As the seagulls soar over the River Mersey and the clouds billow in the wind, the great city of Liverpool is facing possible extinction.
Cilla Black has appealed to the referee but he took no notice. 'What a carry on' she said 'how can they let Liverpool sink into the mud of oblivion.'
So, as the fat cats quarrel over their saucer of cream, the end of Liverpool is being debated in the courts with Solicitors tripping up each other and yellow cards everywhere.
Liverpool fans are near the end of their tether and throwing copies of the 'Financial Times' onto the pitch unread. 'What use is all this commotion to our dear club?' asked a disgruntled fan 'none of these creeps know the first thing about football, they only care about money.'
Meanwhile the Bank loan to the club has to be repaid to avoid bankruptcy and a ten point reduction which would put the team below even West Ham in the League.
At the eleventh hour Ken Dodd has put a rescue package together and he is waving his Diddy Stick to get attention.
He may yet save the day.