Written by P.M. Wortham

Friday, 15 October 2010

image for Ashton Kutcher Buys Demi Botox for her Birthday, Pays Price
The gym membership didn't go over well either

Reportedly back in the dog house again, Ashton Kutcher, or perhaps more appropriately named as Mr. Demi Moore is back sleeping on the couch again after his birthday gift, including a year's supply of Botox treatments, put him in the 'persona non grata' category in his own home.

Reacting to Demi's recent conversations over her desire to return to the gym, perhaps look into the new freezing technique to remove mid-section fat cells, and Botox around the eyes, Ashton did what he thought to be the attentive thing and pay for those treatments in advance.

"Clearly, Mr. Moore needs to learn the difference between listening to a woman's ramblings about her looks, and agreeing to her own criticisms", says heterosexual relationship expert, Perez Hilton. Perez adjusted his blue wig, touched up his lipstick then added, "Everyone knows you don't go out and buy your wife a gym membership, or worse, cosmetic surgery for her birthday!"

Other more qualified relationship experts agreed. Dr. Wilfred Hammington of the Van Nuys Couples Clinic says, "He really screwed the pooch there. Like she wouldn't immediately get defensive and ask the obligatory question about looking fat. He was done before even getting a chance to answer the question, poor guy".

Kutcher's fans hope he makes it back to the big bed soon. Sleeping on a corduroy couch isn't doing any good for Ashton's look. Let's just say he's making headlines.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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