Greece this evening. Brand, driven out of Englan...
Read full storyNRA to branch out to reach other fear markets
Washington DC-- The NRA revealed a new campaign to help spread fear in areas other than gun ownership. "With the midterm elections looking like a sure thing for the republicans, we needed to expand our market base of fear to other areas in the Un...
Read full storyThe Obama Brothers: 2 Men, 4 Wives, Barry Off for Kenya Wedding & Rock Concert!
Festive wedding preparations are underway in Nairobi as it was announced Hussein Obama will be flying in for Brother Malik's wedding, to his third wife, during a national holiday declared by President Mwai Kibaki. Malik, 52, a practicing Muslim Po...
Read full storyJerry Brown Tells Meg Whitman She Has Ramshackle Ovaries And Clapboard Breasts
The nasty words and insults just keep on coming. During the debate between Jerry Brown and Meg Whitman the other night, there was some discussion about one of Brown's aides using the "W" word to describe Whitman. Brown tried to dodge responsibilty...
Read full storyUniversities face 4.2 billion quid pay cut.
Disaster in the United Kingdom as the budget for universities this year was slashed by 4.2 million pounds. Yes ladies and gentlemen. The result? The Oxford/Cambridge boat race has been cancelled. Many considered this event to be a waste of mon...
Read full storyBorn To Spoof: Chapter 11 - This Isn't Mogadishu
I hate being blown up. Explosions make me all giddy and dizzy and shit - and I mean, to be honest, I don't know what I'm doing most of the time, and explosions just complicate things. Like now. I should be in Mogadishu buying moonshine for the Oasis, but this can't be Mogadishu because there aren't any skinny blokes riding about in pickup trucks with machine guns. And now I've got some cl...
Read full story"Free Bird," "Tuesday's Gone" mistakenly chosen for Civil Rights documentary soundtrack
BIRMINGHAM, AL - The credibility of local Civil Rights group "Never Again" is under fire today by critics who called into question the soundtrack for its newly released documentary, which contains songs by Southern Rock band Lynyrd Skynyrd. "Free...
Read full storyJerry Brown Unzipped: Hard Copy, This??
SACRAMENTO, CA - As predicted, the full-tilt, low-blow politics, so firmly on display throughout much of the over-heated California governor race between Democratic retread Jerry Brown and Republican Queen Bee-in-Waiting Meg Whitman, appears to have…
Read full storyJudge who halted "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" reverses decision after finally renting 'The Birdcage.'
SAN FRANSISCO, CA - In an astonishing move, the federal judge who ended "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" has lifted the injunction, citing the "unbelievably gay" feature film 'The Birdcage,' which she rented over the weekend. On October 12, U.S. District C...
Read full storyAnimal Rights Angry Over Kirstie Alley's New Whaleskin Dress!
Animal rights groups are protesting the latest dress made especially for hefty actress Kirstie Alley which is made entirely from whale skin. "I'm not out to offend anyone", stated Ms. Alley. "I figured that if Lady Gaga can wear a meat dress, I ca...
Read full storyRon Paul's Son, Peter, Says Limited Nuclear War Could Be Just What We Need To Get Country Going!
Peter Paul, son of Ron Paul and little brother to Rand Paul who is running for the Senate in Kentucky next month, has even managed to startle his own family a bit. "Yeah, that kid", stated Ron Paul, shaking his head. "He's a lot more liberal than...
Read full storyAdam Lambert, Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus, Others In 3D Film
If you could choose to see your favorite singers in a 3D film that puts you in the audience, then you'll love hearing the fact that at least a dozen of today's top performers, even including Susan Boyle, will be releasing a "Live In 3D" movie next ye...
Read full storyWe are not responsible for Pak cricketers' mischief - RAW
It has come at last! The long expected denial from that dreaded counter espionage Indian agency the Research and Analysis Wing - RAW. "We are not responsible for the anti cricket activities of the Pak cricketers involved in much despised on the sp...
Read full storyNew Barbies Announced!
A New Series of Barbies were announced today at the National Toy Convention. The new Barbies are Gothic Barbie, and Barbie Smokes alot. "I believe these new Barbies will make alot of money" says the ghost of Ruth Handler (founder of the Barbie).
Read full storyWaiting for Something Else
Having missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime in waiting, a trip to Chile to participate in the monumental wait for the miners to find their way back to the surface, one time local man, Seaton Carew, has decided to embark on a new waiting adventure of his own. "I was a tad peeved when that cad Skoob suggested that I could wait for the miners as the bounder didn't suggest it until after the...
Read full storyAshton Kutcher Buys Demi Botox for her Birthday, Pays Price
Reportedly back in the dog house again, Ashton Kutcher, or perhaps more appropriately named as Mr. Demi Moore is back sleeping on the couch again after his birthday gift, including a year's supply of Botox treatments, put him in the 'persona non grat...
Read full storyAbsolutely No News Today about Justin Bieber or the Jonas Brothers
Shocking the entertainment news industry, independent paparazzi, and girls between the ages of 8 and 15 around the world, there is absolutely no news to report about Justin Beiber or the Jonas Brothers today. Catching television news programs like...
Read full storyFacebook Releases "Dislike Button" to Divided Public
(October 15, 2010 -- Palo Alto, CA) …Amidst a rampant increase in reports focused on America's bullying problem, the social networking powerhouse decided to unveil a revolutionary new feature that Facebook claims will revolutionize an industry in de...
Read full storyGay Man Enters from the Rear
Shopping Centre Toilets can be a hassle at the best of times, but when it's a Friday morning and all the shoppers are out and about in their droves you sometimes need to get a little adventurous. Well, that's what gay man Larry Sabu, 20, did when...
Read full storyBorn to Spoof: Chapter 10: Escaping the Country
International Spoofing Committee Records Message found on a scrap of paper located in Buenos Aries Marketplace. Suspect Identification Number 24. My name is Jean Le Fete. A few days ago I was tricked into becoming a Spoof writer by the mysterious #3. An assassination attempt on my life has prompted myself, as well as several satirical writers to go into hiding. We've fled the country v...
Read full storyGay Man Refused Permission To Buy Pink Slippers
The manager of a shoe shop in Winchester is in hot water with his bosses tonight, after he refused to serve an overtly gay man when the latter tried to purchase a pair of pink slippers, which, he claimed, were for his dear old Gran. Larry Sabu, 20...
Read full storyAn Interview First
Columbus television crews arrived at the scene of a devastating fire in which John Butthoff was killed. He had lived in the neighborhood for over 20 years. Bruce Starr, TV news favorite also arrived at the scene and immediately started interviewin...
Read full storyPorn Starlet In Anal Bleaching Mishap
Budding porno starlet, Venus Mound, was left today counting the cost of an unfortunate mix-up at a Hollywood anal bleaching salon. Apparently, anal bleaching is a 'must have' procedure in the adult movie industry, to prevent the anal ringpiece res...
Read full storyChilean Miners To Appear On Page 3 Of Daily Star
The 33 miners trapped in a Chilean copper and gold mine for almost ten weeks, are to feature in semi-nude, provocative poses in the Daily Star newspaper, readers have been told. This comes after the tabloid comic published a story in its Monday ed...
Read full storyGamu Nhenghu Pregnant?
Ex X Factor contestant Gamu Nhenghu has shown she is prepared to do anything...... and I mean ANYTHING to stay in the UK. However, it is being strongly insisted that it is purely coincidental that she may be four weeks pregnant with her British...
Read full storyGas masks for Fraud Squad in Asil Nadir corruption case
London - (Who's A Pretty Polly Then? Mess): "We're talking serious macrobial activity," a National Poisons Unit source explained this afternoon. "Dorkins from Toxicology came over all queer after just one whiff. And now he's in intensive care at...
Read full storyAngelina Jolie Adopts Bin Laden
Angelina Jolie adopted Osama Bin Laden today, and she continues to hide his whereabouts. "I'm very proud of my new son, he has proven himself the most loyal terrorist" says Jolie We asked her does it bother her that everybody in the United Sta...
Read full storyKatie Waissel-Cher Lloyd Girl On Girl Action DVD Faked By Buffty Ginslinger
In a Skoob Entertainment News exclusive, we can reveal here for the first time, that the hot lesbian sex action DVD which was on sale in certain Soho outlets from this morning, purporting to feature Katie Waissel and Cher Lloyd off the X-Factor, is a...
Read full storyFellaini out with hair ache
Everton midfielder Marouane Fellaini has been ruled out for a week with hair ache so will miss this weekend's Merseyside derby at home to Liverpool. Apparently Fellaini was taking an unusual trip the the hairdressers for a trim, where unfortunatel...
Read full storyNorth Korea declares war on popular Opticians
According to news wires around the globe North Korea have declared war on a popular UK optician chain all because of an advert for TV! The popular ads all poke fun at characters wearing cheap spectacles and are frequently seen on TV, but now it se...
Read full storyNew Gas Source Discovered
ECOVATIONS, an Obama stimulus-backed company in North Carolina specializing in locating new energy sources, announced today that they had located a massive new energy source in Chile, near the site of the recent mine disaster. The new gas, called...
Read full storyIsle of Wight News - Surfeit of Gnomes
It is unbelievable, but it has happened again. Once more the island has been inundated with far too many garden gnomes. Islanders will remember the 1972 Garden Gnome surplus that saw three garden gnomes for every man woman and child on the island.
Read full storyKelly Brook bulimic?
Pictures have emerged of Kelly Brook looking super thin following her break in the US. Reports are emerging that Brook, famous for her curves and ample bosom barely ate a thing during her three month stay in the US and she wss also apparently spen...
Read full storyNigerian Athlete Passes Drugs Test
There was more controversy at the Commonwealth Games in Delhi earlier today when a Nigerian athlete was given the all-clear after a drugs test. This came after earlier news that Nigeria's 400m relay runner Folashade Abugan had failed a drugs test.
Read full storyBritish Mine rescue team ready to fly to Chile
"Don't worry lad's, help is on the way" was the inspiring message as Britain's last remaining mine rescue team drove down to Heathrow airport in their Morris Marina. The team consisting of Mr Kevin Smally and his dowdy wife Sharon expect to be in...
Read full storyThe Diet of a Manga Fan!
I recently had the chance to sit down with an manga fan, her comics that she likes are Her Majesty's Dog, Naruto, Bleach, and Inyuasha. I found her habitat highly uninteresting, filled with posters and drawings of "Hot-Anime Yaoi Sex-Toys" Her diet included that of Ramen Noodles (poor people food) and Pocky (Japanese Poor Twix) This girl is not just an anime fan, she is as well Bi, a...
Read full storyCamera Crew Falls Into Chile Mine After Miners Were Freed
The last few of the miners were freed today, and then the BFNN News network camera crew fell into the mine, including they're journalist, Cindy Cobwell. Nobody was seriously hurt. "All I could do when it happened was... laugh" says Andy Cobwell,...
Read full storyCan Liverpool survive?
As the seagulls soar over the River Mersey and the clouds billow in the wind, the great city of Liverpool is facing possible extinction. Cilla Black has appealed to the referee but he took no notice. 'What a carry on' she said 'how can they let Li...
Read full storyJack Ass 3D - Shits Coming At Ya - Review
If you like watching people having their genitals hit by conkers you will love this new 3D movie. With the regular crew of Johnny and his pals getting up to their bizarre stunts expect pain, blood and snot all in abundance only now it's really in...
Read full storyGamu Nhengu to start her own X Factor
Gamu the lovable asylum seeker has decided to accept her fate and return to Zimbabwe and start her own X Factor. The Cole reject has apparently already had secret telephone calls with her new business partner Robert Mugabe (or Bobby Mug as he now...
Read full storyWhitney Houston, Bobby Brown Release New Holiday CD
Back together and reportedly clean and sober again, Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown are set to release a new Christmas CD that chronicles the trials and tribulations of their former troubled lives set to the sounds of Christmas. "It was a painful...
Read full storyRonnie Wood disappointed with Kate Moss
Ronnie Wood the string pinging dinosaur is said to be absolutely devastated at the news his latest love Kate Moss has married. Wood (very old) is believed to have locked himself away in his council house in Peckham and is refusing to answer the door.
Read full storyNancy Grace Defends Chilean Minors
Cable television rebel without a cause to blather on about, Nancy Grace quickly picked up on the story from the Atacama Desert where Chilean Minors had been recently arrested at a bar near the town of Calama. "It's simply and unequivocally a moral...
Read full storyJesse James Pleads with Sandra Bullock to Reconcile
Though a visibly upset Ms. Bullock had ended the relationship with the Hollywood biker king months ago, Jesse James has been spotted multiple times at Bullock's outer driveway gate pleading for entrance to talk about reconciliation. Buster Knuc...
Read full storyMichigan Allows Prostitution at Native American Casinos
Unable to pass the legalization of state-wide privatized prostitution through its house of representatives, Michigan lawmakers have agreed to allow Native American groups to open those extended personal services in existing Casinos on protected Reser...
Read full storyParis Hilton Shows Her T-ts For The Millionth Time
For the one millionth time since the world inexplicably began to give half a sh-t about her exploits, convicted coke-head and all-around meathole Paris Hilton unleashed her sweater meat on a Malibu beach yesterday. Where's the funny? Yeah, I don'...
Read full storyMoyels Boils with rage
The battle of the Chris DJ's commenced yesterday with Chris Evans finally agreeing that Chris Moyels is shit and even advising him to give up! The revelation came during a short TV interview where Evans (Ginger) was asked about Moyels recent pay r...
Read full storyMeet Herbert S. Simpleton the Third. The Village Bore.
Are you sitting comfortably? Preferably in a seat which is made from 89% polyester or another man-made fibre? Good. Let us commence. Eight letters. A lovely word. My name is Herbert S. Simpleton the Third. I come from a long line of Simpletons. In the First World War, my great-great grandfather Huey B. Simpleton the Twentieth was the Chief Flag Boy. He would carry the flag to the British...
Read full storyChilean Miner Wants To Get Back To Work
Florencio Avalos, the first of the heroic Chilean miners to be rescued, has told of his burning desire to get back down the pit. Following 69 days trapped underground in the San Jose mine, many would think his ambition insane but not brave Florenc...
Read full storyMale French Politicians Hit Back In Gender Row
French Finance Minister, Christine Lagarde, has claimed women make better politicians than men because they are not slave to their libidos. She reckons that women are less sexually driven and are therefore more able to make cool-headed judgements.
Read full storyGeneration Kill. Enquiry of friendly fire
Today an international enquiry concluded that a coalition soldier was injured by friendly forces during a high profile raid in a far off land. Lieuntenant Haggard was found to have injured his comrade after a mix up causing him to press L1 instead o...
Read full storyBaffled Canada Withdraws Bid For UN Chair
Canada's bid for a rotating seat on the United Nations Security Council has ended with a humiliating withdrawal. And in a statement to the world's media, a spokesman has revealed that the Canadian representives are baffled by the affair. "We ju...
Read full storyGod Shows Up at Papal Mass, Tells Pope: "Just Shut Up"
During a papal mass that was being given at the Vatican, God made a surprise visit and interrupted the Pope, who was speaking from the podium and told him: "JUST SHUT UP!" "JUST SHUT UP!" God yelled at the Pope. "Do me a favor and SHUT YOUR MOUTH! You are embarrassing me". "First off", God growled, "You are not the voice of God. The only person who is the voice of God is ME!!! What rea...
Read full storyRescued Chilean Miners Plead to Return to Cave
Copiapó, Chile (UPI) In a move that surprised many, several of the miners recently rescued asked to be returned their prior residence, a cavern a mile under the surface. Complete English translations from the Chilean Spanish that the miners speak were not available at the time of this writing, but those familiar with both languages said that the miner's explanations were well represented by thi...
Read full storyCarla Bruni Banned From State Visit To Vatican
The Vatican ordered Carla Bruni not to accompany her husband, French President Nicolas Sarkozi, on a state visit to the Roman Catholic HQ. Officially, the reason given was that nude and scantily-clad pictures of the former model and singer would b...
Read full storyPrisoner seen selling drugs to Van Der Sloot to face charges
Sources from the Peruvian Justice Bureau report that the prisoner caught on tape supplying suspected killer Joran Van Der Sloot with drugs is to be charged with criminal neglect in supplying an inferior product. "Yes" Said the source "Joran was no...
Read full storySmart Home Threatens Owners with Eviction
Smart homes have been around for a couple of decades now. Special wiring and technological advances allow the homes to take care of just about every aspect of running the home from round-the-clock automatic cleaning and dusting to securing the perime...
Read full storyColeen's revenge
Wayne Rooney has been seen in central Manchester with his mother-in-law, Colette. Sources close to the family are saying that Coleen decided to send Rooney on a shopping trip with her mum, in an attempt to rebuild the bridges he destroyed, while he w...
Read full storyLiverpool To Be Nationalized
Liverpool Football Club, who are in a right sticky mess at the moment, are to be nationalized, says a statement released by the government this morning. Nationalization is the process of taking an industry or assets into the public ownership of a…
Read full storyWorld's most disabled person found
Bob lives in Milton Keynes and is cared for by his mother, Ethel. Bob suffered terrible birth defects during his mother's somewhat difficult pregnancy. He is now 35 years old. Bob was born with no arms, no legs, no mouth, no ears and only one eye,...
Read full storyPrince Charles stops eating tomatoes
Prince Charles has issued a statement saying that, forthwith, he will not be eating tomatoes and appeals to other to give up eating the succulent red fruit. "Well, I was, you know, walking around my garden at Highgrove, having a chat to the grass...
Read full storyJack Straw Photo Hoard Found
For those who thought that Jack Straw had a strange fascination for prisons (he doubled the prison population from 40,000 to 80,000 in just 5 years), new evidence has just been found to support it. 46,361 photos showing prisons and prisoners have...
Read full storyChurlish Captain Capitalism Saves Miners
Chelsea Hotel (MP) - The Churlish Captain Capitalism & Executive Sidekick, Dale the Driller, saved the Chilean miners using their free-market super hero tools. "It needs to be said," stated The Captain, "The rescue is a smashing victory for free...
Read full storyPresident Obama & Family Ran Out Of The White House!
Very early this morning the President of the United States, Barack Obama, grabbed his family and fled the White House. They are now residing in the Watergate Hotel. A terrorist threat to the White House? A practice run for 2012? No, it was a...
Read full story