Prince Charles has issued a statement saying that, forthwith, he will not be eating tomatoes and appeals to other to give up eating the succulent red fruit.
"Well, I was, you know, walking around my garden at Highgrove, having a chat to the grass and weeds, and happened to stop to discuss the weather, as one does, with a tomato bush, and I happened to mention how I like the odd tomato in a sandwich with my caviar, as one does. The plant was horrified and told me how it hurts when their beautiful red fruits are pulled off.
"I thought about it, as one does, and thought that possibly the plant was right and one didn't ought to cause it undue pain so I resolved not to eat any more tomatoes unless they are raised and picked humanely."
We called at Highgrove for a comment but a man in a white coat came to the gate and told us that the Prince was sleeping peacefully.
