NRA to branch out to reach other fear markets

Funny story written by UWGB-Beek

Friday, 15 October 2010

Washington DC-- The NRA revealed a new campaign to help spread fear in areas other than gun ownership.

"With the midterm elections looking like a sure thing for the republicans, we needed to expand our market base of fear to other areas in the United States. People aren't fearing the loss of their guns like they used to, because republicans will probably take back congress,so we decided to branch out our services." Chad Gunner, the NRA spokesman said to reporters.

The new plans are going to spread fear in the elderly and soccer moms, because they are already weak and easy targets.

The NRA plans on spreading fear that socialized health care will mean death panels for them. Sarah Palin will be the spokeswoman for this campaign.

"I didn't read the health care bill that was passed by Congress, because it had too many words in it,but I know that socialized health care will mean death for many seniors that get sick. Got a cold, too bad, lights out for you grandma and grandpa." Sarah Palin said on the NRA website.

Soccer moms are also being target because of their fear that tax payer dollars will be cut on after school programs like soccer and football, because liberals want to spend more money on teaching children how to think. Elizabeth Hasselbeck is going to be the spokeswoman for this group.

"I am outraged at the fact liberals want to cut extracurricular activities like soccer and football, because liberals feel money is tight right now and it should be spent on teachers. I think those are just ugly lies to keep Americans from succeed at things that will only offer them short-term joy." Elizabeth Hasselbeck said on the View.

The NRA is very excited about their new campaign, and already have Carl Rove working on getting money from foreign countries to help pay for the television commercials.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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