Written by P.M. Wortham

Friday, 15 October 2010

image for Jesse James Pleads with Sandra Bullock to Reconcile
C'mon Sandy, Do a little ink for me.

Though a visibly upset Ms. Bullock had ended the relationship with the Hollywood biker king months ago, Jesse James has been spotted multiple times at Bullock's outer driveway gate pleading for entrance to talk about reconciliation.

Buster Knuckles, personal assistant and long time friend to Mr. James, tells reporters that James is now well past his sewing oats phase and wants to come back to Sandra. "I mean like, dude, Jesse is wrecked over this thing, you know? Like he decided to go down the bad girl path with that tattoo stripper chick and then that red haired tattoo parlor TV chick, but he really wants a stable family in the end, you know?", says Knuckles.

Bullock doesn't seem convinced, while her personal staff assures reporters that she has no interest in reconciling with her womanizing former husband, though Bullock does hint at the fact that James really knew how to ring her bell.

James was spotted again yesterday at Bullock's outer gate carrying tattoo templates for her to look at, asking again to be let in. Dropping them at the gate in disgust, the designs had included a dragon for an inner thigh, a tramp stamp for the lower back with the words "Sandra's Bar and Grill; Liquor in the front, Poker in the Rear".

Knuckles responded after the incident by defending Jesse, "He just a biker dude who likes tattoos on his women, that's all. He really does love Sandy, she just needs a little ink on that fine ass."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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