Written by Ellis Ian Fields

Monday, 11 October 2010

Cheryl Cole's bizarre orange appearance on this weekend's X Factor has been blamed on an accident straight out of American sitcom Friends.

The popular Geordie, at the centre of judging controversy over Zimbabwean songstress Gamu, was so orange that she was described by one observer as looking like an Oompa Loompa from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

And she has even been dubbed Two-Tone Tweedy, because it is not an all-over tan.

But an insider from Cheryl's camp explained that the tan was not deliberate.

"It was like that episode of Friends where Ross goes for a tan. After being sprayed on the front, he had to count to so many before turning around.

"But there was confusion about how fast to count, and he ended up getting sprayed twice on the front. And again when he tried to put it right.

"Well, that's exactly what happened to Cheryl... she went in, got sprayed on the front and didn't turn round in time before she got sprayed a second time.

"In fact, what the X Factor cameras didn't show was that her back is still her normal colour.

"Some of us are calling her Two-Tone Tweedy - but not to her face, of course."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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